Wednesday, October 15, 2014

34 years of life

More reflections as another year of life go by.


Sore foot, bald spot and   even a few hairs turning white. I'm not getting any younger.

However, I'm getting closer to getting my master's in Libary and Information Sciences (LIS) while still working as a sub teacher.  I see great potential in my future.

I'm still  enjoying the various types of parties (block parties, karaoke parties, birthday parties, nightclubs, etc). 

I'm still enjoying working with the younger generation! 

I still enjoy bike rides on sunny days with trade winds.

Got more life to live!

1) I'm Old Enough to Remember.........


 I'm now old enough to remember things that the latest batch of young adults had to learn about in history books or documentaries. (ie. LA riots, OJ Simpson case, Berlin Wall going down, etc)

I'm old enough to remember when Weezer, Notorious BIG, Bone Thugs n Harmony, Green Day, Aaliyah, Toni Braxton were all "new artists".  That was 20 years ago! 


I'm old enough to remember when the year 2000 was considered THE FUTURE! Now, the kids of today didn't even exist in 2000, and much of the technology of 2000 is now considered obsolete!


I'm old enough to remember back in 1991, when it was announced that Magic Johnson had HIV! Everybody was like  "Oh  -----, he's going to be dead by the year 2000!" It's 2014 and he's not just surviving but thriving!

I'm old enough to remember when a popular rap song stated "we're not ready for a black president" and people truly felt that nobody with any non-European ancestry would be elected USA president within our lifetime.

I'm old enough to remember when same-sex marriage was just a fringe idea that people didn't take seriously. Now, it's legal in many states and is seen as inevitable that it will be legal nationwide soon!

I'm old enough to remember when legalized marijuana was also a fringe idea that people didn't take seriously. Now, 2 states legalized, a few more are likely to do so soon.

I'm old enough to remember when the Internet wasn't a part of most people's lives!

I'm old enough to remember when you either had to record a song from the radio, buy a CD with 10 junk songs just to hear 2 good songs, or risk never hearing that great song again!

I'm old enough to remember when you missed a funny or interesting moment on TV, that's it, that opportunity is probably gone forever! Makes you stuck to a TV at a schedule determined by some far-off corporate person not interested in how you want to live your life.

I'm old enough to remember when people graduated high school, they truly feel that they might never hear from each other again.  Same when people changed jobs. Which made transitions a truly heart-breaking moment.

I'm old enough to remember when keeping in contact with long-time friends/classmates/co-workers/etc. required playing phone tag, which makes you want to give up, NOT because you didn't like that person, BUT BECAUSE playing phone tag takes too much time!

I'm old enough to remember when  one of the teaching assistants I was working with yesterday was actually one of my students! Yes, one of the middle school students that I taught in my first year of substitute teacher (2005)  is now one of the teaching assistants I have worked with!

Now, THAT makes me feel old!




2) Improvements I've seen in my lifetime!


Now, look at some of these "I'm old enough to remembers" I have just mentioned!


We have much more access to information than before. We can still be in contact with each other without playing phone tag. We can have access to entertaining moments without being "held hostage" by a TV/radio schedule.


 While there are still some people who want to hurt those of other races, race isn't a limiting factor in achievement like it used to be.  It sure didn't stop Barack Obama!


We are now more understanding of those with differing sexual orientations and now see them as real human beings instead of seeing them as "freaks".  We are also becoming more understanding of people with other differences (ie. physical, mental, intellectual) as well.  An example is the campaign against the use of the word "retarded" when mocking things that don't make sense. 

We now starting to understand how dangerous government over-reach is, and are now questioning the "necessity" of using SWAT teams to stop marijuana.  The same is going on when it comes to police having military weapons and government agencies spying on our smartphones and emails.

And with social media, people are now more willing to see the BS behind the usual rhetoric, more willing to question oppression, and less likely to feel they are alone in their traumas. A great example is at  http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2012/08/a-victory-for-internet-age.html



3) Time and Wounds


 People say that time heals all wounds.

Time doesn't do it alone!

You need to let out your frustrations but do it appropriately. You want to do it at the appropriate time, but the appropriate time is hard to find.

Which is why blogs are such a psychological life-saver for many.

I wrote a blog post "Exposed to the Light" a few years ago. It was one of the best things I have ever done in my life.  It was risky (and probably still is)! But because I made it public, the anger was finally allowed to fade only because I put it out there! At this point in time, I pretty much forgive most of the names mentioned in that blog post. That wouldn't have been true if I never wrote it!

I did have a "friend" who felt I shouldn't have written that blog post, that I should've just "let it go". Well, I destroyed his cliches into pieces. But I'm not interested in destroying him as a person. I hope he does well and thrive in the future.

---

But certain things can't be solved with blog posts.

There comes a time you have to write messages to those in your inner circle that have hurt you! Writing those messages is great because you don't have to worry about being interrupted when writing those messages. You can get all your points across.

Even with that, there comes a time where you might have to talk to those people. Even better if it takes place on neutral ground (ie. counseling sessions with a trained professional).


The greatest thing that happened for me this year were the counseling sessions with my parents. I had great resentment towards my parents over some of their past decisions

 (read my earlier blog posts for more info, like this post, this post, part 1 of this post,  part 5 of this post , and part 3 of this post ).

When you're younger, you're not always able to effectively express those resentments. But with those resentments, they can build up over time, even when what you are resentful about it is over. 

But yeah, I wrote letters to my parents about my anger towards their decisions and how it had a negative psychologically effect on me.  What got their attention was how I expressed some of the rage I had.

Then they finally said what I needed to hear for a long time: "Please schedule an appointment with a trained professional. Let us know when and we'll be there!" 

They kept that promise. We had our counseling sessions. I asked them some tough questions and they delivered real answers. I learned about the hard circumstances my parents grew up in and how some of those things traumatized them even today. We all gained a much greater understanding of each other.

We had to get this counseling sessions done this year. We're not getting any younger. My mother has recently retired, my father is retiring in a few years.  I could no longer wait until they face the inevitable decline of old age. Also, I had a few more decades before retirement and I needed to find inner peace before it's too late.

The psychologist in charge of our counseling session is a great human being. He was able to show understanding of all sides without favoring one.  For privacy purposes, I won't mention his name, but I do want to thank him big time.

He also mentioned this song by Crosby,Stills, Nash and Young "Teach Your Children"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QimgEmzlbbA  (video with lyrics)

The song is about how it's difficult for parents & children to understand each other's circumstances.
The song has a very emotional meaning to me considering the circumstances discussed during the counseling sessions.


My parents may not have made the best decisions while raising me. My parents may have overlooked various warning signs that made things worse for me.

But I do know this - they do love me and have been doing so throughout all 34 years of my life!