Joe Biden and personal space

Personal space varies by individual people in individual situations.

Some people love the close contact, other people hate it!

Some people will only allow close contact from a select few, everyone else has to step back.

And of course, surprise touch will definitely startle a person much more than an expected touch! 

Also depends on the mood!

During a college field trip to a special library, one woman grabbed my shoulder to pull me closer to the group to take a picture. I was so annoyed at such a surprise "attack" that I told her "get your hands off me".  My reaction had NOTHING to do with her looks. If I was near the same woman at the nightclub and she had gently pulled me closer to dance, I would've been super-mega-happy to get closer.

It's all about context! 

In another situation, as I was sitting in a dining room, one woman I have never met before come from behind me to "fix" my shirt's collar WITHOUT WARNING!  I was annoyed and told her to get away from me!  Because it was basically a surprise attack! Had she asked politely, I would've politely either said "yes" or "I can do it myself".

https://www.uhcindia.com/HPPNewsletter/Mar2017/teaching-children-body-privacy.html

Even girls invade boys personal space

But I've also been the one who should've been more respectful of other people's personal space. 

At nightclubs, I've gotten too close to women who didn't appreciate it (mostly because I got too close when they didn't see me coming).

As a young adult, I had poked the sides of young females who didn't like it! I even had to apologize to a few.  

I mentioned these types of situations from a previous blog post

https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2018/02/comments-on-metoo-social-awkwardness.html

As a teen, I noticed that the more popular boys would poke girls on the side, and teased the girls which got them giggling. I was thinking "this is how you get chicks".  I tried that and usually got disastrous results. Lost the respect of some girls. Others giggled when they asked me to stop the pokes/jokes,  and they later accepted my facebook requests. I still wonder if they think I'm a hypocrite when I posted links to blogs/articles about sexual harassment. Too afraid to ask!

and

At the nightclubs, some women will intentionally rub their rears against a men standing near them.  Mentioning this isn't "slut-shaming" or "blaming women", it's reality!  It's a fun reality if you're a man into that kind of thing! And yes, those women do enjoy the man "taking the bait". 

However, sometimes women will start dancing and shaking her booty without noticing that a man is behind her! The man might think"ooh, this girl is near me, that means she wants me to bump & grind her. After all, the last time I was at this club, another woman did intentionally rubbed her rear on my front and enjoyed it, so this woman wants the same".  But it turns out this woman dancing in front of him really doesn't know he's behind her,  and he's now rubbing his front on her rear and ............. oh, oh, BIG MISTAKE on HIS part! The girl gets freaked out, walks away and her friends give that man a hostile glare!   

And yes, the 2 different situations in the 2 previous paragraphs happened with me.  That's why at the club, I have to make sure the woman knows I'm near before I make any moves. If I'm not sure she knows I'm near, I'll just take a few steps back to avoid contact and awkward situations. 

As for close contact with men,  I usually rather not. Hugs at graduations, funerals or other special occasions are fine with me! So are hugs between long-lost friends and relatives.  Handshakes and fist bumps are cool too! 

However, there have been times when other males put their arms on my shoulders out of friendship and I instantly reacted with "get your hands off me".  I later felt guilty of having homophobic reactions towards something that wasn't even done with homosexual intent! 

There was one case when I was working at Macy's during Christmas season when a male co-worker was playing with my Santa hat when I was doing a cash transaction. I snapped at him saying "get your hands off me". He later apologized. But the thing was, if he did it on our break, it wouldn't be a problem. But doing it when I'm doing serious business, that's a problem. It's all about context.

=======

And now on to Joe Biden.

Joe Biden has been known to physically embrace people. That's how he bonds with people.


There have been videos that show him giving shoulder rubs and face squeezes to women at official events. Those videos are often presented with a tone of "ha ha, look at Joe Biden"

But only recently do we hear from some of the women about how they felt about such close contacts.

It all started when Lucy Flores, a female politician from Nevada expressed discomfort about the time Joe Biden came from behind unexpectedly, sniffed her hair and planted a small kiss on the back of her head. 

Lucy Flores, “An Awkward Kiss Changed How I Saw Joe Biden,” The Cut, March 29, 2019,
 https://www.thecut.com/2019/03/an-awkward-kiss-changed-how-i-saw-joe-biden.html.


However, not all women felt the same way about Joe Biden's physical contact.

Some even loved it.

For example, Stephanie Carter was at a ceremony for her husband's appointment to Secretary of Defense when Joe Biden gave her a shoulder rub.  Carter was a longtime friend of Biden and felt comforted by the shoulder rub. 


