My Final Blog post for 2023

 2023 as come to an end and I'm ready for next year! 

The biggest thing for me in 2023 was being a substitute teacher again.

Actually, I made a soft return in November 2022 (while I was still working part-time at Macy's), but this year, I was all in.

As mentioned in the blog post from May 2023

https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/05/the-school-year-i-returned-to-school.html

So January, I was back with Kelly Services. I also reapplied with another private sub-agency Hi-Employment. I had a short history with Hi-Employment, for whom I worked with in late 2018. I had a longer history with Kelly Services. (2012-2018). I left both at the end of 2018, to take the library job with Kalākaua Middle School.

By February, I was working with both Kelly Services and Hi-Employment. Kelly Services works with private & charter K-12 schools.  Hi-Employment does that plus the private preschools as well as some Head Start sites. 

Though the bulk of my career is with the public schools, I haven't worked with them this year. The problem is that the DOE (like other state agencies) takes too long with job applications (the private agencies do background checks much faster) and even worse, take longer to pay employees. With the private agencies, I get paid next week Friday. With the DOE (or any state agency), I have to wait until the following month for my paycheck. I'd rather not wait.

If the Hawaii state government decides to start paying employees the following Friday, I'll reapply with the DOE  ASAP! But sadly, the state government is FILLED with people who just don't want to change anything. Meanwhile, they're losing out on people like me who would love to contribute but can't be waiting an eternity for their paycheck. 

I love the flexible scheduling that comes with substitute teaching. I also love going from school to school and working with the different students in different environments.  

The worst thing about substitute teaching (and other gig jobs) is that there's no sick leave or vacation pay.

I had a 3-week illness (the flu, no covid) so that means 3 weeks of not getting paid. Stayed home and rest because I had low energy, but lots of coughing and mucus.  I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

This summer, I still had sub gigs at the various preschools. And this winter vacation, I'm subbing at a Head Start site. But the next vacation has no guarantee of a sub gig! 

I'm on the lookout for a more profitable, full-time job where I can thrive. 

However, finding a steadier job with better pay that matches my talents and my psychological well-being has been a major challenge for me.  

As noted in a blog post from earlier this year....

https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/03/my-mental-health-career-development.html

I did some have good temp jobs in the past, the problem is that they're temp

Library jobs are a good fit, the problem is people don't want to leave those positions, and I have to wait for someone to retire before a position opens up

When it comes to clerical work, organizing stuff is (usually) easy for me. The problem is having to do call-center duties, which would be too overwhelming for me

substitute teaching is a very good fit for me, the problem is there's no paid vacation or sick leave

I'm very selective in applying for positions so that I don't waste interviewing for positions that aren't a good match for me

it would be a good idea to apply for teaching assistant positions when possible. Just know if it's a good fit before applying

When applying for positions, the job listings usually list the generic criteria (especially true for state positions)  but when interviewing for the specific position, what the employer is looking for is usually more specific than the generic criteria listed in the initial job posting

When it comes to those kinds of interviews, I sometimes aced certain questions (because they match my previous experience) but as soon as they ask about something I have no previous experience with, the vibe of the room changes

When writing cover letters or doing the interview, I'm going to be more upfront about what works for me (ie. written guidelines, polite instructions, etc). This is to inform the employer ahead of time of how to best guide me, and also to weed out employers that don't want to make those accommodations.

I did get some mental health services earlier this year. The problem is that after 9 months, he kept asking me the same questions (we're talking about open-ended questions that require long explanations) about things we discussed multiple times already. It's as if I was talking to the air. 

But sometimes, leaving one service provider can land you with someone even worse, as noted in the following blog post

https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/12/beware-of-psychologist-dr-mark-scott.html

I do have plans & ideas for further mental health services for 2024! But I'll keep the details private for now as they're still just ideas not yet put into action. 

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This year marked my 2 decade anniversary at my current apartment. 

https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/07/20-years-at-my-apartment-2-decades-of.html

I experienced the biggest rent increase going from 2022 to 2023. I was worried about another big increase for 2024. But lucky for me, 2024 rent is going to be the same as 2023.

But still, I need more revenue to remain in my apartment for the long term.  

I have considered the following options

• look for other apartments to move into
• ask friends if they want to be roommates in a 2+ bedroom apartment
• Apply to be roommate via the Hawaii Homesharing program
• stay in my current location and hope for the best.

I contacted the landlords for 2 affordable apartment units but I got no response.

I asked friends about being roommates, one expressed interest. We had discussions, but we haven't reached a final decision. 

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This year also marked my 2-decade anniversary of this blog and my 1-decade anniversary of having a YouTube channel. 

https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/10/2-decades-of-blogging-1-decade-on.html 

Just reading my earlier blog posts showed how far I have come in developing as a person, as well as how the world has changed over the years. 

