Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Embrace the shy side and the hyper side

(note: the following was a section from last year's blog post. But I think this issue deserve its own blog post, so I cut, paste edit from an earlier blog post and put it here)




Last year, I came across this article, and it was about something I really wanted to address.


http://www.salon.com/2012/10/09/must_i_drink_to_socialize/

Basically, it was a letter to an advice column that stated "It bothers me that without a drink I'm sort of shy and awkward"

I'm sure that's what many have been thinking, and why many chose to drink alcoholic beverages.

Here is my response to that

I say EMBRACE THE SHY SIDE OF YOU!

Yeah, I know, hard to do that, if your family and peers have been stigmatizing your "shyness" for decades.

But the reason humans develop shyness is TO KEEP US OUT OF TROUBLE!

That's right, being reluctant to do something can save your life!

Just look at all the people damaged by "doing it to fit in". Many end up being substance addicts, dead early or in jail.

So EMBRACE YOUR SHY SIDE and (beep) anyone who doesn't like it!


Sometimes, it's better to be introverted than extroverted.



I learned that the hard way and I wrote a blog post on it last year

http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2012/09/myself-2-decades-ago.html

For one thing, I started middle school with same crazy sense of humor, saying inappropriate things as I did back in elementary school. WRONG MOVE!

Little did I understand the same humor that worked in elementary school did NOT work in middle school.  All it did was earn a few enemies.


I might've gotten away with my earlier silliness if I was one of the tough guys.

I wasn't!


After a while, I just learned to shut up in class, especially if you don't have any friends in that class.

Ironically, that got people who just me asking "why are you so quiet?"

But as the quote goes -- "It's better to be quiet and be thought as a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."


 I also want to say this:

Being "shy" in certain situations is a basic survival skill!


Sometimes, it's better to keep your mouth shut, and better to just listen, learn and soak in all things you are observing!



I also want to say this to all the parents who are over-worrying about this nonsense of "omg, my child is so quiet, I want him to make friends"



It is way more important to know which peers to avoid than to try be friends with everyone!



When you enter a new school, it is more important to observe than to try to fit in!



One of the ways I avoided trouble in high school that I observed my peers before even attempting to hang out with them.


Whereas I know this one guy who wanted to fit in with a clique thought they would just embrace him if he entered in uninvited! After all, they embraced the same music and fashion. But they didn't respect him! He didn't see the warning signs before joining them.  He no longer hangs out with them.  


Those who are introverted are less likely to end up hanging out the wrong crowd.


The extroverted, because they always want to be social, many times end up in situations in which their friends are doing the wrong thing (ie. drugs, vandalism, bullying, etc!)


And then what? You already know!



That's right, if you got an introverted child ---- EMBRACE THAT!



Of course, I'm NOT always introverted.



In class, I was usually the one asking questions and making comments on the class topic. Still am!


And by my senior year in high school, I was the life of the party. I sang during talent shows, yelled during  pep rallies, and the school events, I was hyper!  



That surprised some peers who thought I was "quiet" and "non-social" in some of my classes in previous years!


But I know when to be "shy" and when to be hyper! 



But more importantly,  I can enjoy a party/event/game WITHOUT drinking alcoholic beverages!


It's called "party responsibly"


Another important life skill!

Monday, August 26, 2013

Over-reactions to Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke

I usually reserve my commentary on the current music scene until the end of the year, when I do my usual "year in review" blog posts.

However, there are 2 artists who have experienced over-reactions from the public lately.

They are Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke.

Miley Cyrus had transitioned from being a star of a children's TV show to a young adult sex symbol.

Robin Thicke had some minor hits in the past, but he had his first mega-hit with "Blurred Lines" this year, with Pharell and T.I.


But first, we'll talk Miley

1) Miley Cyrus

Yeah, I know, she performed at the MTV awards last night! There are complaints.

People still can't let go of the fact that she's no longer  the innocent childhood star of "Hannah Montana".

Seriously,  when most of were 20 years old, nobody expected us to be the same person we were when we were 12 years old! But that's what happens to stars of children's shows ALL THE TIME!

