The subject today is this Yale Law Professor who goes by the name of Amy Chua. Earlier this year, her new book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom" has been published and been the subject of much controversy.
In that book, Chua (who is Chinese ancestry, but her family tree zigzags from China through the Phillipines then the US) proudly admits to using vicious name-calling on her kids just because they aren't perfect. She defends it by using her family culture as an excuse. She also defends her barbarity by implying that if you don't viciously insult your kids, it's only because you " are a mega-lenient who lets them play video games all day".
Obviously, those things caused massive outraged, to which Chua reacted by saying "my book is a memoir, not a how-to book" which is a pathetic attempt to shield herself from legit criticism. I mean, dictators and gang leaders write memoirs too! But no one is using this "it was just a memoir nonsense" to shield those dictators or gang leaders from criticism.
Her reasoning is so lame, that it's impossible to write it all on one blog post. Trust me, I've attempted to make drafts on this blog post for 2 months. So I'll write a series of blog posts about it. While some might say "Chua's 15 minutes of fame has passed", those people are totally missing my point. Chua's pathetic reasoning should be met with aggressive criticism. Anything less is cowardly. This issue is way too serious to be ignored!
Plus, mentioning this issue 2 months later is good, in that I had additional time to think the issue through.
-----
So let's start with the part of her book that were highlighted in this following editorial on the Wall Street Journal. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html
Chua:
What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it.
MEGA- NONSENSE!
Sometimes, the fun is in trying something new with a great support system. It could be sports, music, flying kites, art, etc. It is great fun when someone encourages you to try your best in a nice manner.
Where things go downhill is when someone calls you "garbage" when you don't do something perfect. A person can only realistically take so much crap like that! This is why many people who once enjoyed sports, music, etc quit! In too many cases, the adults running these programs are verbally abusive, and that takes the joy of those things. In too many cases, this experience can make the kid grow up into an adult who hates sports, music, math, etc.
Being good at something doesn't guarantee you would enjoy it! In fact, every year, there are many college athletes who quit their sports. I always remember athletes who were rated "All State" in the local papers, get recruited by many colleges, yet get burned out in 1 or 2 years.
If they were "All State" or recruited by multiple colleges, then they were already good at the sport. Otherwise, they would've been ignored by recruiters.
But sometimes, people get burned out by doing the same routine over and over. I even remember reading a story of this former high school athlete from the Big Island who was recruited to play football for a Pac-10 college. You ain't getting recruited by a Pac-10 if you suck! But he quit his college team because he admitted he didn't enjoy the game of football.
Even in the NFL, some of the players don't even enjoy playing the game anymore. They just continue to play because they needed a paycheck.
Also, more proof that Amy Chua's "nothing is fun until you're good at it" is FAR FROM REALITY!
http://letters.salon.com/mwt/feature/2011/01/26/tiger_mom_colbert_report/view/?show=all
Wednesday, January 26, 2011 01:55 PM ET
Nothing is fun unless you're good at it What a sad, limited, drab way of living your life. I'm a horrible singer, but love karaoke. Awful bowler, but still have a blast going and making a damn fool of myself. Can't draw to save my life and love playing Pictionary for that reason. Thank God I had the freedom to say "Meh - not my thing" and move on when I was a kid. It permitted me to focus on true, viable talents rather than beat my head against the wall for what I wasn't so hot at. —Randy G.
(another comment)
Wednesday, January 26, 2011 02:14 PM ET @Randy G,
the same thing jumped out at me The "nothing is fun unless you're good at it" comment also jumped out at me, and in subsequent discussions about Chua's article I had with a friend, who has a toddler son now and already has him in music lessons. My friend wasn't forced but was strongly advised (let's call it) by his parents to persist with violin lessons even though he hated them. After a while, he said, he started deriving a lot of enjoyment out of it, but his description of the process sounded like Stockholm Syndrome to me.
