Thursday, May 24, 2012

Obama, evolution and same-sex marriage

Earlier this month, President Barack Obama finally announced that he believes in allowing for same-sex marriage.

Before that, Obama claimed that his views on same-sex marriage was "evolving".

This led to people say that Obama finally evolved when he announced that he was for same-sex marriage.


Credit : Benjamin Wheelock

-----------

Back in 1996, when Obama was running for Illinois state legislature, he claimed he was for same-sex marriage.

However, when there was talk about Obama being a possible presidential candidate in 2008, Obama tried to have it both ways. As your usual politician, Obama tried to satisfy as many groups of people without overtly alienating anyone. That means trying not to alienate the gay voters, but yet trying not to alienate the majority of people who are uncomfortable with same-sex marriage.

So yep, Obama claimed his views on same-sex marriage was "evolving".

His best bet was to say something along the lines of "we shouldn't discriminate against gays, but marriage is between a man and a woman".  That worked well in 2008.

But it's 4 years later, and many Obama's supporters were becoming impatient! They man they pined their hopes on disappointed them in many ways. There was still the hard economic times, military interference in Libya, the militaristic anti-marijuana policy, indefinite detentions and much more.

And many gay advocates were getting impatient with Obama. Yeah, he ended the "don't ask, dont tell" policy for the military, but that was no longer enough. It got to the point when major gay fundraisers in Manhattan, Hollywood and San Francisco were withholding any support for Obama's 2012 campaign.

Then Vice-President Joe Biden was asked by a TV reporter about the same-sex marriage issue. Being that Biden is known for "not being on message" and "speaking his mind without thinking it through", Biden said he was comfortable with same-sex marriage.

So now what Obama? Your 2nd-hand man said it, and you're suppossed to be the more liberal one!

After a few days of evasiveness, Obama must've just said "screw it already, I might as well just say it already".

Sure, the African-American community tend to be less accepting of same-sex marriage, but screw it, most of them won't vote for Mitt Romney anyways.

And if Obama loses 2012, his supporters could easily make Obama into a martyr, with statements like "Obama lost because he did the right thing an endorsed same-sex marriage"

2) My evolution

It's easy to mock Obama for his "evolving" statements when it came to same-sex marriage.

But social change comes with thousands of people changing their minds on all types of topics.

It was less than a century ago when women weren't allowed to vote, weren't allowed to work in many types of jobs, weren't allowed to divorce abusive spouse, weren't allowed to use contraceptives. Women were supposed to accept whatever crap came to them.

It was less than a century ago when racial minorities endured forced segregation, in which descendants of Europeans and Africans weren't allowed to use the same facilities. They weren't allowed to marry.  And those who refused to bow down got a beat down.

Even among European-Americans, there was discrimination against immigrants from southern and eastern Europe.  Heavy restrictions of immigration took place. And that was less than a century ago!

All those things have changed because activists stood up for their rights. They put up signs and marches. They also told their stories through print media, and later on, through recorded media.

And over time, thousands and even millions thought to themselves "what the hell was my problem, to think (women, Africans, Italians, Mexicans, Asians, whatevers) shouldn't be allowed to do this job, or use this facility or marry my sister or live in my community,................."

That's social evolution in action!

By the time I was growing up, it was taken for granted that we shouldn't be discriminating people based on race! Jim Crow was already over before I was born. There were so many minority role models ranging from popular entertainers, professional athletes, teachers, doctors, lawyers, scientist, and political leaders! It's hard for someone of my generation to think that my childhood heros like Bill Cosby, Micheal Jordan or MC Hammer would have beend forced to substandard facilities a few decades earlier, just because of their skin color.  

But yep, social evolution happened because many people realized it was stupid to discriminate against non-whites, that everyone should have a chance to succeed even if they are different from us.

By the time I was growing up, it was taken for granted that women work in business, science, politics, law enforcement, and many other occupations that would not allow them a few decades earlier. It was taken for granted that women can play sports.  It's hard for my generation to even imagine the idea that "women should just stay home" was once popular.

But yep, social evolution happened because many people finally realized that women should at least have a chance to pursue their dreams, even if it didn't match the average gender stereotypes.

-----
So yeah, by the time my generation was growing up, we were pretty much well versed on racial equality and on equal opportunities for both genders.

However, homophobia was still acceptable when I was growing up! You heard it all the time among my peers.