Learn more at .

https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/11/a-brief-reflection-on-old-blog-posts.html

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Pablo the Mad Tiger Warrior hasn't released any new music in 2023 and only released one single in 2022. This got people worried that I'm not making music anymore. 

Well, I haven't had as much time to make music, but I did make enough tracks for my next album, which I plan to call "Urban Honolulu Jam 2", a follow-up to my 1st "Urban Honolulu Jams" (released 2016).  I'm still in the process of changing titles for some of the tracks as well as figuring out what order should the songs appear.  Also, I still have to figure out how I'll pay for distribution and CD manufacturing since I already have more than enough debt as it is. I'm open for donations via PayPal  at  at https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/pweg

 And don't forget  that Pablo the Mad Tiger Warrior  has all kinds of merch (shirts, hats, pillows, postcards, stickers, magnets, and much more) showcasing my designs at RedBubble. They don't make it until you order it. Check out my designs and start shopping 😊 at https://www.redbubble.com/people/madtigerwarrior/explore

And going back to music, here are some of my favorite tracks from 2023

• Smith "Lemon"
• Latto v/Lu Kala "Lottery"
• Coi LeRay "Players"
• Lil Durk & J Cole "All My Life"
• Miley Cyrus "Flowers"
• Miley Cyrus "Jaded"
• Depeche Mode "Ghosts Again"
• Dua Lipa "Houdini"
• XG "Left Right"
• Toosii "Favorite Song"
• Chvrches "Over"
• Saweetie, Tyga, YG "Birthday"
• Big Boss Vette "All the Pretty Girls Walk Like This"
• Megan Trainor "Made You Look"
• Doja Cat "Paint the Town Red"
• Doja Cat "Agora Hills"
• Drake w/SZA & Sexy Red "Rich Baby Daddy"
• Lizzo w/SZA "Special"
• Tate McRae "Greedy"
• Jack Harlow "Lovin on Me"
• The Chainsmokers w/Shenseea - My Bad
• Teezo Touchdown "Familiarity"
• Tiesto, BIA, 21 Savage "Both"
• Post Malone "Chemical"
• Jonas Brothers - "Waffle House"
• Maneskin "Kool Kids"
• That Mexican OT, Paul Wall & Drodi "Johnny Dang"

and the nostalgia tracks

• Tyga, YG, Blxast "West Coast Weekend" 
• Snoop Dogg, Tha Dogg Pound, RBX, The Lady Of Rage - "West Coast Party  2023"
• Pitbull w/ Lil Jon "Jumpin"
• Paul Russell "Lil Boo Thang" 
• Demi Lovato "Cool for the Summer (rock version)"
• Luke Combs "Fast Car"
• Hannah Laing, HVRR "Party All the Time"
• Bobbi Storm "We Can't Forget Him"

and to end this year, and will probably be more impactful in 2024

• Nicki Minaj w/ J Cole "Let Me Calm Down"

notable deaths of 2023

 Earlier this year, I have written the following blog posts on prominent people who have passed away this year.

on David Crosby, Pelé, Barbara Walters (the last 2 died in late Dec 2022)    https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/01/notes-on-recent-deaths.html

on Tina Turner, Tony Bennett, Sinead O'Connor, Jim Brown & Jerry Springer       https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/07/notes-on-recent-deaths.html

on Pee-Wee Herman and Magoo      https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/08/pee-wee-and-magoo.html

Closer to home here in Hawaii, on Tracy Ryan & David Nahinu                 https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/03/notes-on-recent-deaths.html

Jim Leahey and Gregg McMackin (aka Coach Mack) https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/02/jim-leahey-and-coach-mack-2-legends-of.html

Bob Wagner                                                                 https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/10/in-memory-of-bob-wagner-1947-2023.html

I didn't have time to post about other prominent people who have passed away this year, but now I have time. I definitely won't be able to blog about every prominent person who died this year. I'll just write about those who have done something I found interesting. 

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Jimmy Buffett was the musician that was known as the life of the party.  His biggest hit "Margaritaville" was the anthem for Westerners who move and/or visit the tropical areas for a good time. He had a cult following called the "parrotheads" who come to his concerts with parrot hats (and sometimes, real parrots).  Beyond his image as a tropical slacker, he was a real hustler with a business empire of restaurants, clothing lines, stores and more. 

learn more at https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/jimmy-buffett-margaritaville-singer-dies-072354351.html

https://reason.com/2023/12/25/jimmy-buffett-bard-of-the-florida-man/

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Steve Harwell was another singer with party tracks. He was the lead singer of Smash Mouth, an alternative rock band that was popular at the dawn of the new millennium (also happened to be the time I went from high school to college).  "Walking on the Sun" was the band's 1st hit, but the most popular one was "All Star", the perfect jam for any part. They also covered the Monkees "I'm a Believer" which was part of the "Shrek" soundtrack. Sadly, Harwell's life as his addiction to alcohol and other drugs lead to his downfall.