I *love* to cook, its what I do to decompress. But I'm not a chef, and I never will be. In fact, I think the relationship between fun and ability is actually the inverse: because I love to cook, I have slowly become better at it through practice and a few targeted "basics" classes at a local culinary school. You become good at things you enjoy doing, because you do them whenever you get the chance.
—KitchenGirl
Will Amy Chua learn from those commenter's or will she just cover her ears like the narrow-minded person I think she is!
-----------
Chua:
To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences.
That wasn't how Bruno Mars became a star!
In last month's profile of Bruno Mars from the Star Advertiser. http://www.staradvertiser.com/features/20110213_bruno_mars.html
The prodigy never took music or voice lessons. "He just picks up an instrument and figures it out," Hernandez said in a phone interview from Los Angeles, where the Grammys are being held today. The toddler also couldn't get enough of '50's-era "doo-wop" music or Elvis Presley, apparently. Even at that early age he knew enough to operate a VCR and fast-forward videos to the Elvis numbers.
(skipped paragrapsh)
Mars' father, Pete "Dr. Doo-Wop" Hernandez, recalls getting up in the middle of the night and finding his son in the living room watching videos and practicing his moves.
"If there was a particular scene in an Elvis movie or an Elvis concert, he would watch it over and over and practice and practice imitating the moves. He could never get enough practice time," he said.
(skipped paragraphs)
"And the amazing thing was, it was something he wanted. He always wanted to come on stage," Pete Hernandez said Bruno Mars loved to performed, to the point where even his parents were surprised how much he wanted to practice.
That TOTALLY DISPROVE this Chua nonsense of "children never want to work at being excellent". Bruno Mars wanted to work on musical excellence more than anything else! And he got Grammys. How much Grammys did Amy Chua get? ZERO!
To become a true legend has to come from within. Bruno Mars being a great dancer, singer, and song-writer came from within! It was because he had an encouraging support system, plus he wanted to be a star more than anyone else.
Had Bruno Mars had an Amy Chua style parent, he would've learned to hate performing, learned to hate rehearsals, learned to associate the stage with torture instead of fun! Bruno Mars would've lost his drive to be a superstar.
In other words, Bruno Mars is a star BECAUSE he DID NOT have a parent like Amy Chua!
----------
Chua :
Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun
But all this screaming of "garbage" will stick in a human mind a lot longer than any praise that comes afterwards. So yeah, you can call a child "garbage" for making a wrong step in ballet. That will stick in the person mind's for a long time, even if that child gotten a praise later!
Let's put it this way - 29 people are nice to you today, 1 person was rude! At the end of the day, the human mind won't spend much time thinking of the 29 people! This is how the human mind works.
So all the praise the child might get from ballet, might not be enough to overcome the memory of "you made the wrong step, you loser"
------------
Chua:
my father angrily called me "garbage" in our native Hokkien dialect. It worked really well. I felt terrible and deeply ashamed of what I had done. But it didn't damage my self-esteem or anything like that. I knew exactly how highly he thought of me. I didn't actually think I was worthless or feel like a piece of garbage.
This is ass-kissing at it's worse! This is the Stockholm Syndrome, in which the person is so brainwashed by the abuser, that the person starts to make excuses for the abuser. THIS IS DANGEROUS LESSON TO TEACH KIDS!
This is the stuff abusive relationships are made of! If a daughter hears "you're garbage" from her parents, guess what? That daughter will be a perfect recruit for pimps. Pimps LOVE to recruit girls from abusive homes because those girls don't expect anything better from the people around them! Those girls are a lot easier for the pimps to abuse than a girl whose parents encourage self-confidence instead of meek submissiveness! Calling your daughter "garbage" only encourages meek submissiveness, which is EXACTLY WHAT A PIMP WANTS!
------
Chua:
As an adult, I once did the same thing to Sophia, calling her garbage in English when she acted extremely disrespectfully toward me.