Isaac Stanley-Becker, “Biden grasped a cabinet official’s wife, and the photo went viral. Now, she says everyone had it wrong.,” Washington Post, April 1, 2019,
 https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/04/01/biden-grasped-cabinet-officials-wife-photo-went-viral-now-she-says-everyone-had-it-wrong/?noredirect=on.

She was troubled, too. But not by her interaction with the vice president, as she affirmed in a Medium essay published on Sunday. Instead, she resented how a tender moment between friends was reduced to a single misleading image, caught in the maw of online punditry. In the essay, titled “The #MeToo Story That Wasn’t Me," she recounted how the vice president had whispered his thanks into her ear and “kept his hands on my shoulders as a means of offering his support.” 

and

But the new testimony from Carter raises questions about how much those viral visuals capture, and how much they may leave out.

Carter, who works in venture capital marketing, stressed that she wasn’t disputing the experience described by Flores.

“Let me state upfront that I don’t know her, but I absolutely support her right to speak her truth and she should be, like all women, believed,” she affirmed of Flores. “But her story is not mine. The Joe Biden in my picture is a close friend helping someone get through a big day, for which I will always be grateful.” 

To sum it up, some women liked Biden being "up close & personal", others didn't. What bothers one person might not bother the other. Men (me included) sometimes get confused by this! 

But instead of getting frustrated by the confusion, we shall understand that each person is an individual and to respect each individual's preference and apologize if we mess up!


======


Some female writers have claimed that Joe Biden wouldn't be so quick to do physical embraces with men.

But he is, as this meme showing Joe Biden putting his hand on the knee of a male police officer. 

meme from "Robertson Family Values" facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/568187893258350/photos/rpp.568187893258350/2117209481689509/?type=3&theater

Jonah Goldberg expressed this interesting point about why Joe Biden gets close to people.

Jonah Goldberg, “The Heat On Biden May Be Politically Driven,” Townhall, April 5, 2019, 
https://townhall.com/columnists/jonahgoldberg/2019/04/05/the-heat-on-biden-may-be-politically-driven-n2544297.

Biden's touching is part charm offensive, part power move. It's a way to make a human connection. It's also a way to signal that he has the social authority to invade your personal space. It's of a piece with his belief that everyone should feel fortunate to listen to him spend an hour offering a few brief comments.

It does remind me of this one sociology professor at UH-Mānoa, Dr Peter Manicas. Like Joe Biden, Manicas was a loud proud progressive.  Also like Joe Biden, Manicas does get really close to people, both males and females. Manicas wasn't much of a toucher, but he will get close, partly as a way to establish a personal connection, but also partly as a way to assert dominance of the conversation.

Manicas did pass away a few years ago, and I did write a blog post about him when I learned about his death.

"In Memory of Dr Peter Manicas"
https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2016/02/in-memory-of-dr-peter-manicas-1934-2015.html

My first day as a UH student was memorable in itself. I remember my 1st class, Sociology 100. The professor was Dr Manicas, but people called him Maniacs (notice the a & c switched places in his name)! In the 1st day, he was already running around the classroom and yelling into people's faces at random! The 1st day, he was talking into a girl's face, but gender didn't even matter. I remember the same professor getting into one of the men's basketball players face, and his teammate was laughing at him!  

Lord knows what might've happened to Manicas had he still be teaching during the rise of the #metoo movement!  I'm not accusing him of being a sexual predator but his silly antics and personal space issues could easily be taken the wrong way.

And that's the thing, one wrong interpretation can get you in trouble. So it's best to respect personal space and apologize if you got too close for the other person's comfort.

government workers, libertarians, unions, wages

I wish I had more time to blog when the federal government shutdown was going on, but I can still say something now!

During the government shutdown, many of the employees either had to stay home or work without pay until the shutdown was over.  Most of the public sympathized with the workers who had to struggle to pay their rent and feed their families.

However,  there were some libertarians who were just happy to see government workers feel the pain, because "taxation is theft" and therefore government workers deserve to suffer.

Don't get me wrong, the libertarians made many valuable contributions to the political debate. They were for the legalization of marijuana and same-sex marriage way before it was cool for the Democrats to say so! They have been sounding the alarm over mass incarceration back when Democrats like Bill Clinton and Joe Biden were trying to outdo the Republicans in who can be more punitive towards drug users/dealers.  They were for open borders when Clinton & Obama was trying to have it both ways on immigration enforcement. They were the open skeptics towards America's aggressive foreign policy when the general public was ready for war after 9/11.  They also favor the legalization of sex-work when many are still reluctant to do so. They also prefer a non-punitive approach to solving the plastic waste crisis when the "woke" want a more aggressive approach.