learn more at 

https://www.npr.org/2023/09/04/1197540017/smash-mouth-steve-harwell-dies 

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2023/sep/04/smash-mouth-steve-harwell-lead-singer-death

https://www.staradvertiser.com/2023/09/04/breaking-news/smash-mouth-frontman-steve-harwell-dies-at-56/

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Harry Belafonte was an entertainer & a civil rights activist. He was a descendant of Caribbean immigrants and brought the Caribbean influence to US American music before Bob Marley became a worldwide icon.  He was also an actor, who like Sidney Portier, who preferred dignified roles over stereotypical roles usually given to African American actors. All this during an era when the civil rights movement was about to launch. 

Belafonte not only supported civil rights movement, he also helped fund and organize some of the marches, including the famous  Freedom March on Washington.  Decades later, he organized Nelson Mandela's first trip to the USA.

He become UNICEF's Goodwill Ambassador and was involved in various humanitarian causes.

He continued to be critical of those in power, and he was especially disappointed by African-Americans who gained access to power. He blasted fellow Jamaican-American Collin Powell for his role in the US-Iraq war.. He also criticized Barack Obama for not caring enough for the poor and for not being radical enough.

learn more

https://www.npr.org/2023/04/25/516446742/harry-belafonte-dead

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/25/opinion/harry-belafonte.html

https://www.wshu.org/music/2023-12-29/island-man-how-harry-belafontes-caribbean-roots-helped-him-change-america

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/25/arts/music/harry-belafonte-dead.html

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Bobby Knight was a college basketball for Army, Indiana & Texas Tech. He was known for his knowledge of basketball strategies but even more well known for his temper tantrums.  He was verbally abusive to everyone who got anywhere near him. Not only his players, referees, and journalists but even college administrators. At Indiana, he was videotaped head-butting and choking players. But what really got him fired was grabbing the arm of a student (who wasn't on the team) who greeted him in an informal manner.

Needless to say, Bobby Knight wouldn't last in this era. Abusive coaches have lost their jobs in recent years, including but not limited to Urban Meyer and Todd Graham. The days when coaches could get away with anything are now over.

Learn more on Bobby Knight at        https://www.cnn.com/2023/11/01/sport/bobby-knight-death-coach-health-spt/index.html

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Henry Kissinger was the US Secretary of State under Richard Nixon. This was during the Cold War when the USA and the Soviet Union were competing over who would be the dominant power. While the USA prides itself on "freedom", its foreign policy was more about advancing power than advancing freedom. Kissinger supported fascist dictators in Chile, and supported massive bombings in Southeast Asia.  For that, he was confronted even decades later by protesters. 

learn more at

https://www.npr.org/2023/11/30/1216237476/henry-kissingers-complicated-legacy

 https://jacobin.com/2023/08/henry-kissinger-war-crimes-realpolitik-rehabilitation

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Norman Lear was a TV producer not afraid of controversial content. Back in the early 70s, there was no cable TV, much less the internet. TV shows tended to sugarcoat the reality of the world. Norman Lear lead TV into a new direction, with sitcoms that addressed racism, sexism, poverty, abortion and much more. His famous show "All in the Family" was known for family arguments about all those issues. The main character Archie Bunker was a racist sexist set in his ways even as the world around him changed. He constantly clashed with his more liberal family members.   His other shows included "Maude" (focused on a white liberal feminist) "Good Times" (focused on a low-income African-American family) and  "The Jeffersons" (focused on an upper-class African-American family).   

Norman Lear later focused on activism, starting a liberal organization "People for the American Way" to counteract against religious conservative groups like "Christian Coalition" and "The Moral Majority" 

learn more at                                                   https://time.com/6343345/norman-lear-dead-obituary/  

https://www.salon.com/2022/07/27/norman-lear-100-birthday/

https://www.salon.com/2023/12/07/norman-lear-was-a-true-hollywood-liberal-for-better-and-for-worse/  

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Pat Robertson was the leader of the Christian Coalition, a politically conservative group that encouraged evangelical Christians to vote Republican. He even attempted to be a nominee for US president back in 1988, but George HW Bush had the upper-hand as the vice-president under Ronald Reagan.

Robertson was known for his lunatic rants. He blamed various various natural disasters on the populations of the areas. He thought hurricanes that hit Louisiana and Florida were punishment for hosting gay pride parades. He thought the 2004 tsunami that devastated South & Southeast Asian nations was a punishment for those countries for having a non-Christian majority. He thought the 2010 earthquake in Haiti was punishment for the voodoo faith of some of the residents. He also expressed agreement with Jerry Falwell's rants that blamed the LGBT, ACLU, pagans and feminists for the 9/11 attacks. 