Oh, so Chua's a tough lady now, using insults to her daughter. I'd like to see Chua tried using those words to a true ghetto gangsta women on the streets! She wouldn't even last 5 minutes!
And to those who tell "what would know, you're not a parent", I'll just them "what do YOU know, you haven't been a substitute teacher like me"
As a substitute teacher, you have to deal 30-150 students a day! Some with ADD! Some who were drug-infected during their fetal 9 months! Some whose dad is in prison! Some ready to join their neighborhood gang! Some with racist attitudes! Some with anger issues!
I've done this for 6 years, and NEVER did I call any of them names! Sure, I might've yelled at them to show respect! I might've yelled at them to be quiet while I'm explaining today's lesson! I might've yelled at them to stop play-fighting! But NEVER would I call them names!
Once you start resorting to name calling, everyone would forget what happened earlier! Everyone will just remember the name calling! The focus would no longer be on what the kid did to provoke you, it would be on how you reacted to the provoking!
Even the yelling I mentioned earlier could've been toned down in many of those cases. I understand now that you can still be calm when being stern!
-------------
Chua:
Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image.
Yeah, kids with weight issues might be depressed knowing that their peers could get laid easier! yeah, kids with weight issues might be depressed knowing others can run faster and do better in games!
But calling someone a "fatty" is totally un-neccessary! The kid already feel bad about those situations I've just mentioned! There's no need to pile on by calling the kid names! By calling you kid a "fatty", the issue in the kid's mind will no longer just be about weight, appearance or stigma. Now, the major issue would be cruelty from someone who is supposed to be a role model!
That Amy Chua can advocate such cruelty shows that she is a sadistic person who enjoys picking on people who can't fight back! This type of attitude deserves to be met with aggressive criticism.
Again, I'd like to see Amy Chua call a gangsta woman a "fatty". Chua, the so-called "tiger mom" wouldn't even have the guts to try that!
-----------
Chua:
Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best
Of course, most parents of all cultures would LOVE to see their kids get straight A's.
But it's unrealistic to expect your kids to excel at everything! This isn't "setting standards low", it's acknowledging reality.
If Amy Chua is so great at everything, why isn't she playing ball with the big girls of the WNBA! Why isn't Chua competing to be the baddest female fighter of MMA? Is it because Chua is "garbage"? Is it because Chua is only tough to kids who can't fight back? Or is it just that different people have different talents?
Of course, we want kids to learn the basic skills of math and reading. Of course, we want kids to learn the basic facts of science, history and geography. Of course we want our kids to have basic fitness skills!
But kids only have 24 hours in a day, it's impossible to be #1 at everything with such time limitations!
--------
Chua:
They worry about how their children will feel if they fail at something, and they constantly try to reassure their children about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre performance on a test or at a recital. In other words, Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.
Assume strength and not fragility? Be careful what you wish for! In too many cases, kids who were stigmatized for being "too soft" learn to over-compensate!
The Columbine killers were stigmatized as "too sissy to hang with the jocks". But since they didn't have athletic abilities, they over-compensated through murder.
Rapper Tupac Shakur, who grew in the worst ghettoes, was stigmatized as a youth by his peers for liking poetry, taking ballet and being junk at basketball! He over-compensated with adapting a gangsta image and over-reacting violently to those who provoked him! All of this over-shadowed his talents as a rapper, poet, and actor. He was killed at age 25, hours after getting into another fight in a Las Vegas casino.
Many Vietnamese immigrants who came to the US were stigmatized as "too small" and "too sissy" by their European, African, Mexican and Pacific Island peers. Many of those Vietnamese kids over-compensated by starting their own gangs involved in extreme acts of violence ranging from home invasions to drive-by shootings. Many ended up dead or in jail.
Many Salvadoran immigrants who moved to Mexican-American neighborhoods were stigmatized as being "inferior Latinos". Many of those Salvadoran kids over-compensated by starting MS-13, one of the most vicious gangs in the world! This gang, known for chopping off body parts, started by Salvadoran kids tired of being considered "inferiors" and "soft". Many ended up dead or in jail.
