Bad news and paranoia

The media's main priority is ratings and clicks. Get people watching! Get them watching so that they can attract more advertising revenue! 

People are attracted to conflicts and disasters. Everybody wants to know the latest scoops. Because real investigations are time consuming, the news media makes up for it by discussing conspiracy theories, just to keep people watching!

Gun violence has decreased over the last 2 decades.   That's right, decreased!

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/05/07/gun-homicide-rate-down-49-since-1993-peak-public-unaware/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/12/03/weve-had-a-massive-decline-in-gun-violence-in-the-united-states-heres-why/?utm_term=.c2c3ce659360

https://reason.com/blog/2017/10/03/this-is-the-time-to-defend-the-second-am 


Hard to believe it when the news media just keeps showing images from the latest shooting! 

To the media, telling people shootings have decreased doesn't bring ratings or advertising revenue! Telling people the latest scoops about the latest shooting bring ratings and advertising revenue!

And because of this, there are many on social media who act as if there are no regulations on buying guns, even though they are plenty in existence.  

The media also brings the latest news in racial conflict!  Whether it's the latest outrageous statement by a politician, or an overly aggressive police officer killing someone, that brings ratings!

And if there isn't enough of that, make up a controversy! Broadcast a clip of a "woke" SJW lunatic complaining about Bruno Mars "stealing black culture" nevermind that other people in the same room (overwhelmingly African-American) defended Bruno Mars. 

Or in the case of right-wing media, keep broadcasting the last crime committed by an illegal immigrant, NEVERMIND that illegal immigration has already decreased YEARS BEFORE Trump got elected!  Mexican immigration was already decreasing a decade ago!  

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/shrinking-problem-illegal-immigration-from-mexico
 
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/01/27/even-before-trump-more-mexicans-were-leaving-the-us-than-arriving/?utm_term=.894c3efd0d4a

http://www.pewhispanic.org/2015/11/19/more-mexicans-leaving-than-coming-to-the-u-s/  


Also, immigrants commit violent crimes at lower rates than non-immigrants. 

 http://townhall.com/columnists/stevechapman/2015/07/05/trump-and-the-myth-of-immigrant-crime-n2020695/page/full

http://townhall.com/columnists/monacharen/2015/07/10/the-democrats-trump-card-n2023530/page/full


But why mention that? You can get more ratings (and advertising revenue) by repeating details of the latest crime committed by an immigrant! Scaring people brings in the viewers and the money. 


=============
 Back in 2015, I responded to an article on Salon by Priscilla Ward, an African-American who was homeschooled, and now having hard time fitting into European-American environments.  The problems she described wasn't racial slurs or threats  It was just  (omg..........no) having different pop culture interests, different slang phrases, and different dietary habits.

I mentioned that I too have faced culture shock, especially with me being "different" from my peers. But I also mentioned that culture shock is just a part of life that you can handle like a mature confident adult.

I wrote on it at http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2015/01/you-need-to-be-able-to-adjust-to.html


Fast forward to 2017, and Ms Ward admits that the media has made her too paranoid on race relations 

 https://www.salon.com/2017/10/26/how-racism-became-our-zeitgeist/

When I run out of normal get to know you small talk, it’s easy to bring up racial injustice. It’s like a broken alarm clock in me that can’t be turned off, unless I’m on vacation someplace and don’t have access to the constant news cycle or social media. Instead, the alarm goes off every day, creating a ritual of how I’m supposed to see the world, my place and whom I’m meant to do life with. I wake up, scroll through Twitter, check the front page of news websites and watch viral clips. Every time I pick up my phone, I’m notified of a divisive statement by Trump, natural disaster, sexual assault or the black community’s encounter with the police. It has rebranded so much of my thinking, twisted and perverted it over the last couple of years. 

Ms Ward mentions that all the online news outlet, plus social media having nonstop coverage of the latest outrage

The turning point of my thinking belongs to the night Darren Wilson, the officer who murdered Michael Brown, was acquitted. More and more instances of police brutality began to go viral after this, creating what seemed like a thoughtful argument for why media should begin shifting their attention more heavily to issues facing the black community. As a media professional, to me it was clear that it all boiled down to ratings, metrics and Google trends.