Robertson called others "satanic", yet he aligned himself with dictators of Liberia & Zaire (now known as Democratic Republic of Congo). Who's satanic now?

learn more at 

https://www.npr.org/2023/06/08/584849772/pat-robertson-dies-televangelist-and-a-leader-of-the-religious-right

https://www.aaronrosspowell.com/p/speaking-ill-of-the-dead

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Silvio Berlusconi was Italy's version of Donald Trump: a celebrity mogul turned right-wing leader of the nation. Both used xenophobia as a selling point voters, both had sexual assault allegations. Both corrupt and sore losers when voted out of office.

learn more at 

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/12/world/europe/silvio-berlusconi-dead.html

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Carolyn Bryant (later known as Carolyn Bryant Donham) was the Mississippi store clerk known for her connection to the 1955 Emmett Till murder case. Till was an African-American teen from Chicago and was visiting relatives in Mississippi. Accustomed to a more integrated environment, he wasn't hesitant to flirt with European-American females. However, this was still the Jim Crow era, and inter-racial mixing was considered a deadly taboo. 

After Till flirted and whistled at Ms. Bryant, his cousins got him out of there immediately, knowing what might happen. What did happen was Bryant's husband (Roy Bryant) and his older brother (JW Milam) found the house Till was staying in, kidnapped him, tortured him and dumped his body in the river. 

The trial got worldwide attention. An all-white jury acquitted Mr. Bryant and Mr. Milam. Knowing that double-jeopardy laws protected the acquitted from further consequences, both men bragged about the incident in a magazine interview.

While Emmett Till didn't get the official justice he truly deserved, the Bryants and Milam because social outcasts. Even their early supporters didn't want to be seen with them. They lived on the run, moving from town to town, hoping the media would never find them.

Mr Bryant and Mr Milam died before the turn of the century. The social media age began, and it was easier for information about Ms Bryant's whereabouts to become public. Her last years included protests outside the senior-citizen's homes she resided in.  

Learn more at https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/27/us/carolyn-bryant-donham-dead.html

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/7/26/2183381/-And-What-About-Emmett-Till-s-Killers-Turns-Out-The-Local-Black-Community-Took-Its-Revenge

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Sandra Day O'Connor was the first female member of the US Supreme Court. She was appointed in 1981 by Ronald Reagan and was the only women there for a decade until Bill Clinton appointed Ruth Bader Ginsburg (aka the RBG).  She retired in 2006.

Though she was appointed by a Republican and usually sided with the center-right, she did disappoint conservatives who wanted judges that would vote against abortion.  She expressed skepticism of affirmative action but upheld a university's affirmative action program in a 2003 ruling. 

learn more at 

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Sandra-Day-OConnor

https://www.biography.com/legal-figures/sandra-day-oconnor

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Mangosuthu Buthelezi was a Zulu nationalist in an era when South Africa was transitioning away from apartheid.  His Inkatha Party disagreed with Nelson's Mandela's African National Congress (ANC) on strategies and tactics. Buthelezi didn't agree with the ANC on their advocacy of a worldwide boycott of South Africa, nor did he agree on their socialist aims.

South Africa's apartheid government gave several African tribes some small amount of land to rule over (known as "bantustans". Buthelezi was the leader of KwaZulu, the Zulu homeland. However, that wasn't enough as those  bantustans were located in remote areas and were only a tiny portion of South Africa.  They did nothing to protect the rights of the majority of the indigenous African populations. Buthelezi was seen by some as a "sellout" for accepting the position of ruling over a bantustan. 

After Mandela was released, Buthelezi was Mandela's main rival when it came to support of the country's indigenous African populations. Buthelezi was the spokesperson for the Zulus who felt they might be left behind in favor of Mandela's Xhosa tribe.  Mandela and Buthelezi eventually made peace as it was inevitable that Mandela would be elected as the first indigenous African president of South Africa. Buthelezi then worked for Mandela as the minister of home affairs. 

Learn more at 

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/09/world/africa/mangosuthu-buthelezi-dead.html

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-66308185

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Gangsta Boo was the only female member of Three 6 Mafia, a gangsta rap group from Memphis. She was part of the group when they became underground legends but left before the group had mainstream success. She later focused on making solo albums and collaborations with other rappers. 

She was known for both her aggressive rhymes and sex appeal. She paved the way for other female hardcore rappers like Cardi B, Remy Ma, Kamaiyah,  Trina, Khia, La Chat, GloRilla and more. 

learn more at https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/gangsta-boo-lola-mitchell-three-6-mafia-dead-obit-1234655043/

Merry Christmas

 Pablo the Mad Tiger Warrior wishes you and your loved ones a Merry Christmas

(note: merch with the above images (and more) are available on RedBubble at https://www.redbubble.com/people/madtigerwarrior/explore

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And today celebrates Jesus Christ, the man who was sent by God on a "suicide mission" to help heal the people and get them to follow God's light. Jesus sacrificed his life for the truth  and was killed by those who can't stand the truth!