This is what happens when adults aren't concerned about their kids' psyches. This is what happens when adults demand strength at way too early an age. Kids being kids, will not deal with their anger and frustration in ideal manner. Kids being kids, can't hold it in and be submissive forever! Kids who are stigmatized can only hold in their rage for so long! Kids who aren't given a legit way to express their frustration will find non-legit ways to do so! They will go nuts and cause damage to themselves and everyone around them!
Remember next time you feel your kids are "too soft". Be careful what you wish for - you just might get it!
-----
Chua:
If a Chinese child gets a B—which would never happen—there would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion. The devastated Chinese mother would then get dozens, maybe hundreds of practice tests and work through them with her child for as long as it takes to get the grade up to an A.
The "If a Chinese child gets a B—which would never happen" is Chua's lame attempt at sarcasm!
This idea that getting a "B" will doom you to a life of being underclass is not only BS, but mega-BS! There's millions of adults out there, who didn't get straight A's, did get B's and C's, who are living successful lives today! It's got NOTHING to do with Chua-style over-reactions after such Bs and Cs! It's just that kids who don't have over-dramatic parents (like Chua) still go on to persevere, and found something they're good at, something they can make their living off of! T
hat's the reality the Amy Chua's ignore on purpose. They have this thought that you're either A) get straight A going to Ivy League or B)get less than straight A's and doomed to ghetto life!
If the Amy Chuas of the world get their fingers out of their ears, they would realize that many of those with 2.0s and 3.0s can still live the middle class life with many of the basic luxuries of modern life!
----------
Chua:
Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them. If their child doesn't get them, the Chinese parent assumes it's because the child didn't work hard enough.
Or sometimes, some people just don't have the ability!
Again, why isn't Chua playing in the WNBA? Why isn't she competing for a black belt? Because she lacks ability, even if she was yelled and screamed at!
Many kids want to be in the NBA! But even with all the coaching, yelling, encouraging, hard-working, etc. MOST will not make it to the NBA!
Sure, in some cases, the wanna-be players got lazy! But in many cases, they worked hard, but they're just not NBA material.
The same is true of many career fields.
Some kids are just not meant to be doctors or engineers, even if they worked hard!
That's OK, there's other fields out there!
----------
Chua:
That's why the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child. The Chinese parent believes that their child will be strong enough to take the shaming and to improve from it.
Again, read some of my previous paragraphs. Real humans can only take so much crap! You demand strength when the child's not ready? You'll get strength later on --- in the worst possible way!
You can learn the Menendez brothers, the 2 infamous brothers with parents of the Amy Chua mentality! The Menendez parents thought their sons should just be "strong enough to take the crap". But the Menendez brothers felt real strength is not putting up with such crap! The Menendez brothers killed their parents!
Let that be a lesson to the parents who think "kids should take the shaming in silence". Kids wont' be kids forever!
(and yeah, since I'm a school employee, I'm also aware that some kids do want revenge on those school employees they feel "abused" them. I'm not immune and neither is any teacher. Which is why all teachers should show their kids respect)
----------
Chua:
Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences. That's why Chinese daughters can't have boyfriends in high school and why Chinese kids can't go to sleepaway camp. It's also why no Chinese kid would ever dare say to their mother, "I got a part in the school play! I'm Villager Number Six. I'll have to stay after school for rehearsal every day from 3:00 to 7:00, and I'll also need a ride on weekends." God help any Chinese kid who tried that one.
This is a sign that Amy Chua is a serious control freak!
It's not the parent's job to micro-manage their kid's interest! You can't expect kids who have the same interests as you just because you scream at them to! It doesn't work in real life!
Kids are not blank slates! They are already wired to gravitate to certain things. This may not bring comfort to Control Freak Parents like Amy Chua! But parents can only control so much, regardless of how much they scream or use words like "garbage".