Post Ferguson websites such as Mic.com, Huffington Post Black Voices and Youngist.org weren’t the only ones I turned to for their take on issues concerning the black millennial experience. Now I could go almost anywhere and find the latest news on race. It was now at the forefront — a dangerous display of black trauma, looping videos of black death could be found everywhere and protest felt routine

From that point on, the ugly, the sinister, the impacts of racism have held my attention in a binge-worthy way. Black trauma and pain reverberates in and through me. Trayvon Martin. Michael Brown. Eric Gardner. Sandra Bland. Kalief Browder. DeAndre Harris.

All of these news, according to Priscilla Ward, have made her paranoid about "white people".

But wait a minute....... her parents (obviously African-American) thinks she's getting too paranoid about racism

After a while, these conversations get old and redundant. I know they do, when I listen to myself. “Don’t you have something more uplifting to talk about?” My parents ask constantly. Whenever they asked this, I wonder why they aren’t joining in the conversation. Weren't they children of the 1960s, impacted by race rioting following the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr.? Didn’t they live through Rodney King, Prince Jones, and a seemingly endless list of people taken by a system the devalues black life? They tell me prayer is the only solution, but let’s be honest, distancing myself from white people has felt like a work of self preservation more often than not. The media has influenced my opinion, alerting me that I should keep a safe distance from white men in khakis toting torches, white men in uniform and emo looking white boys that favor Dylann Roof.

I can’t imagine myself not bringing up race. I wish my memory could serve me well. My mother was raised in Queens, NY and my father in Columbus, GA. But the era and cultural climate in which they were raised doesn’t seem to define their approach to life now and how they choose to see people. My parents didn’t raise me to make a case for war against whiteness.

After recycling the same dialogue and feeling less and less hopeful, and now that Trump exhaustion has set in, their question to me is finally starting to click, although I still constantly find myself giving in to conversations that only end up pointing the finger at white people. But my background is much more nuanced than this -- it was never just black and white. But lately I’ve sheepishly brought in so many ideas from mainstream media without personal exploration or consideration.

My parents have always done the work of making sure I had a diversity of friends and opportunities that didn’t fit into the framework of stereotypical black life. I’m black, Christian and I have friends that reflect Martin Luther King’s Dream.

 If all you hear about "the other" is what the news media tells you, you are afraid of "the other".

Those who just consume right-wing media are brainwashed to think Latinos and Muslims are scary people out to destroy "our" white utopia.

Meanwhile, those consumed with SJW media outlets are brainwashed to think that "whites" out to either kill you or annoy you with "tiny aggressions" (there's a reason I don't use the word "microaggressions"  http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2016/04/racial-irritations-and-tiny-aggressions.html)


Meanwhile, Barack Obama grew up with a mostly European-American family. He knew what it's like to feel a sincere love from European-Americans from childhood. Even if he later said that some of their comments "made him cringe", he understood it was coming from ignorance and not malice!  Obama did grow up in Hawaii, where though he felt stereotyped and misunderstood by his mostly non-black peers, he wasn't exposed to the level of hatred that was common in Alabama or Mississippi.

It was also a similar experience for Trevor Noah, who grew up in South Africa with a Xhosa mother and a European-descendant father. Even as he grew up in the last decade of apartheid, he knew what it was like to feel a sincere love from a "white" family.

This issue was discussed when author Ta-Nehisi Coates came to Noah's "Daily Show". 
http://www.cc.com/video-clips/vbyz5z/the-daily-show-with-trevor-noah-exclusive---ta-nehisi-coates-extended-interview

Mr Coates mentioned that for many African-Americans who live a segregated experience, they never had the opportunity to receive sincere love from European-Americans growing up, and much of their experience with "white people" is more negative.

Being that Obama was kinda/sorta "sheltered", he wasn't scared to engage with European-Americans when he campaigned in the rural Midwest, because to him, they literally reminded him of people in his family.  Mr Coates mentioned that's not something many African-Americans can relate to! 