And I feel like I was sent to Earth by God for a purpose. To sacrifice myself to expose the truth to the world

At first, I thought I was going to do that by being a media mogul with a record label, TV/radio show, the works.

None of that worked out that way!  I didn't get the status of a major executive producer. At 43, all I have is my blog and instrumental tracks! And a tiny bank account. I sometimes I feel that I failed as an adult to gain a higher status in life.

But I feel that God has sent me here to go on various "suicide missions" disguised as "opportunities" to expose rotten people in various institutions! Whether it was educational programs, jobs, internships, or even clinical settings, if I find psychologically dangerous people, I can't be silent about it. God wants me to publicly expose it on my blog, my YouTube channel and spread the word on social media.

And what do I get out of it? Not money, in fact, I lose a lot of money in the process. 

Sometimes, I have found an opportunity that I thought would be "The One" which turns out to be filled with corrupt, psychologically dangerous people, and I end up being the one who exposes it all. And if I have to start from scratch all over again. 

While the phrase "silence is violence" can sound overly self-righteous, I feel like I'm doing the world a major disservice if I'm silent about corrupt, psychologically dangerous people I come across in real life. Lowlife scum thrives with the silence of others! While I can't be too harsh on those who remain silent, I'll be the one who sacrifices myself so that those who are exposed won't be able to hurt others anymore.

Sometimes, I wish God would just give me the money without all the drama. Why I gotta be the one doing these "suicide missions" of exposing psychologically dangerous people hidden within the various institutions I come across? Why should I be doing all the work in exposing people within institutions? Why can't other people pick up the slack, so I can just relax and chill for once?  But if it's got to be me, then I guess it is. 

Don't get me wrong, I have had opportunities to work with great people and I appreciate them all! My current employers are great (hope they stay that way) but it's all just temp/on-call work without sick leave or vacation pay. 

But even if my current employer is great to me, I end up coming across other people in non-employment situations that need to be publicly exposed.

In fact, in my previous post, I wrote about a devil's disciple disguised as a mental health professional (Dr. Mark ScottVerschell). He tells me that I shouldn't be quitting those negative workplaces I left, that I should stick with those employers to gain seniority and gain money and status. See, this is the Devil trying to play games with me, telling me to "go along to get along" with truly shady people! 

Don't be surprised if Dr Mark Verschell used his position as a mental health professional to discourage people from exposing sexual harassment, racism, and unsafe practices in the workplace.  Dr Mark Scott Verschell is truly the devil's disciple. 

Well, I guess that was a "suicide mission" that was disguised as a mental health healing opportunity that turned out to be another psychologically dangerous person to be publicly exposed.

I mentioned this on a community social media outlet "NextDoor" and someone told me "You are not doing yourself any favors by posting these things. For all you know, your employer is reading them." This is Not about doing myself any favors, it's about doing the world a favor by exposing psychologically dangerous people, and if I have to sacrifice myself, then so be it!

Plus, my employer can read whatever they want. You can't live your whole life living in fear of what your employer might read! Your employer doesn't make the final call on whether you go into heaven or hell! Think about that!

But yeah, I really hope that in 2024, I will just get a great opportunity without all the drama. I would LOVE to take a break from these "suicide missions" and have other people pick up the slack for once. Or better yet, I just win money from Publisher's Clearing House, use it to finally become a media mogul, and have a bigger platform to spread the words of truth without having to be the one doing those "suicide missions".

But I also have to mention that my struggles, as frustrating as they are, are simply First World Problems compared to the ones facing journalists in war zones around the world exposing massive human rights abuse. I have it easy in comparison.

Merry Christmas

beware of psychologist Dr. Mark Scott Verschell

 Earlier this year, I posted a blog about mental health as it relates to career development.

https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/03/my-mental-health-career-development.html

For a while, I had therapy sessions with Dr Amerson. It first, it seems like it would be a great partnership. We not only talked about career development but other life issues as well. But after 9 months, he kept asking me the same questions (we're talking about open-ended questions that require long explanations) about things we discussed multiple times already. It's as if I was talking to the air.

So I contacted an insurer about seeing another therapist for a second opinion.

I was referred to Dr. Mark Scott Verschell. He calls his private practice "A Heathful Psychology".

Remember, it took 9 months for me to decide Dr. Amerson wasn't the right person for me.

I took only ONE DAY to decide Dr. Verschell is much worse than the previous therapist.  That his tactics are the opposite of "A Healthful Psychology"

You want to talk about first impressions?

Even the negative workplaces I experienced didn't have anywhere near the bad 1st impression I got from Dr Mark Scott Verschell.

Here's what I wrote to Verschell after the first session! 