So if you're a sports junkie, but your kid prefers trying out for theatre -- LET IT GO! You forcing sports on a kid who prefers theatre will only backfire in the long run! Let the kid chose their interest. Most kids won't make it to the NBA or NFL anyways, no matter how much you scream "garbage". If that kid prefers theatre instead, LET THEM! Who knows, maybe that kid, with the right amount of coaching and encouragement,might grow up to win an Oscar or a Tony award!
-----------
Chua:
Here's a story in favor of coercion, Chinese-style. Lulu was about 7, still playing two instruments, and working on a piano piece called "The Little White Donkey" by the French composer Jacques Ibert. The piece is really cute—you can just imagine a little donkey ambling along a country road with its master—but it's also incredibly difficult for young players because the two hands have to keep schizophrenically different rhythms.
Lulu couldn't do it. We worked on it nonstop for a week, drilling each of her hands separately, over and over. But whenever we tried putting the hands together, one always morphed into the other, and everything fell apart. Finally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in exasperation that she was giving up and stomped off.
Chua then goes to describe her verbally abusive methods to make her child submit to playing that song!
Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed and kicked. She grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds. I taped the score back together and encased it in a plastic shield so that it could never be destroyed again. Then I hauled Lulu's dollhouse to the car and told her I'd donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn't have "The Little White Donkey" perfect by the next day. When Lulu said, "I thought you were going to the Salvation Army, why are you still here?" I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was secretly afraid she couldn't do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic.
Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu—which I wasn't even doing, I was just motivating her—and that he didn't think threatening Lulu was helpful
I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts.
Read that again! Notice the lack of remorse from Amy Chua! Notice that she goes bezerk and threaten her with no food, no water, no bathroom breaks. If you are not disgusted by what Amy Chua is describing without remorse, then you are a truly sick, cruel person! You have no feelings for others, and are dangerous to be around!
Denying water breaks and bathroom breaks can have serious health consequences. Chua is training her kids to accept dehydration and urinary tract infections.
Also, all this over-reaction from Amy Chua over a piano lesson! Amy Chua, the control freak, acts as if playing the piano is so important to her child's life. IT IS NOT !
There's plenty of people out there who aren't skilled at playing musical instruments. Most of them didn't end up in poverty, they just found other talents to develop, use those talents to make a living! They didn't find those talents by having an Amy Chua screaming at them 24/7 over not being 110%! They found those talents by being free to explore various interests and eventually finding one that matches them!
----------
Chua: "Mommy, look—it's easy!" After that, she wanted to play the piece over and over and wouldn't leave the piano. That night, she came to sleep in my bed, and we snuggled and hugged, cracking each other up. When she performed "The Little White Donkey" at a recital a few weeks later, parents came up to me and said, "What a perfect piece for Lulu—it's so spunky and so her." Even Jed gave me credit for that one.
So that kid did do well after you verbally abused her? So the ends justified the means? That's the mentality of tyrants like Fidel Castro. He brags about his social projects, as if that erases his acts of massive torture towards political opponents! Yet, we wonder why tons of Cubans leave their homeland on life rafts?
Let's put it this way, let's say I hit a kid with a chair! Let's say that kid grew up to be a scientist. Does that mean we should hit more kids with a chair?
Correlation does NOT mean causation! The kid who became a scientist, didnt get it by being hit with a chair! Chua's kid didn't excel because her mom screamed the crap out of her! In fact, Chua's kid might've excelled faster if Chua just eased up a little!
Also, screaming for better results only has short-term results! Yeah, lot of parents scream at their kids for not winning the Little League games! That might have short-term results, but in the long-term, that's what get kids burned out! Even the ones who get recruited by college teams. Every year, there's always a few athletes who quit their college teams. They were good enough to play at the college level. But all they all get burned out after years of being pushed into something they have no true interest in! They might've be good enough to play the game, but their heart wasn't in it! It was all just to satisfy sadistic control-freak parents with unrealistic expectations.
