My Mental Health & Career Development

 A part of why people will not speak publicly about their mental health issues is that they fear in the social media age, employers would find out and assume

• this guy might explode at the first sign of resistance
• this guy might feel overwhelmed and get an anxiety attack at even the slightest inconvenience

Obviously, those sound like exaggerations, but in the age where employers can look you up online, most job-seekers just won't take any chances. 

But then again, just as employers have to screen out applicants,  applicants should also screen out employers that just won't work out for them.

It's hard when one is desperate for an opportunity to pay the bills.

At the same time, one has to protect one's mental health as much as possible. 

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So here I am admitting that I am receiving mental health services on issues related to employment.

I'm in my 40s, I have been an adult for 2 decades, and I have 2 decades more until I can retire.  At the same time, my parents are in their 70s.  The clock is ticking. 

Most of my adult life, I worked as a substitute teacher. 

•   pros: flexible scheduling when school is in session. 
• cons: no work available during school breaks

Because of the cons, I have been looking for something more long-term. I did consider becoming a full-time teacher but I figured the workload will be too stressful for me.  I decided to go the library route, got a degree in Library & Information Science, and eventually landed a full-time library assistant job at a middle school. I left that job in 2020 due to problems with the head librarian. I wrote about it at https://pwegesen.wixsite.com/kalakaua-ms-library 

2020 was also the pandemic year. I did a few side jobs, then I worked at Macy's. I already had previous stints in fashion retail (both Macy's and Nordstrom Rack).  But fashion retail isn't something I want to do for the rest of my life.  

And Macy's does a bait & switch their employees. I applied to do recovery (organizing stuff on the sales floor) but I got switched to sanitizing hi-touch points (easy job, but seen as "low status" by the general public). Then when the mask mandate ended in the spring of  2022, Macy's decided to do away with hi-touch sanitizing.

The geniuses at Macy's thought it would be a good idea to switch me to "back of house support" which has plusses (organizing incoming materials, which I love doing) and minuses (working with machines, which I hate doing). After a few weeks, I had a discussion with them, telling them they are negligent about workplace safety, I told them I'll go to OSHA, and I told them they should've asked me if  I liked working with machines before switching me to a position involving machines. After that, they switched me to "front-of-house support duties" (folding towels and clothes, replenishing the shelves, etc) which was what I should've been doing the whole time because that's where I excel.  But now the new problem is the reduction of work hours.

So time to move on. I did apply to return to substitute teaching. I applied to work at an afterschool program.  I also applied for library and office positions. 

I landed a temp office position with the Department of Health. The easy part was organizing the items in the offices. I could do that in my sleep.  The problem is the direct supervisor is disorganized, only gives oral instructions, and doesn't believe in written guidelines. Even worse, on a day that had more work assignments than usual, the supervisor told me "don't write, just listen" as if I'm supposed to remember everything. At that point, I had a nervous breakdown.  I told her I work better with written guidelines, and she refused to accommodate me on that. I left and I sent an email telling her how inefficient she is as a supervisor. Learn more at https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/02/when-working-at-department-of-health-is.html

That was in January of this year.

I knew it was time. 

It was time to do 2 things

• find new work
• apply for mental health services 

 I wasn't unemployed for long because I had something to fall back on.  I did reapply the previous year to work as a substitute teacher under Kelly Services.  And in January, I also reapplied to work as a sub with another private agency Hi-Employment. With both agencies, I can work with private schools, charter schools, preschools, and even some Head Start sites.

As for the DOE, I didn't reapply this time around. They take too long with job applications (the private agencies do background checks much faster) and even worse, take longer to pay employees. With the private agencies, I get paid next week Friday. With the DOE (or any state agency), I have to wait until the following month for my paycheck. I'd rather not wait.

I am very grateful that Kelly Services and HiEmployment are willing to hire me. When there's an issue, I can email them, and they are very responsive to my concerns.  And I have been able to pick up many work assignments with them.

And I feel like I'm back in my element when I'm substitute teaching. Believe it or not, it's actually easier than working in retail.  But still, when working with kids, the job requires split-second decisions and any wrong move can have consequences.  But even with that pressure, it's still easier than retail. 

This time, I'll just stick with elementary and preschool when it comes to subbing. I used to do a lot of middle schools but rarely did high schools.  The problem with secondary schools is that even if (for example) 4/ 5 of the classes went smoothly, the other 1/5 is usually so bad that it ruins the day big time, and I rather not deal with that drama at this point in my life.  Plus, I connect better with the younger kids anyways.