From: Pablo Wegesend

To:  Dr Verschell

 

Thanks for attempting to work with me.

However, based on our initial interaction, I can conclude that your communication style does not work with me and it’s best that I not waste any more time.

It took me 9 months to conclude that the previous therapist wasn’t the right fit.

For you, I already concluded that on the first day.

Your questions like “can you change your employers?”  sounds like you are talking down to me, and I don’t need that from a therapist. Questions like that totally misses the point of why I seek mental health services.

 

So this is a final goodbye. My next scheduled appointment is cancelled.

I will not read any future responses from you, and all emails from you will be left unread.

 

Mahalo,

Pablo Wegesend

 

 Even though I just said "I will not read any future responses from you", I just sent this email to him on 12/24/2023 (the day after this blog post was originally posted)  basically starting with I will open those emails. I'm showing that I'm open to reflection if he's open to reflection! 

I previously said I would delete email responses from you. You know what? I changed my mind, I will open those emails. (you can send them unencrypted) 

I had great therapists in the past like Dr. Williams, (who I saw back in the early 2000's and only stopped due to change in insurance) and Dr. Russ (who I saw when I was at UHM back in 2014, and could only be of service when enrolled). They talked with me, not down to me. They showed empathy with me! They acknowledged my pain! They would NEVER scold me to refusing to endure psychological abuse at toxic workplaces! It's not like they always agreed with me, but they always showed compassion and empathy  I expected you to be more like them!

Even my previous therapist (Dr. Amerson) while he wasn't ideal, he at least showed some level of empathy for my struggles with career development. While I thought at the end that his approach wasn't right for me, he still approached my issues with MUCH MORE HUMANITY than you did! 

Just from the initial session, I got an extremely negative first impression of you!

Even the negative workplaces of the past have NOWHERE NEAR the negative first impression that I got from you!  

I came to you for help because I have traumatic experiences with workplaces, and you decided it was a good idea to talk down to me like “you think you can change your employers mindset?” Really? 

Did you REALLY think I didn't know I can't change employer's minds?. REALLY?   

OF COURSE I KNOW THAT!

You're extremely severely ultra-mega missing the point of why I seeked help!

My request for help HAS NOTHING to do with wanting to  change employer’s mindset, yet you talked down to me as if I did! 

 

You asking me the question  "you think you can change your employers mindset?" is a very combative style of communication!  It was totally uncalled for! You're EXTREMELY missing the point of why I seeked help!

The reason I sound a bit combative because I went down to your level!  Correction: While I went below the ideal level, I  still didn't even go anywhere near your extremely low level! 

 I have depression because of psychological abuse from past workplaces and yet expect me to stick with psychological abusive workplaces for a long time? Really? What kind of therapist are you? That's not "A Healthful Psychology"!

A real therapist would approach it like "let's check if that person has depression" (I would've told you "yes" if you asked)

 or "let's ask about what physical and psychological effects he endured from those workplaces" (if you asked, I would've TOLD YOU that my body was shaking and my heartbeat increased and I became paranoid about getting a heart attack, and that I have consulted a doctor about my heart, though they found nothing) WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK about that?

Or you could've started with "thanks for sharing your experience, let me share you mine" WHY DIDN'T YOU START WITH THAT?

Why didn't you ask me about past workplaces where I thrived? I would've told you great stories of great supervisors IF YOU ASKED ME! 

Why did you resort to scolding me for not remaining in psychologically toxic workplaces! That's not "A Healthful Psychology!" 

Only a toxic person would encourage people to endure toxic work environments. Real supportive people would encourage people to find productive ways to stand up for oneself and encourage people to find greater environments. My previous therapists did that!  You didn't do that! 

I am experiencing severe psychological harm because of you telling me to remain in toxic workplaces. You basically ruined my Christmas weekend because of your insensitive style of communication! 

An apology from you would be nice. I'm open to an apology.  Maybe you have spent the last 24+ hours thinking about where you went wrong with me.  Maybe in the last 24+ hours, you have thought "Dammit, I screwed up, I should've approach Pablo's issues in a different way".. Or "I didn't know I come across that way when speaking that way with him, I would do better next time"  I can respect that! We all make mistakes and I'm willing to give you a benefit of the doubt. I'm willing to give you a benefit of doubt and I will be receptive if you acknowledge the psychologically harmful ways you have responded to me. 

But if you reply in an unapologetic tone, I will respond back at your level of communication and I will mention about it on my blog and on social media.   If there's anything I'm skilled at, it's social media battles. 

In fact, I already mentioned about you in my blog

http://tinyurl.com/y9apmpjs (this already got more clicks some older posts, and it been  up for less than 24 hours as of now) 

I will also notify Kaiser Permanente about this so they can re-evaluate whether to continue referring their members to you. 

You choose how you want to respond! 

But yes, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!  

