Earlier this year, I posted a blog about mental health as it relates to career development.
https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2023/03/my-mental-health-career-development.html
For a while, I had therapy sessions with Dr Amerson. It first, it seems like it would be a great partnership. We not only talked about career development but other life issues as well. But after 9 months, he kept asking me the same questions (we're talking about open-ended questions that require long explanations) about things we discussed multiple times already. It's as if I was talking to the air.
So I contacted an insurer about seeing another therapist for a second opinion.
I was referred to Dr. Mark Scott Verschell. He calls his private practice "A Heathful Psychology".
Remember, it took 9 months for me to decide Dr. Amerson wasn't the right person for me.
I took only ONE DAY to decide Dr. Verschell is much worse than the previous therapist. That his tactics are the opposite of "A Healthful Psychology"
You want to talk about first impressions?
Even the negative workplaces I experienced didn't have anywhere near the bad 1st impression I got from Dr Mark Scott Verschell.
Here's what I wrote to Verschell after the first session!
From: Pablo Wegesend
To: Dr Verschell
Thanks for attempting to work with me.
However, based on our initial interaction, I can conclude that your communication style does not work with me and it’s best that I not waste any more time.
It took me 9 months to conclude that the previous therapist wasn’t the right fit.
For you, I already concluded that on the first day.
Your questions like “can you change your employers?” sounds like you are talking down to me, and I don’t need that from a therapist. Questions like that totally misses the point of why I seek mental health services.
So this is a final goodbye. My next scheduled appointment is cancelled.
I will not read any future responses from you, and all emails from you will be left unread.
Mahalo,
Pablo Wegesend
Even though I just said "I will not read any future responses from you", I just sent this email to him on 12/24/2023 (the day after this blog post was originally posted) basically starting with I will open those emails. I'm showing that I'm open to reflection if he's open to reflection!
I previously said I would delete email responses from you. You know what? I changed my mind, I will open those emails. (you can send them unencrypted)I had great therapists in the past like Dr. Williams, (who I saw back in the early 2000's and only stopped due to change in insurance) and Dr. Russ (who I saw when I was at UHM back in 2014, and could only be of service when enrolled). They talked with me, not down to me. They showed empathy with me! They acknowledged my pain! They would NEVER scold me to refusing to endure psychological abuse at toxic workplaces! It's not like they always agreed with me, but they always showed compassion and empathy I expected you to be more like them!Even my previous therapist (Dr. Amerson) while he wasn't ideal, he at least showed some level of empathy for my struggles with career development. While I thought at the end that his approach wasn't right for me, he still approached my issues with MUCH MORE HUMANITY than you did!Just from the initial session, I got an extremely negative first impression of you!
Even the negative workplaces of the past have NOWHERE NEAR the negative first impression that I got from you!
I came to you for help because I have traumatic experiences with workplaces, and you decided it was a good idea to talk down to me like “you think you can change your employers mindset?” Really?Did you REALLY think I didn't know I can't change employer's minds?. REALLY?OF COURSE I KNOW THAT!You're extremely severely ultra-mega missing the point of why I seeked help!My request for help HAS NOTHING to do with wanting to change employer’s mindset, yet you talked down to me as if I did!You asking me the question "you think you can change your employers mindset?" is a very combative style of communication! It was totally uncalled for! You're EXTREMELY missing the point of why I seeked help!The reason I sound a bit combative because I went down to your level! Correction: While I went below the ideal level, I still didn't even go anywhere near your extremely low level!I have depression because of psychological abuse from past workplaces and yet expect me to stick with psychological abusive workplaces for a long time? Really? What kind of therapist are you? That's not "A Healthful Psychology"!A real therapist would approach it like "let's check if that person has depression" (I would've told you "yes" if you asked)or "let's ask about what physical and psychological effects he endured from those workplaces" (if you asked, I would've TOLD YOU that my body was shaking and my heartbeat increased and I became paranoid about getting a heart attack, and that I have consulted a doctor about my heart, though they found nothing) WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK about that?Or you could've started with "thanks for sharing your experience, let me share you mine" WHY DIDN'T YOU START WITH THAT?Why didn't you ask me about past workplaces where I thrived? I would've told you great stories of great supervisors IF YOU ASKED ME!Why did you resort to scolding me for not remaining in psychologically toxic workplaces! That's not "A Healthful Psychology!"Only a toxic person would encourage people to endure toxic work environments. Real supportive people would encourage people to find productive ways to stand up for oneself and encourage people to find greater environments. My previous therapists did that! You didn't do that!I am experiencing severe psychological harm because of you telling me to remain in toxic workplaces. You basically ruined my Christmas weekend because of your insensitive style of communication!An apology from you would be nice. I'm open to an apology. Maybe you have spent the last 24+ hours thinking about where you went wrong with me. Maybe in the last 24+ hours, you have thought "Dammit, I screwed up, I should've approach Pablo's issues in a different way".. Or "I didn't know I come across that way when speaking that way with him, I would do better next time" I can respect that! We all make mistakes and I'm willing to give you a benefit of the doubt. I'm willing to give you a benefit of doubt and I will be receptive if you acknowledge the psychologically harmful ways you have responded to me.
But if you reply in an unapologetic tone, I will respond back at your level of communication and I will mention about it on my blog and on social media. If there's anything I'm skilled at, it's social media battles.In fact, I already mentioned about you in my bloghttp://tinyurl.com/y9apmpjs (this already got more clicks some older posts, and it been up for less than 24 hours as of now)I will also notify Kaiser Permanente about this so they can re-evaluate whether to continue referring their members to you.
You choose how you want to respond!But yes, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
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| Mark Scott Verschell Psychologist, PsyD He starts off initial session by talking down to patients He talks down to patients dealing with depression over dealing with negative workplaces He thinks people should remain in psychologically harmful workplaces He doesn't want to explore the trauma caused by negative workplaces He shows ZERO empathy with patients with trauma over negative workplaces. And to add insult to injury, he gives a negative first impression that I didn't even get from negative workplaces. ========================================== |
