This past Easter, I found out a friend of a relative has gotten dementia.
Even though she wasn't related by DNA, she was a part of many family gatherings. So much so that I had a lot of conversations with her.
She was a sports fan (and a major UH fan), so we had plenty of conversations about UH football. She even gave me free tickets to a few games. It was even funny when she trash-talked about scandals involving UH opponents. We also talked about the news too!
I also met her family (even visited her daughter's house when she was living on the Big Island) and her one-time "boyfriend" (she claimed he was "just a friend".... but you know it goes).
However, I haven't seen her in years.
Now I know why.
She can't even be by herself. Not only does she forgets things, her ability to control herself has declined! She now has temper tantrums, called the cops over a car that wasn't even stolen, has escaped from a hospital, and is disoriented. Her daughter is taking care of her while still working 2 jobs with no day off! The family has yet to find a day-care home for her!
While she is still alive (in a physical sense), the person I once knew is gone! How do you mourn someone who is gone mentally but still alive physically? How do you deal with missing someone you once had interesting conversations with, but still glad that you're not the one taking care of her now that she's in such bad mental shape?
There's no easy answers to any of this, but I hope she gets into a 24-hour care facility soon!
(note: I didn't mention names nor did I mention which relative she was close friends with. Some reading this might possibly know who I'm talking about, but please note that blog post wasn't written to invade privacy but to educate people about how a person's mental decline can affect his/her family/friends.