Being able to relate to others might not come easily to some people.

However, being critical about how the news media exaggerates conflicts and bad news is a skill that you can develop.

Understand that the media corporations are looking out for themselves more than they are looking out for you.

While I will NEVER suggest that you totally isolate yourself from the news media or social media, I will definitely suggest coming out of your home, and walk around.  Go to malls, go to parks, go to restaurants, ride the bus, ride the bike. When you do that, you can interact with people without trying too hard to be an extrovert. You'll start to realize that the people you consider "The Other" are not so scary! You'll notice a lot of good around you.

It won't erase all your problems but developing some optimism would do wonders for your mental health.

Dan Inouye was a Rapist

Dan Inouye has long been seen as a "demigod", being that people are in a rush to give his name to airports, schools, telescopes, roads and buildings.

To many, he can do no wrong

Finally, a local politician came out to express that Dan Inouye did something wrong! Really wrong!

Kaniela Ing, currently a state legislator who is running for a seat in U.S. Congress had this tweet

Kaniela Ing‏ @KanielaIng Mar 9

In order for sexual violence to end, men need to know they can no longer get away with it. But when we name an airport after an alleged serial rapist, we show them that they can. #TimesUp DKI International Airport

And there's the link to a Civil Beat article by Denby Fawcett

"Would Dan Inouye Have Survived 1992 Sex Allegations Today"
http://www.civilbeat.org/2017/11/denby-fawcett-would-dan-inouye-have-survived-1992-sex-allegations-today/


I also had a blog post about the issue

comments on #metoo (Al Franken and Dan Inouye edition) 

http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2018/02/comments-on-metoo-al-franken-and-dan.html 

And now I have a video presentation to go with it, titled "Dan Inouye Was A Rapist

Here's the video

"Dan Inouye was a Rapist"

https://youtu.be/C1fyXrsODhE

And here are what I wrote for the video descriptions

Dan Inouye was a  US Senator from Hawaii with an inspiring story and has been treated like a "god", "demigod" and a "saint" by many here. There are many places in Hawaii named (and renamed) after him, including an airport, telescope, schools, roads and buildings.

However, there are also disturbing allegations. 

(EXPLICIT DESCRIPTIONS AHEAD) According to Lenore Kwock, when she entered Dan Inouye's room, he pounced on her, forced her clothes off, wouldn't take no for an answer and she gave in out of fear.

She went public in 1992 (when social media didn't exist yet). Only one local politician (state legislator Annelle Amaral) publicly criticized Dan Inouye! The rest (including so-called "strong women". feminist politicians) were SILENT! The issue was quickly forgotten, though occasionally mentioned in local gossip (which mostly focused on the groping allegation, more than the rape).

The issue became public again in 2017, when the #metoo movement exposed powerful politicians and executives who were sexually abusive. Dan Inouye was already dead, so he was lucky that he wasn't pressured to resign by the #metoo movement. However, Civil Beat ran an article by Denby Fawcett titled "Would Dan Inouye Have Survived 1992 Sex Allegations Today", an article that taught a new generation about the disturbing side of Dan Inouye!

Hawaii currently has 4 reps in US Congress (Brian Schatz, Colleen Hanabusa, Tulsi Gabbard, Mazie Hirono), all of whom publicly present themselves as "progressive feminists", yet all of whom are silent about these disturbing allegations about their "saint" Dan  Inouye

 

popularity of the NFL

The NFL has long been America's favorite sports league, with ratings far and above baseball (which used to be America's favorite sport) and basketball!

The NFL had it all!  There was all the collisions, but also the strategies. There was finesse from the QBs and the ball carriers as they attempted to avoid getting tackled by really large guys coming at them at really high speeds.

NFL broadcasts were even the highest rated TV shows of the week, with the Super Bowl being the top-viewed show of the year (though, we have to be real about this: most of the viewers just watched it for the commercials).

But what comes up must come down.

The NFL has been declining the last 2 years.

Part of it was from fans who felt guilty about watching players taking brutal hits to the head, now that society is becoming more aware of what concussions have done to the players long after they retired. 