The ones who do excel and go on the pros were the ones whose motivations were from within. Sure, they might've had coaches who had strenuous practices. But that's not the main reason the players stuck with it and excelled. The players who stuck with it and excelled did so because they were the ones who LOVED to practice! They were motivated from within.
Just like what I mentioned about Bruno Mars. He was motivated from within to practice and rehearse! He had inner enthusiasm. He didn't need an Amy Chua to call him "garbage" for getting a note wrong!
If he did get an Amy Chua, he probably would've growned to hate rehearsals, and gave up music forever!
------
Chua: lot about their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.
And that could go A LOT MORE SMOOTHLY if the parent's refrain from using words like "garbage"!
Look, I worked as a substitute teacher! I deal with kids with lazy tendencies all the time! Some want to give up before even starting the assignments.
The Amy Chua method would only get short-term results (ie. kid does some work, but quit later). But true perseverance isn't helped by calling kids "garbage"! True perseverance isn't promoted by screaming "1+1 isn't 5 you dummy". True perseverance is promoted by saying in a calm voice "the answer to that problem is different, try again and don't give up".
You see, the Amy Chuas of the world only understand intimidation! Their parents ruled through intimidation, and they interact with others through intimidation. But intimidation only works in the short-run! Calm inspiration works in the long run. Someone telling you to do something in a calm, inspiring voice does a MILLION TIMES MORE WONDERS in helping people succeed than hearing someone saying "you did it wrong you piece of trash".
There's millions of teacher, employers and other mentors who inspire excellence through the use of calm encouragement everyday! That might not get TV ratings (which is why you rarely see it on TV) but is what helped me and millions of others to do things they once thought it was impossible.
I've always appreciated teachers, mentors and employers who have not only expected great achievements from me, but used patience instead of humiliation to help me. I'm thinking of my favorite teachers like Mr Nagahisa, Mr Chee, Mr Newkirk, and Ms Tamura. I'm thinking about supervisors like Christel Olsen, Daniel Nitta, Bryant Bernardo, Nani Hee, Vince DeBina, Miles Ogawa, Rebecca Woodland and Jeff Shitaoka.
(notice that many of them have Asian last names, so Chua and her fans have ZERO excuse to throw the race card at me)
It is an extreme tragedy that Amy Chua doesn't know about these examples. She wasn't exposed to it at home, and she obviously isn't going to see it portrayed on TV and movies since media companies make more money by showing example of parents, bosses and other mentors go nuts! After all, the media companies are about promoting entertainment, not true reality!
But Amy Chua could easily visit millions of schools, workplaces, etc where the mentors use a calm encouraging voice. But then again, Amy Chua is so narrow-minded that she'll probably shut her ears to any examples that prove her wrong!
---------
Chua:
There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids' true interests. For their part, many Chinese secretly believe that they care more about their children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners, who seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly. I think it's a misunderstanding on both sides. All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.
Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.
Chua wrote that crap knowing that most people would be too afraid of the race card to criticize her methods. They're afraid of being called a racist for pointing out that Amy Chua is a sadistic, control freak who thinks she so tough to insult her kids for not getting A+, but too afraid to say it to the face of any average person out on the streets. Amy Chua is a bully who only picks on those who can't fight back!
I will explore this issue of the race card in my next blog! Stay tuned!
======
PS:
There's nothing worse than to be mean to someone who is still learning new skills!
To use vicious insults on someone learning a new skill is about as brave and barbaric as someone who starts fights with the physically disabled! That person learning a new skill already feels bad, shy and insecure about not being good at that skill! This is the time you need to be the most calm and patient person in the world.
If you can be calm and patient with that person, that person will always love and honor you forever! That's how I feel about my favorite teachers and supervisors! And that's how I hope my students will feel about me too!
