People usually advise that you not call out people for actions or statements they made a year or more ago! The mentality behind such advise is "let the past go, nothing good will come of it". But actually, some good does come out of it.
Because in real life, if I "call out" someone for "old" statements or action, if done right, we actually come to a greater understanding of each other and a great relief comes that would NOT have come if I just kept quiet and "let the past go"
I'm not saying "let's all restart old beefs and keep all grudges", just that if something bothers you, start a discussion even if it's a year or decade late. Doing so is the best way to melt grudges and misunderstandings!
Plus, the late "call outs" might be better in that when some time has passed that both sides had time to think about what happened or what was said, whereas if time didn't pass, people might not had enough time to process in their mind!
Yes, this had something to do with an online conversation that happened today where I "called out" someone for past comments, and yes that "call out" did lead to discussion where both side came to a greater understanding. I feel a great sense of relief now!
The details of the conversation are NOT the most important point of this blog post, so I won't release any more details!
I'm sure someone is now about to say "Pablo, someone is going to call you out for something you did or said in the past"
I have to be mentally prepared for that!
I do need to be held accountable!
Is being held accountable for past actions/statements an uncomfortable feeling?
Of course, but sometimes, we have to go through that type of uncomfortable experience.
The best thing to do in such situations is to admit what you said and did and more importantly, talk about what have you learned since then! Apologies would be nice too!
The other person in the online conversation did state what he/she (i'm not stating the gender to protect privacy) learned since the original offense. I was very impressed :)
===========
Enough of that online conversation, but I bring this up because I had problems with my parent's decisions while I was growing up! Those decisions did have a negative effect on me and my parents were defensive at the time (note to self: I have such defensive tendencies too)
Well, over the years, I wrote letters to them explaining how it felt, and eventually we went to counseling.
Was it painful for my parents to hear about my anger about their decisions! Super-Mega Definitely!
But you know what? Through this process, we gained a much great understanding of each other!
With the counseling sessions, my parents gained a greater understanding of me, and I gained a greater understanding of my parents, what they went through and their thought process when they made their decisions that hurt me!
It doesn't mean their decisions were great decisions, but I did gain an understanding of why it happened, and that if I was in their situation that I might be tempted to make the same decisions too!
Then the psychologist at the counseling session mentioned this song by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young "Teach Your Children", which is about misunderstandings between parents & children
Lyrics at http://www.metrolyrics.com/teach-your-children-lyrics-crosby-stills-nash.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuBGEoxbFN4
A great song that many can sure relate to!
