Here was a letter sent to the advice columnist at Ka Leo
http://www.kaleo.org/vnews/display.v/ART/2004/03/15/4055112cbbf41?in_archive=1
My boyfriend and I want a baby. We have been together for two and a half years. My boyfriend wants to wait till we're married and financially stable. I am ready to have the baby now. I have cousins and friends who have babies and are younger than me. I really think I'm ready to be a mother and I can't wait till I'm married and stable. Who knows, that might not be for another three or four years. I'm thinking of stopping my birth control so I can have a baby, what do you think? Should I tell my boyfriend about my intentions or surprise him when I get pregnant? I know he'll be happy to be a father.
Senior
Communications
My response: Since you are a communications major, I'll communicate something to you
If you think that by sneakily going off birth control without telling your boyfriend will bring good results - GET A BRAIN! What will result is that your now "gentleman lover" will likely be disillusioned, pissed off at your deception AND decide to become a deadbeat! And if you think situation has never happened before to anyone in this world of 6 Billion people - GET A BRAIN!
Get ready to be screamed at by your boyfriend! I wouldn't condone it, but I would understand his rage!
And you think that you know your man is good parental material after only 2 years of dating? That's too short!
And even if your boyfriend stays loyal, what if he gets killed in an accident? Your financial instability will get WORSE!
A lot of girls thought that by getting pregnant, it will keep the boyfriend from straying! What actually happens is that boyfriend will run away FASTER, and the child will suffer most! And what will become some of those children! Some will have minimum or no guidance, end up running the streets and end up dropping out of school, doing drugs, joining gangs, and being unsuccessful! I know because some of my childhood neighbors are like that!
Of course, not all kids with single parents end up in jail! My oldest brother was born to a single mother, with a dad who ran away from his responsibilities. That brother is now a white collar worker at Bank of Hawaii. But that's because our mom later found a man who was willing help with parental responsibilities, and in the process - create me and my other brother! But other kids aren't so lucky. Just visit Hotel Street or OCCC.
It's just like that one letter to a national advice column, where a girl told her boyfriend that he could leave, she'll take care of his baby on her! He left! Later, that boyfriend got sued for child support from that same woman, who said she didn't realize it will be that hard to raise a child on her own! GET A BRAIN YOU ****** Everyone knows it's hard to raise a child on one's own!
And just listen to songs by 2pac, Eminem, WC and few other rappers who's dads ran away! They are PISSED OFF that their dads ran away! You better think about that before sneakily going off birth control and lying about it to your boyfriend!