Part of it was from fans tired of seeing players who were arrested for violent crimes coming back to the field and gain more athletic glory.

And then, Colin Kaepernick had his on-field protest against the national anthem.  His kneeling did offend US Americans who feel that the national anthem is sacred. However, his protest did reflect how many African-Americans feel about how this country has mistreated them, and also that the very conservative fanbase might be cheering for African-Americans who make touchdowns for their team, but not cheering for them when they protest against abusive policing and other forms of anti-black racism.

The NFL does have a more politically conservative fanbase as compared to the NBA, but even the more liberal cities like Seattle and San Francisco has very rabid fanbases for their local teams.   Among my facebook friends, the 49ers are the most popular team, and SeaHawks might be the most 2nd popular. There's no way those teams could ever have right-wing conservatives being the majority in their stadiums. I've known a few left-wing activists who are fans of those teams, wear their colors and even attend their road games. 

Also, add to that, the Raiders have been a favorite among African-Americans and Latinos in the West Coast, and among them are some really hardcore activists against abusive policing, gentrification and other ills that affect their communities.  The team might change host cities every other decade, but they'll probably never be a favorite of right-wing conservatives.

Even with such hardcore fanbases, California residents are tired of having their tax money being used to build stadiums for teams owned by billionaires.  For a long time, LA survived without a NFL team after the Raiders left. After all, LA already had 2 major college teams USC and UCLA

LA politicians were able to get the Rams back from Saint Louis. The Raiders took their time to think through their options. Meanwhile, San Diego taxpayers didn't want their taxes used to build a new stadium for the Chargers, who then left for LA. Oakland residents also didn't want their taxes used to build a new stadium for their beloved Raiders so they are leaving for Las Vegas.

==========

I think the trend will be that more taxpayers will rebel against having their money being used to build stadiums for teams owned by billionaires. 

Meanwhile, the general public have more entertainment options than they had a few decades ago. Football now has more competition for viewers.

And with more parents not allowing their children to play the game due to concussion concerns, there will be more high schools that won't have enough players for a team. For those attending such high schools, going to games is just not going to be a part of their high school experience.  

With fewer kids playing or watching the game in high school, there will be fewer fans for football as those kids become adults.  The decline will continue.

I don't think American football will ever go away completely. Baseball didn't go away even its popularity declined when the NFL became more popular. Boxing has declined in popularity over the last few decades, but it still has its devoted fans. However, most of the combat sports fans have moved on to mixed martial arts.  

As the recent Olympics have shown, people love to watch Chloe Kim and Shaun White risk severe injury as they make their death-defying moves on their snowboards.

So I don't think we'll evolve away from daredevil sports anytime soon.

It's just that the NFL has hit its peak already.

Winter Olympics 2018

I haven't watched much from the Winter Olympics except for a few highlights.

But as usual, I tend to comment more on the sociological aspects of sports than the actual games themselves.

Here are a few thoughts

North/South Korea tensions

That this Olympics was to be held in PyeongChang, South Korea (not to be confused with Pyongyang, North Korean, where one Olympic official flew to by mistake), which is not very far from the very-militarized border made for an interesting choice.

North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un is always threatening to use nuclear weapons against real or perceived enemies, bringing worries that he would destroy South Korea into a nuclear wasteland.

There was also a war of words between Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump, raising even more tensions.

And in the middle of the Pacific, a state emergency worker accidentally pressed the missile alert that was to be sent to all mobile phones in Hawaii, causing massive panic this past January.

However, even the worst dictators know when to be strategic and pull back, as  when Kim Jong Un allowed North Korean athletes, cheerleaders and more attend the Winter Olympics in South Korea. Unfortunately, they were followed by North Korean security officials who kept them isolated from the rest of the Olympic community.

But even with that, it did prove true to the cliche that the Olympics is a time when all the countries put their tensions aside and allow the athletes to compete

The athletes from both Koreas even marched together in the Opening Ceremonies.
https://www.salon.com/2018/02/09/north-korea-and-south-korea-march-together-at-olympics-opening-ceremony-as-tensions-continue/?source=newsletter

-- worker conditions

Winning an Olympic now means the town has to build some new facilities in time for the games to start. 