And yes, I was guilty of saying some homophobic things in coversations with my peers. (  I apologize for those statements and apologize to whoever heard it. I will discuss that issue more later in this post)


While religious conservatives give themselves credit for all the anti-gay backlash, I think they give themselves way too much credit!

For one thing, the most homophobic entertainment in recent times occur in gangsta rap, which obviously doesn't align with religious conservatives when it comes to crime, drugs and  promiscuous sex.

And most of the homophobic things I heard from my peers were not from religious students, but from the gangsters, wanabee gangstas, and the girls they hung out with.  Definitely not a religious conservative crowd.

I was NEVER a religious conservative. I had NEVER agreed with them on sex-ed, birth control, abortion, porn, or most other sexual issues.

I was NEVER raised in a religious conservative home! While my extended family had a mix of Catholics and Mormons, my parents never raised us in a religious tradition. Yes, they had books on spirituality. Yes, they had belief in a higher power, but they also believe that we shall find our own spiritual path instead of being force-fed religion from an early age!

However, when I found out about how homosexuals got their pleasure, my first reaction was "EWWWWW!" and "Yuck".  That's probably the reaction of most straight male teenagers, regardless of whether they grew up in a religious or non-religious home!  And for most of us, this led to negative feelings about homosexuals.

This is where mature proper guidance and exposure to information comes in. Me and my older brother were making negative comments about gays, and my mother would not tolerate that! My father was totally silent on the issue. My mother emphasized that we should respect others even if they were different.  My mother was right!

Meanwhile, in high school, I would spend a lot of time in the library reading books about controversial issues. They ranged from gang violence, racism, drug addiction, colonialism, war, you name it! I was becoming an amateur sociologist before I even know what a sociologist was.

I also read books dealing with sex and gender. We're not just talking "Playboy" (though our past-times did include watching and reading such stuff at friend's homes when the adults weren't around). I'm talking about books on issues like sexual harassment, sexual abuse, STDs, and then sexual orientation.

This was when I learned the horrible reality of what homosexuals had to go through growing up.  Feeling like crap because while their peers are happily checking out the other gender, they felt alone and isolated because they find themselves being attracted to "the wrong gender". And even worse, their peers are making negative remarks about those "attracted to the wrong gender". And many gay teens wouldn't want to publicly admit how they really feel, because they KNOW they'll never see the end of peer abuse!  This leads to self-hate and suicide!

YIKES!  All the guilt I felt now, knowing that! All the guilt now because I once debated against same-sex marriage in a social studies class with homophobic jokes. I could've been insulting the very heart of my peers and not even know it!

Not easy to live with that!

Around the same time, there has been mixed messages in pop culture. While the rappers are dissing their rivals by accussing them of homosexuality (ie. Ice Cube calling Cypress Hill "you f******* fagg-ts", Eazy-E posting old photos of Dr Dre wearing tight clothes), I was also watching TV with my mom when Ellen DeGeneres made her famous announcement on her sitcom.  While I already my mom warning us not to make homophobic comments, this was the first long conversation we had about the issue. -

----

Later, I found a shocking revelation about one of my uncles. I would call him "Uncle Pat". He was my mom's sister. I would always enjoy long conversations with Uncle Pat about my topics, and I considered him one of my favorite relatives. He was a very friendly guy.

He was also having health issues. I kept hearing about Uncle Pat having diabetes. However, I later remembered one time I was in my grandma's home, the topic of Uncle Pat came up. She mentioned about Uncle Pat having HIV.  My mind was "wait a minute, everyone kept mentioning diabetes". Then my mind became curious, so I asked grandma "how did he get it?". Then she told the truth --- he got it from one of his friends that I had vaguely heard about it!

That's how I learned the truth about Uncle Pat, something that was kept secret from many relatives. I didn't even know he was homosexual until that conversation with grandma.  He was never a cross dresser, never wore stereotypical feminine colors, didn't limp his wrists, didn't talk like those stereotypical "mahus" that everyone kept joking about!

I learned from my mother that this was something Uncle Pat was struggling with for decades. She was always the closest sibling to Uncle Pat, and this was why my mother was against homophobia. At first, my grandma wasn't happy when she learned about Uncle Pat's sexual orientation. My grandma did grow up in a traditional Catholic family. My Uncle Pat then told my grandma straight up "do you think I like being this way?" My grandma then understood.

Uncle Pat died from AIDS related illness in 2002!  I had long conversations with my mom and my grandma about Uncle Pat and the struggles he went through. My mother said "very few will ever understand the struggles Uncle Pat went through".