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Mark Scott Verschell
Psychologist, PsyD

He starts off initial session by talking down to patients
He talks down to patients dealing with depression over dealing with negative workplaces
He thinks people should remain in psychologically harmful workplaces
He doesn't want to explore the trauma caused by negative workplaces
He shows ZERO empathy with patients with trauma over negative workplaces.
And to add insult to injury, he gives a negative first impression that I didn't even get from negative workplaces.

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(PS: I really hate doing this so close to Christmas, but psychologically dangerous people like Dr. Mark Scott Verschell take advantage of the excessive generosity that silence provides. Anything less than public humiliation shows excessive generosity to him. Silence only gives scum like him a green light to commit more psychological harm) 

PS #2: Don't be surprised if Dr Mark Verschell used his position as a mental health professional to discourage people from exposing sexual harassment, racism, and unsafe practices in the workplace.  Dr Mark Scott Verschell is truly the devil's disciple. 

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(and yes, another PS: the phrase "negative workplaces" in this post DOES NOT refer to my current job (where I have great relations with other staff, though it's basically an on-call job that doesn't come with sick leave or vacation pay, so I'm looking for further career development) but instead refers to past workplaces that were really negative (ie. various retail shops (link 1 and link 2), a school library, Dept of Health and other places I already detailed in past blog posts)

some thoughts on Israel/ Palestine

 Being that the Israel/Palestine crisis has so many complexities that I don't have time to write a comprehensive essay, I'll just post the most concise thoughts at this time. For those who want to scream "what about this and what about that?", I only post in my limited free time.

Many of the overseas protesters have a limited view of the Israel/Palestine based on sources that confirm their narrative.

Many allegedly "woke" protesters seem to think Israel is one big "red state on steroids". Yes, there are some people (and communities) that fit that stereotype.

But Israel (like most countries) has areas that are more conservative and areas that are more liberal.

Much of the kibbutzes/villages/etc that were attacked by Hamas were liberal pacifist communities. Same with the festival that was attacked

Hamas KNEW THIS and attacked them because they were easy targets that were less likely to fight back.

Notice they didn't attack the more right-wing settler communities (which are truly more Islamophobic) because they're more likely to be armed and ready to shoot back.

Also notice that Hamas attacked on a holiday, when people are more likely to let their guards down.

In other words, Hamas are cowards.  

Hamas also KNEW that the allegedly "woke" leftists overseas are ignorant about the many liberal pacifist communities in Israel.

Israel intelligence agencies KNEW Hamas was ready & willing to launch a massive attack from Gaza.  Bibi Netanyahu KNEW this but didn't add more security near Gaza.

Why? Because I think Netanyahu WANTED the attacks to happen. He wanted the liberal pacifist villages/kibbutzes/festivals to be attacked to scare the rest of Israel into rallying around the leader (which be him) and also because he and his fellow right-wing nutcases wanted war with Palestine.

Netanyahu (like Trump) aren't overwhelmingly popular in their countries, they only win elections by small margins against a disorganized opposition. 

The opposition to Netanyahu in Israel was just starting the be more organized with massive protests in the streets.

How did Netanyahu respond? By having lax security near Gaza when he knew Hamas was planning an attack. 

In other words, Netanyahu was willing to allow other Jews to die, so that a now heavily traumatized nation will rally around him.  

And it will allow Netanyahu to do what his supporters wanted him to do, which was to start a massive war on Palestine.  

And when the bombs started dropping on Gaza (a small crowded area), it would definitely put civilians in danger. To add insult to injury, Netanyahu blocked humanitarian aid to Gaza.  For this, there is massive backlash against Israel

Meanwhile, the governments of Egypt and Jordan aren't even allowing Palestinian refugees to seek refuge there. They are just as complicit as Netanyahu in harming the Palestinian people. 

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As for overseas observers, while most liberals are horrified by both Netanyahu and Hamas, there is a disturbing trend on the Radical Left to make excuses for Hamas (and minimize their atrocities).

Hamas is not a progressive organization, they are ultra-conservative nutcases that want to replace Israeli oppression with Palestinian oppression.

But they fit the leftist narrative of "oppressed vs oppressors" nevermind that MUCH OF HISTORY includes revolutions that replaced one oppression with another.

The Palestinians were given their own state in Gaza in 2005, for them to do whatever they want. Hamas didn't even win a majority of the votes in 2006, they only got like 44% of the vote, but they won more votes than others. But they decided "We won this election, no more elections". So a whole generation came up and didn't get a chance to vote on whether they wanted the Hamas to continue being in power. 

Hamas could've used their chance to make Gaza a shining example to the world, to make Gaza into a prosperous place like Dubai. Instead, they used Gaza to launch more attacks on Israel. Hamas has no interest in making Gaza prosperous, they're only interested in taking all of Israel/Palestine "from the river to the sea" and starting a new Holocaust/pogrom on the remaining Jews left. 