Sometimes, that means workers have to be imported. Sadly, that means that it was an opportunity for corrupt employers to abuse what they view as "cheap and pimpable" labor

https://www.thenation.com/article/winter-olympic-roundup-new-athletic-heroes-alongside-the-same-old-grifts/

For starters, as with previous Olympics, the Pyeongchang Games were run on the backs of a labor force of exploited workers. One German media outlet reported that of the 15,000 “volunteers,” more than 2,000 had quit because of squalid living conditions, tiny portions of sub-par food, and an absence of work breaks. It wasn’t unheard of for 10 volunteers to be crammed into a room built for four. Dozens of petitions were filed with South Korean President Moon Jae-in, complaining that working and living conditions “are unbelievably inadequate.” One volunteer said, “When I think about how much money is being spent here, I wonder why we do not get paid at all.”

Speaking of money, there’s the International Olympic Committee, whose members parachuted into Pyeongchang, enjoyed five-star treatment, and then jetted home. The IOC reportedly has around $1 billion in its coffers. Not paying people for their labor saves each Olympics millions. In Rio, where 70,000 “volunteers” were sought out, conservative estimates put savings at more than $100 million. It’s ugly as sin; the only thing changing is the languages that foremen use to berate these uncompensated laborers. 

Sadly, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) doesn't do anything to  ensure that all the contractors are providing basic worker's rights

 Diversity

Granted, those who live where there is snow would be more likely to become Winter Olympic athletes. Places that have snow tend to have lighter-skinned people.

So it's no surprise that there is less diversity among Winter Olympic athletes as compared to Summer Olympic athletes.

However, as the 1988 Jamaican bobsled team shows (as well as the movie based on their story "Cool Runnings"), even those from the tropics can join the winter fun too! 

This year, we had a bobsled team from Nigeria

https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/31/africa/nigeria-bobsled-team-winter-olympics/index.html

There was also a skeleton (sort of like an individual version of bobsled) athlete from Ghana
http://www.bbc.com/sport/winter-olympics/42694188


from the United Arab Emirates, there was Zahra Lari, a figure skater who has led the movement to allow fellow skaters to wear a hijab on the ice
https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/zahra-lari-pg-procter-gamble-loveoverbias/


And from the Pacific, Pita Taufatofua, the Tongan taekwondo fighter who was the heartthrob of the Summer Olympics came to the Winter Olympics as a cross country skier!  Obviously, a man of many talents.


However, even places with snow have descendants of immigrants from more tropical places.  The USA has long been noted for its diversity, but there is less diversity among its Winter athletes as compared to its Summer athletes.

However, there has been an increase of non-white athletes for the USA Winter Olympics team, with a few more of African & Asian ancestries than before.

Sadly, in the era of Donald Trump, the basket of deplorables are making their disgust towards diversity known, as Fox News editor John Moody claiming that the nonwhite athletes were there to fulfill a diversity quota

https://www.salon.com/2018/02/09/fox-news-executive-blasts-darker-gayer-u-s-olympic-team-in-bigoted-rant/?source=newsletter

In the now-deleted piece, Moody alleges that the U.S. Olympic Committee would like to replace its modus operandi of pursuing victory with pursuing inclusion even at the cost of medals. "Unless it’s changed overnight," Moody wrote, "the motto of the Olympics, since 1894, has been 'Faster, Higher, Stronger.'" He continued, "It appears the U.S. Olympic Committee would like to change that to 'Darker, Gayer, Different.' If your goal is to win medals, that won’t work."

Moody noted that a USOC official expressed pride in an interview with the Washington Post "about taking the most diverse U.S. squad ever to the Winter Olympics. That was followed by a, frankly, embarrassing laundry list of how many African-Americans, Asians and openly gay athletes are on this year’s U.S. team." He added, "No sport that we are aware of awards points – or medals – for skin color or sexual orientation."