Uncle Pat said before his death that he didn't want a funeral. We respected his wishes. Though if he did have a funeral, I would have wanted to make a speech to honor him.

It is now a decade later. It is still emotionally hard thinking about this.  I feel very bad about saying things that would have offended Uncle Pat and millions like him who struggle with having to live a secret life because many people are mean-spirited about those with different sexual orientations.

3) Social evolution from here

While the voters still vote against same-sex marriage when the issue is on the ballot in their state, there are signs that things are changing.

While the older voters are still uncomfortable with the issue of homosexuality, the younger people are becoming more liberal on the issue.

You can sense that change when comparing California votes in 2000 and 2008.

http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2008/11/more-election-analysis.html


Proposition 8 was the ballot initiative to re-ban same-sex marriage in California!
It won 53% of the vote!
The religious conservatives were happy! Even in the year of Obama, people still agreed to ban same-sex marriage!

But they shouldn't over-celebrate!

In 2000, the people of California voted on this same issues. 61% voted against same-sex marriage!
So in 8 years, the opposition against same-sex marriage went from 61% to 53%.
I predict in 10 years, this issue would be voted on AGAIN, and the opposition to same-sex marriage will decline AGAIN, but that time to be less than 50%. They will then loose California forever.

And even in  African-American communities, where same-sex marriage has the lowest level of support, even the younger generation are becoming more liberal on same-sex marriage than their elders.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/same-sex-marriage-support-shows-diversity-in-african-american-religious-community/2012/05/16/gIQA7v6QUU_print.html

According to the Pew Research Center, statistics reveal that an evolution is taking place. In 2008, for example, only 26 percent of African Americans favored gay marriage whereas 63 percent opposed it. In 2012, however, the number supporting gay marriage has increased to 39 percent whereas the number against it has decreased to 49 percent.


There has been a much stronger movement towards acceptance of differing sexual orientations in pop culture, ranging from reality shows, movies and sympathetic pop stars like Lady Gaga, Clay Aiken, Adam Lambert and Katy Perry.

Even within the hip-hop world, things have been changing. Kanye West has been outspoken against homophobia in hip-hop and he admitted he was more nervous about being public on that issue than about his infamous remarks about George W Bush. And now, Jay-Z is on record for supporting same-sex marriage.

And even rappers and athletes caught making homophobic remarks are now saying things along the lines of "I didn't mean it that way", or "I wasn't dissing the gay community, I was just dissing my rival", etc, etc.

(article on hip-hop being less homophobic than before)
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/12/20/why-rappers-are-suddenly-speaking-out-in-support-of-gay-pride.html
---

Here in Hawaii, one well-known politician has evolved on this issue.

Tulsi Gabbard, who is part of the Honolulu City Council and is now trying to run for Congress written the following article
http://www.hawaiireporter.com/supporting-barack-obamas-strong-stand-for-marriage-equality/123

I congratulate President Barack Obama for taking a strong stand today on marriage equality for all Americans, regardless of sexual orientation. I understand his journey, and stand with him on this issue.
This is why in Congress I will work for the repeal of DOMA and support and co-sponsor the Respect for Marriage Act.
During my deployment to the Middle East with the Hawai’i National Guard in 2004 I realized that I could not, in good conscience, fight for liberty and freedom overseas while advocating something less than that here at home



This was surprising because her father (Mike Gabbard) was Hawaii's Most Famous Activist AGAINST same-sex marriage!

It goes to show that 1) parents have only a limited influence on their kids, 2)  Tulsi is now an adult and has learned differing views and 3) Tulsi knows where the wind is blowing and it's not in her father's direction.
-----


As for Obama's re-election chances, this issue probably won't hurt him much. Most voters are going to judge him on the economy. If someone was upset at Obama for not improving the economy fast enough, it would not matter if Obama is for gay marriage. So Obama is just like "screw it already, just say it already" when he admitted that he is for same-sex marriage. He needed to get the liberals more excited about voting for him, since the liberals are the heart of the Democratic Party.

Plus, even if he loses, it would probably be more the result of the economy not improving fast enough. And he could just say "look, even if the voters didn't agree with me on same-sex marriage, at least history will be kinder to me as the younger, more liberal generation gets older"

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Coming soon

My blog post discussing Obama's changed stance on same-sex marriage, how I have learned to be more accepting towards those of a different sexual orientation, and more.

I have written a large portion of the post already. I just need more time to insert references into my post.