Most of us were little lovable tweens at 12 years old who grow up to become 20 year-olds who did a lot of freak-dancing at the clubs after midnight!

But most of aren't followed around by paparazzi, so our transition has been much smoother. 

Miley Cyrus had her "Can't Be Tamed" song 2 years ago, but people still weren't ready to let "Hannah Montana" move on!

When this year's mega-summer hit "We Can't Stop" came out, I was thinking "FINALLY people no longer expect her to be the same person she was when 12 years old!"

But because her performance at the MTV awards last night was so explicit, the backlash came back with a vengance.

Seriously people, it was just a show!  Cyrus will continue to evolve, like most musicians do!

--------

It isn't just the sexuality that got an over-reaction. The race card has been pulled out too! To some people, having a European-American singer singing African-American style music will always be "exploitation"

http://www.vulture.com/2013/08/jody-rosen-miley-cyrus-vmas-minstrel.html

Cyrus has spent a lot of time recently toying with racial imagery. We’ve seen Cyrus twerking her way through the video for her big hit “We Can’t Stop,” professing her love for “hood music,” and claiming spiritual affinity with Lil’ Kim. Last night, as Cyrus stalked the stage, mugging and twerking, and paused to spank and simulate analingus upon the ass of a thickly set African-American backup dancer, her act tipped over into what we may as well just call racism: a minstrel show routine whose ghoulishness was heightened by Cyrus’s madcap charisma, and by the dark beauty of “We Can’t Stop” — by a good distance, the most powerful pop hit of 2013.
A doctoral dissertation could (and will) be written on the racial, class, and gender dynamics of Cyrus’s shtick. I’ll make just one historical note. For white performers, minstrelsy has always been a means to an end: a shortcut to self-actualization. The archetypal example is in The Jazz Singer (1927), in which Al Jolson’s immigrant striver puts on the blackface mask to cast off his immigrant Jewish patrimony and remake himself as an all-American pop star.

Look at what was highlighted in red:  Miley Cyrus being accussed of "racism" for imitating Lil Kim (as well as Nicki Minaj)! Other comments have claimed that Miley Cyrus is mocking "black culture" with her Lil Kim imitations. Those are heavy accussations and ridiculous assertions!

Look, I may have Latin American ancestry , but I don't have a problem with non-Latin artists like Rob Thomas, Diddy,Wyclef or 98 Degrees making songs with Latin themes!   

I also thought it was cool when Dr Dre, Snoop Doog, Ice Cube, Nate Dogg, Masta Ace and a whole bunch other African-American  rappers used lowriders (which started as a Chicano trend) in their videos back in the 1990's!

But even though people want to be silly with their race cards, most people aren't buying it!

White people pony up more than 50% of the revenue grossed by black entertainment - not to make fun of it or mock it - but because it's FUN and sometimes SEXY and often INCREDIBLE.  

Then, when they try to take part, it's racism?

Saying a white girl shouldn't twerk because it's an act that belongs to a particular race of people (1) is more demeaning to that group of people (come on, it's shaking one's ass. Black America is better than being the owners of ass-shaking) and (2) more racist toward the person trying to have fun. It's suggesting she should stick to white people activities/dancing/music - whatever those are.

Now, twerking on TV, strictly for profit - I'll concede there may be some exploitation there. But it's not hateful, nor suggesting some type of superiority - two legitimate qualities of racism.

Ask yourself this: two girls kissing in a club, exploiting and mimicking lesbian behavior just to excite guys: immature fun or homophobia?

I doubt anyone would describe that as homophobic. And twerking isn't racism.

Twerk, Miley Miley, twerk!

Everybody's talking about Miley so mission accomplished as far as she's concerned. I don't think her performance was entertaining or tasteful, but I fail to see racism. Go to any suburban high school prom, and you'll see white kids twerking. If Miley had used all white back up dancers, she'd be accused of appropriating black culture without giving African-Amercians a chance for employment and exposure. Love it or hate it, twerking is certainly derived from black culture, but like rock and roll, jazz, blues and countless lesser examples, it's crossed to the mainstream.