I was a middle school library assistant which was much easier than subbing in middle school classrooms. So if I ever work in a middle/high school again, it would be a library job.  Other than that, no!

Mental health services

As mentioned earlier, in January I applied for mental health services when it comes to issues related to employment. 

My mom actually suggested it late last year. This year, no more waiting. 

The following is what I shared with the mental health professionals about my mental health and my career development

Career-Related Strengths

·       2 degrees (sociology, library & information science)

·       Likes to organize items (both physical and digital)

·       Loves to write (better than speaking)

·       Basic computer skills (documents, spreadsheets, information searching)

·       Works well when given lists, templates, flow-charts, other charts, other visuals

·       Can make visual displays

·       Can connect with children [if they're well-behaved 😉 ]

·       13 years sub teaching

·       Strong interest in social studies

·       Willing to share opinions

·       Willing to help others

·       Able to move boxes

·       Arrive early (at least half-hour), nearly always

Career Related Weaknesses

·       Don’t like being rushed

·       Get overwhelmed if being asked to do too much at once

·       Can only take a limited amount of disrespect, especially from other staff

·       Anger, irritable, easily agitated

·       Harder time learning skills (can learn facts faster) and need repetitions & gentle instructions before mastering

·       Don’t like heavy machinery

·       Don’t drive, don’t like long commutes

·       Can’t stand food service work

·       Speech impediments (mumbles, talk fast)

·       Hard to share concerns orally without writing it out first

·       Don’t like wearing earpieces (learn more at this link)

·       Can’t stand anti-maskers

·       Haven’t been able to establish seniority

·       Difficulty finding a long-term, year-round stable career that I’m willing to remain in.

 

Career History (cliff notes version) (not in chronological order because they overlap in many ways):

·       Temp office assistant (w/DOH) (left recently after only 4 weeks)

·       Just returned to substitute teaching, which I did for 13 years (2005-2018)  (pros: flexible scheduling when school is in session. cons: no work available during school breaks)

·        worked in libraries : mostly in student helper positions as an undergrad, plus internship and Library Assistant for a middle school

·       Brief stints as a tutor for students in Special Ed

·       Summer program (2005-2006)

·       Afterschool program (late 2022)

·       fashion retail employee (Macy’s, Nordstrom Rack)

·       Various temp jobs (inspect ballots, test mobile devices, sign waving, election day precinct official, traffic data collector, manual labor)

·       UH dorm front desk (2000-2002)

·       Friends of the Library volunteer

·       Side hustle: electronic music, visual art  (for sale online)

So I had appointments to speak with a mental health professional about these issues. In fact, earlier today, I had another counseling session to discuss these issues.

We're nowhere near done, but we did discuss the following today

• I did some have good temp jobs in the past, the problem is that they're temp
• Library jobs are a good fit, the problem is people don't want to leave those positions, and I have to wait for someone to retire before a position opens up
• When it comes to clerical work, organizing stuff is (usually) easy for me. The problem is having to do call-center duties, which would be too overwhelming for me
• substitute teaching is a very good fit for me, the problem is there's no paid vacation or sick leave
• I'm very selective in applying for positions so that I don't waste interviewing for positions that aren't a good match for me
• it would be a good idea to apply for teaching assistant positions when possible. Just know if it's a good fit before applying
• When applying for positions, the job listings usually list the generic criteria (especially true for state positions)  but when interviewing for the specific position, what the employer is looking for is usually more specific than the generic criteria listed in the initial job posting
• When it comes to those kinds of interviews, I sometimes aced certain questions (because they match my previous experience) but as soon as they ask about something I have no previous experience with, the vibe of the room changes
• When writing cover letters or doing the interview, I'm going to be more upfront about what works for me (ie. written guidelines, polite instructions, etc). This is to inform the employer ahead of time of how to best guide me, and also to weed out employers that don't want to make those accommodations.

For the last point, I forgot to mention in today's session that I'll be upfront in informing employers I'll be wearing a surgical mask and face shield. Employers that want to hire covidiots can hire someone else instead. 

If I have more time, I could come up with more issues that we discussed.

So I'm writing all this to help everyone understand the position I'm in. Also to help those who might have similar struggles that I'm dealing with. 

And if employers see this, what they do with this information is up to them.  I just want to be upfront about my strengths, my weakness, what works for me, and what doesn't work for me.