Even on economic issues, they still make some persuasive points to the general public. For example, they are the voice for many small-time entrepreneurs who can't navigate the excessive bureaucratic red tape the way major corporations can. They are correct in pointing out that capitalism brings more innovation and life-enhancing improvements than socialism. They fight against excessive tax increases that put a strain on working families.

However, when libertarians mock the pain of government workers facing hard times during government shutdowns, they turn off potential supporters.

Yeah, I know the cliche, "taxation is theft".

But in many cases, the workers working in government are there because they needed a job, and the government happens to be the one who was hiring when they were applying.

Let's put it this way, a person working at Target isn't there because "Target is objectively better than WalMart", the person is working a Target purely because Target  was hiring when he/she was applying for jobs, because Target responded faster after filling out the application or because Target said "you're hired" before WalMart did!

Yes, I work for the state government as a librarian. Most libraries are government-run, though there have been more privately run libraries before the government took a larger share. Some private organizations still have their libraries.


I have applied for libraries run by government and non-government organizations! So why am I working at a library at a government-run school rather than a library run by a private organization? Because the library at a government-run school told me I was hired! Simple as that!  

If a library run by a private organization was the 1st library to tell me "you're hired", I would be working for that library right now!

The same is true for most government workers!  It's all about who says "you're hired" first when you need to pay your bills now! 


If you believe that libraries (or schools or nature reserves or public transportation or public parks) are better off run by private organizations, then I encourage you to make the case to the public. 

But gloating at employees at libraries (or schools or nature reserves or public transportation or public parks) when they are suffering from government shutdowns DOES NOT help the libertarian cause.  Socialist activists MEGA-LOVE it when they hear libertarians supporters gloat at the suffering government employees because such gloating makes life easier for socialist activists to advocate for more socialism. 


===============

Enough about government shutdowns, now let's focus on government-mandated wage rates.


Libertarians do make a good case when they note that minimum wage increases cause suffering for small-time entrepreneurs.  Unlike Amazon or WalMart, small-time entrepreneurs don't have enough profits to pay for all the wage increases.

Democratic socialists demand higher minimum wage and yet they say we need to be more like Sweden or Denmark. 

But those countries don't have a minimum wage.

What they do have is a system where unions are more widespread and unions negotiate with employers.

(learn more at
“Working in Sweden: Wages, Working Hours and Annual Leave,” Just Landed, accessed April 9, 2019, 
https://www.justlanded.com/english/Sweden/Sweden-Guide/Jobs/Working-in-Sweden

Claire Boyte-White, “5 Developed Countries Without Minimum Wages,” Investopedia, August 5, 2015,
https://www.investopedia.com/articles/investing/080515/5-developed-countries-without-minimum-wages.asp

Instead of a mandatory minimum wage, I believe all workers should be offered union membership. 

I don't believe workers should be required to join a union to have a job (yes, I agree with the Janus decision from the Supreme Court).

However, I believe that when hired, workers should receive brochures from all available unions, just like how they're usually offered information from all available health insurance plans. 

(note: in Hawaii, employers are required to offer, but not force, employees information about available health insurance plans)

Unions do offer valuable protection to workers and can negotiate better deals for the workers.

(note: I spent 13 years as a substitute teacher, a position that doesn't come with union membership and therefore not much due process available :(  That experience made me much more appreciative of being able to join a union when I got hired as a full-time library worker).

So instead of having the government tell businesses what to pay the workers, I think all workers should be offered union membership, and that unions and the employers should negotiate all compensation packages circa every 4 years.  The workers should also be allowed to peacefully protest against unjust conditions without retaliation from the employers.  The government should step in where there are abusive conditions at the workplace. However,  I think wages should be negotiated between unions and employers, and that the government should just step in if the employer isn't paying what they promised in the negotiated agreement.

Also, we should ban those Non-Disclosure Agreements (NDAs) that pressures employees to be silent about their experience with abusive work environments.  NDAs are meant to protect perverts and other abusers from being publicly exposed for who they are!  NDAs are the weapon of lowlife scum to further psychologically harm their victims! 

Same thing with employment agreements that don't allow the use of courts to solve disputes. While unions can help resolve workplace issues, sometimes they have limits, and employees should have the right to sue in court. Many employers use mandatory arbitration for the sole purpose of avoiding embarrassing facts to be revealed in public records.  All employment disputes that aren't resolved at the workplace/union level should be allowed to go to court!