But dummies overseas don't understand that Gaza was given a chance for a peaceful independence but Hamas decided otherwise.

Overseas dummies also think that Israel is a "white settler colony". While much of Western education focused on Israel as a refuge for Holocaust survivors, they left out the fact that MOST Israelis are descendants of Jewish refugees escaping persecution from Muslim-majority countries. But because most Jews in the USA are descendants of European Jews, people in the USA tend to think of Jews as "white". But the Europeans never thought of Jews as "white" and the Jews coming from the Middle East and Africa would never be seen as "white" by people who are asked "what race is that person?"

Even though I'm thousands of miles away from Israel/Palestine, and there are very few Jews or Arabs where I'm at, the few Israelis & Palestinians I did meet in real life look so much alike when they're not wearing their traditional gear. In fact, I remember subbing at one school and this one girl who identified as Palestinian looked so much like another girl from another school who identified as Jewish.

Israel/Palestine is less about "whites oppressing brown indigenous" and is more like Japan occupying Korea in the early 1900s or like the tribal rivalries turned deadly in places like Ethiopia and Rwanda. Most people from far away can't even tell those people apart but the people there can.

Hamas wasn't nice to the Asian & African migrant workers on the Israeli kibbutzes they attacked.

But allegedly "woke" dummies claim they're all about "#BlackLivesMatter" and "#StopAsian Hate"? Nonsense!

(also notice that the allegedly "woke" dummies claim to be intersectional feminists who scream "Silence is Violence", but they are silent about the misogynist violence  Hamas inflicted in their attack on Israeli villages/kibbutzes/festivals/etc. ) 

But allegedly "woke" dummies still wanted to claim the Israel/Palestinian crisis as "white Europeans vs brown indigenous" when Jews were there before the Arabs moved in. Israel/Palestine were ruled by so many outside entities (including but not limited to the Romans, Arabs, Turks, British, etc) that much of the population has mixed over the millennia

And yes some Jews who migrated to Europe mixed with the Europeans (which was why you see some really white Jews with blond hair and blue eyes). But doesn't erase the fact that those Jews also have DNA that is common among Middle Eastern people.

Let's put it this way: Jason Momoa is indigenous to Hawaii even though he has white skin and grew up in mostly "white" Iowa. But his Native Hawaiian ancestry is legit. 

The same is true for European Jews who moved to Israel, they are returning to their ancestral home, the same way Jason Momoa is returning to his ancestral home when he comes to Hawaii. 

For them, moving to Israel was returning home, like they finally found a place where they can be themselves, away from the historical persecution they faced in Germany, Poland, Russia, etc.

But the problem was some Jewish fanatics wanted Israel/Palestine all to themselves and inflicted terror on the Palestinian Arab population. his happened on a massive scale in 1948, and what was called "the Nakba". 

This is sort of like how the Europeans inflicted terror on Native Americans to move them out. But many European immigrants who came later (like the late 1800s, early 1900s) had NOTHING to do with the genocide of Native Americans, they just wanted to move to a place of opportunity. Same with the Latin Americans, Asians, and Middle Eastern immigrants who also came to the USA later in history.

Many of those who migrated to Israel post-1948 had nothing to do with the Nakba, just like those who migrated to the USA now had nothing to do with the genocide and slavery that had happened earlier. 

In the 1960s, the Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO) started a violent resistance to Israeli oppression of the Palestinians. They launched attacks on Israeli civilians in schools, buses, planes and much more. Their allies murdered Israeli Olympic athletes in Munich in 1972.

By the early 1990s, there was the Oslo peace treaty between Israel and the PLO. And there was the famous handshake between PLO leader Yassir Arafat and Israel Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin with then US president Bill Clinton in the background. 

There was optimism in the air.

But some people didn't want peace.

Right-wing Israelis still wanted their version of "river to the sea" with all of Israel/Palestine under their control. One of them committed a mass shooting of Palestinian civilians in Hebron. Another assassinated Rabin for "being a traitor"

Meanwhile, Hamas also didn't want peace. They launched suicide/homicide bombings on Israeli cafes, parties, buses, you name it.

And with that, the dream of peace was dead!

Bibi Netanyahu took advantage of the crisis and won elections as Israeli Prime Minister.  He never had an overwhelming majority, but the opposition just didn't have enough support. 

It wasn't enough for Hamas to have Gaza. They wanted it all, "from the river to the sea".  It wasn't enough for the Israeli right-wing nutcases to just have a few settlements in West Bank, they wanted it all "from the river to the sea".

And viewing this all from thousands of miles away, it is heartbreaking  

Just recently, I was subbing at a Christian school and the students were watching a short animated video about the birth of Jesus. In that video was the message "Peace on Earth". And yet, in the part of the world, two-thousand years later, there is no peace. 😢