What do you tell a bunch of elementary school students that are about to transition to middle school?
Would you sugar-coat it and act as if everything will be OK?
Would you tell them nothing but horror stories as if nothing will be OK?
Or would you just say nothing and let them figure it out themselves?
The reason I am asking these questions is because 20 years ago, I was one of those students transitioning from elementary to middle school.
Time to tell it like it is.
1) Elementary School
The first half of 1992, I was completing my final year in elementary school as a 5th grader at Lanakila Elementary School.
It was my favorite year at that school!
Unlike earlier school years, I didn't have much problems with my classmates.
Even though there was still cliques amongst us, there was still a sense of brotherhood among us.
The guys who used to pick on me were now guys who I got along with.
And still remember when I was sitting in the back of my homeroom, next to Oscar and Jeff. Me and Oscar used to tease Jeff the previous year, but in 5th grade, we were all friends. We had fun times talking to each other, one of the funnest times in my life!
I also remember winning the school's Geography Bee (though another student came a close 2nd).
I also remembered the cop from as the DARE program, and the field trip to Camp Pupukea. Fun times.
While the teachers were usually impressed with my academic side, they were irritated by the ridiculous things I would occasionally say in class.
2) My brother's warnings
I would occasionally tell my older brother some of the silly stuff I would say in school.
My brother warned me straight up, that this would also get me in trouble as I get older.
He told me that the way I acted was "more likely to get people laughing AT me, INSTEAD of laughing with me."
My brother also warned me that I better learn how to fight, because the other students will rather watch a fight instead of stop the fight.
I brushed it off with a "whatevers attitude"
Little did I know how right my brother was.
3) Entering middle school
The second half of 1992, I entered Kawananakoa Middle School!
[side note: middle schools were called "intermediate schools" back then. Around 1997, those schools officially became "middle schools"]
Once you enter middle school, you are in a whole new world.
Sure you might make a few friends (some I still talk to this very day).
But you WILL get some new enemies as well.
I know that from experience.
The stuff that my brother warned me about......... was WAY MORE TRUE than I could ever imagine.
For one thing, I started middle school with same crazy sense of humor, saying inappropriate things as I did back in elementary school. WRONG MOVE!
Little did I understand the same humor that worked in elementary school did NOT work in middle school. All it did was earn a few enemies.
I might've gotten away with my earlier silliness if I was one of the tough guys.
I wasn't!
After a while, I just learned to shut up in class, especially if you don't have any friends in that class.
Ironically, that got people who just me asking "why are you so quiet?"
But as the quote goes -- "It's better to be quiet and be thought as a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
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Another reason why I think my brother was right, was that going from elementary to middle school, was that the new students you meet are not used to the way you are.
I mean, back in 5th grade at Lanakila, pretty much everyone was already "used to" the way I was.
But the new ones in middle school weren't.
And going from one school to another, kids usually tried to test each other, either through physical or verbal intimidation.
Well, I rarely passed their tests!
It was only after I was done with 8th grade and ready to go on to high school, that I got so tired of being "tested" by others, that I finally started to take aikido classes and started weight training.
Well, though it hasn't made me into an MMA champ, those things did build some confidence that I became less intimidated by others. And got "tested" less.
Too bad I didn't take those lessons from my brother to heart much earlier.
----
It is this "testing" that cause some kids to either join a gang, become a "lone wolf" who goes all crazy, or become suicidal.
There was the gangsta element in my community. But I wasn't into this drinking or weed smoking stuff. And I was too much of an academic to really fit in that crowd.
But I do look back and I'm still amazed that I didn't become that "lone wolf gone crazy". I guess my optimistic side of me saved my life!
I do put a "brave face" out there, and I don't really like to talk about my personal problems in social settings. While that makes me a much more enjoyable person to be around, it does give others a mistaken impression that "nothing bad happens to that guy"
Some people are different, they want to talk about their personal dramas in conversations. Too much of that drives me crazy.
But yeah, I do understand where those folks are coming from.
You can only hold things in for so long.
Which was why I wrote the controversial blog post "Exposed to the Light" http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2012/03/exposed-to-light.html
There's more stories to tell from my battlefield in middle school (and other phases of life as well)
But this is all I feel like saying now. Stay tuned for future stories.
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PS: to answer the earlier questions, yes tell the kids transitioning from elementary to middle school THE TRUTH! Share my blog post with them, that might wake a few of them up before it's too late!