Moody continued, asking if this year's athletes were "selected because they're the best at what they do, or because they're the best publicity for our current obsession with having one each from Column A, B and C?" After mentioning the achievements of Jackie Robinson, Jeremy Lin and the 1993 film "Cool Runnings," he said that, "Insisting that sports bow to political correctness by assigning teams quotas for race, religion or sexuality is like saying that professional basketball goals will be worth four points if achieved by a minority in that sport – white guys, for instance –  instead of the two or three points awarded to black players, who make up 81 percent of the NBA. Any plans to fix that disparity? Didn’t think so." 

 In his opinion, "Faster, Higher, Stronger" is a better slogan than, "We will win because we're different," precisely because, "complaining that every team isn't a rainbow of political correctness defeats the purpose of sports, which is a competition. At the Olympic level, not everyone is a winner."

After Moody's column provoked a massive online backlash, Fox News removed it from its website.

“John Moody’s column does not reflect the views or values of FOX News and has been removed,” a network spokeswoman said.

Currently, there are no quotas or any race-based selection at play in the formation of any of the U.S. Olympic teams, even if diversity seems to be a goal in many of their development programs and new bulwarks against discrimination have been added. Instead, it appears Moody's op-ed triggered by the quotes in the Post article alone.

The article begins, "The U.S. Olympic Committee says it’s taking its most diverse team ever to a Winter Games, an impressive and deserved boast that requires a caveat of sorts." It continues to describe the various programs the USOC has been using to make the team more representative of the nation. Repeatedly, diversity is called "No. 1, it’s a priority, and, No. 2," but it's clear that none of it comes at the cost of winning.

The 2018 U.S. winter team includes more African American and Asian American athletes than in previous years, as well as the first two publicly out male athletes to compete four the country in the winter teams. The inclusion of two openly gay male Olympians is particularly significant and, perhaps, a direct outcome of the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi, Russia, after which the Olympic Charter added sexual orientation to Principle 6, the Olympic Charter's nondiscrimination clause.

That said, Team USA totals 243 athletes, 10 black, 10 Asian and the rest "predominantly white" according to the Post. The largest team any nation has ever sent to the winter event, the U.S. squad  may be historically diverse, but it is also overwhelmingly white and straight.

From the comment thread for this article, one commenter noted this

What an idiot. These athletes are all (with the exception of maybe hockey) selected by competitive elimination tournaments. You don't have the time or the scores, you don't get on the team. Jackass. 

Meanwhile, Jordan Greenway, the first African-American member of the USA Olympic ice hockey team has this to say

"It kind of feels like an inspiration, trying to get more African Americans like me trying to play hockey, not falling into stereotypes of playing football, basketball. . . . Obviously, there’s not a ton of African Americans playing hockey. It’s worked out great for me. I’ve had a great experience with it. I hope kids see that it’s good to play hockey, too."

-Chloe Kim

speaking of diversity in USA Winter Olympics team, there is Chloe Kim, the snowboarder whose parents came from South Korea, which happens to be the host of this Winter Olympics.

It must be a surreal experience to be in your parent's homeland while competing with the world's best athletes. Plus, to win a gold medal at 17!

As long as injuries don't get in the way, it would be a great start to what could become a great athletic career.

Kim has also become a social media sensation not only for her snowboarding highlights, but also for her telegenic personality when it comes to TV interview.

However, with celebrity, also comes the creepy fans.

One was a now former radio host Patrick Connor

https://www.the-pool.com/news-views/opinion/2018/8/Yomi-Adegoke-Chloe-Kim-Radio-Host-18th-Birthday-Countdown-Clock

Unlike most people, whose responses ranged between parental and at times even patronising, radio host Patrick Connor’s response to her juvenile nature was to wonder aloud – and on-air – when having sex with her would no longer constitute statutory rape.

“She’s fine as hell,” Connor said to a co-host. “If she was 18, you wouldn’t be ashamed to say that she’s a little hot piece of ass. And she is. She is adorable. I’m a huge Chloe Kim fan… Her 18th birthday is 23 April, and the countdown is on baby.” 