False. if Miley would've used all White (or a mixed group) of twerkers, she would've received less backlash on that aspect of her performance.

Saying a white girl can't twerk is like saying a black girl can't be a ballerina.Or sing country. It's just not fair. I don't think it's "appropriation of a culture" if it's based on product that is out there being sold. Once you market it to the world, you have put it in the pop blender and it's fair game. Lots and lots of money has been made by hip-hop being sold to the masses. It is now part of the culture of all the kids who grew up listening to it. It's the soundtrack of their childhoods, and in the tradition of pop music, they will use it it and morph it into their own thing. That's just how that goes.


2) Robin Thicke

and of course, Robin Thicke was on stage with Miley Cyrus at last night's award shows.

Since Robin Thicke has been doing R&B for a little while longer, he had less race cards thrown at him then were thrown at Miley Cyrus who came from a country music father, and Disney pop career.

But Robin Thicke had experience another type of over-reaction over his hit "Blurred Lines".

Thicke, Pharell, and T.I. were wearing suit  in their video, but the women were nearly naked (in one version) and fully naked (in another version). This led a big series of whining.  But you know what?  That video was made to entertain straight men! If the LGBT and straight women can have their entertainment, why not straight men?

There were parody videos with the reverse situation : fully clothed women and (nearly or fully) naked men!  Those parody videos are a better tactic than whining on feminist blogs!

And the other over-reaction to "Blurred Lines" was over the following lines from the song
 http://www.metrolyrics.com/blurred-lines-lyrics-robin-thicke.html
And that's why I'm gon' take a good girl
I know you want it
I know you want it
I know you want it
You're a good girl
Can't let it get passed me
You're far from plastic
Talk about gettin blasted
I hate these blurred lines
I know you want it
I know you want it
I know you want it
But you're a good girl
The way you grab me
Must wanna get nasty
Go ahead, get at me

What does that sound like to you?

What it sounds like it "hey baby, don't be shy, let's just have some fun"


However, the radical feminists have a different idea.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/06/17/blurred-lines-robin-thicke-s-summer-anthem-is-kind-of-rapey.html

The nudity might be fine if the song was called, “Let’s All Have Some Fun,” but it’s called “Blurred Lines,” and the subject itself is enough to make some female music fans uncomfortable. The song is about how a girl really wants crazy wild sex but doesn’t say it—positing that age-old problem where men think no means yes into a catchy, hummable song.

“Good girl, I know you want it,” sings Thicke, who has all of his clothes on, as one of the near-naked models dances and pouts next to him. “Talk about getting blasted, I hate these blurred lines, I know you want it, but you’re a good girl, the way you grab me, must want to get nasty.”

Not surprisingly the combination of the lyrics and the video’s nudity has irked some female music fans.
Has anyone heard Robin Thicke’s new rape song?” Lisa Huyne wrote in a post on her blog, Feminist in L.A. “Basically, the majority of the song (creepily named ‘Blurred Lines’) has the R&B singer murmuring ‘I know you want it’ over and over into a girl’s ear. Call me a cynic, but that phrase does not exactly encompass the notion of consent in sexual activity … Seriously, this song is disgusting—though admittedly very catchy.”

Look at the part highlighted in red: Robin Thicke is accused of promoting rape! That's a heavy accusation to be making!


Look, sometimes people let their real life trauma get in the way of making sense.



So, someone who might've heard "I know you want it" a few minutes before getting raped might have bad memories flashing back when there's a song with "I know you want it" even though that song was NEVER about forcing anyone into sexual intercourse! 


It's just a party song saying  "hey baby, don't be shy, let's just have some fun"  It didn't specifically state that "fun" would be sex right now! It could easily just meant "let's freak dance together"

 Also, T.I. was accussed of saying "let me break that ass in two". WRONG! Here's what he really said!
 One thing I ask you
Let me be the one you back that ass into

in another words, it's about freak dancing, not sexual assault!

And most people (male, female, straight, LGBT, whatevers) know that!  

It that's why the song is a mega-hit!