The “countdown” Connor speaks of is both figurative and literal – the practise of creating websites to count down the moments until a young female celebrity reaches “adulthood” is as old as the internet.  

To all the heterosexual males out there, calling a teenage girl "a hot piece of ass" is just creepy!  It's not flattering, regardless of how loud your friend's laughter are when you talk like that! 

You can appreciate a girl's cuteness without being vulgar like that!

As for countdown until she becomes "legal", just keep that to yourself!  

Patrick Connor learned that the hard way, and he is now fired! 


-- Shaun White

Chloe Kim is the next star in a sport in which Shaun White became the first major star.

Shaun White was a teen sensation earlier this sensation known as the "Flying Tomato". He came at the right time as snowboarding became an Olympic sport.


Shaun White is now in his 30's and still winning gold medals and still having amazing highlight videos.

But in the #metoo era, his past transgressions have become public. A former member of his rock band mentioned that White had a controlling personality and sent sexually explicit messages to her.  

Shaun White later settled a lawsuit and have publicly apologized during the Olympics

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/02/14/sports/olympics/shaun-white-sexual-harassment.html

- Russia

Russia as a nation was disqualified from the Winter Olympics due to the doping scandal of the previous games in Sochi in 2014.

But it wouldn't be fair to the Russian athletes who were innocent of all this.

So the compromise was that athletes from Russia didn't wear their nation's uniforms, couldn't have their national anthem played, couldn't bring their nation's flag.  The team was just referred to as "Olympic team from Russia".

It was sort of like the whole "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince" thing.

No matter, the athletes from Russia still won the gold for men's hockey.

Other news

A bullying scandal has been exposed among South Korean speed skaters. 

https://sports.yahoo.com/korean-skaters-leave-teammate-tears-accused-bullying-shaming-133929513.html?soc_src=mail&soc_trk=ma

In nicer news, here's an example of good sportsmanship (or really, in this case, sportswomanship), where a Japanese gold-winning speedskater Nao Kodaira comforted South Korean speedskater Lee Sang-wha

https://sports.yahoo.com/gold-medalist-comforts-silver-medalist-true-olympic-moment-020504941.html?soc_src=mail&soc_trk=ma

From the Czech Republic, Ester Ledecka became the first to win gold medals to 2 different sports - snowboarding and alpine skiing. She's been compared to US American athlete Bo Jackson who excelled as a pro in both baseball and American football a few decades ago

https://sports.yahoo.com/ester-ledecka-officially-olympics-bo-jackson-055103196.html?soc_src=mail&soc_trk=ma

Obviously, there's much more stories from the Winter Olympics, these just happened to be in my mind at this time!

This is a follow-up to the previous "control your curiosity" blog posts
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2016/01/control-your-curiosity.html
https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2016/02/control-your-curiosity-part-2.html

plus the YouTube speeches that correspond to those blog posts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqYmYUUp-4Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQba_JNFhtI




For this edition of "Control Your Curiosity",  I want to focus on bad timing. Some questions aren't bad questions, but they sometimes get asked at the wrong time. It isn't that the questions are bad, it's the timing that's bad. 


I tell my students to not ask personal questions during classtime. Focus on the assignments. I'm not there to be their buddy, I'm there to make sure the students are focusing on their assignments.

I do sometimes answer those questions during recess or afterschool. That's free time. That's chill time. But not during classtime! 


Even with co-workers, I don't answer personal questions during busy times. Wait until another time!

It reminds me of when I was working at a fashion retail store, I was doing markdowns (meaning I scan the item's price tickets, and if it doesn't match what's on the scanner, I print a new price ticket) which has to be completed before the store opens.   I was being asked a series of open-ended questions (meaning they're not yes-no questions, they're questions that require explanations)  and I told that person "I'm not in a mood to answer personal questions right now".

I don't want to sound like some aloof person, but answering these questions would require that I stop what I'm doing to explain my answers to those personal questions. I don't have time for that! 

I'll answer questions to help the other co-workers do their jobs competently. I'll help another person that needs my help. But please,  ease up on the personal questions when I'm working on something important.

That co-workers could've easily look up this blog or check my facebook to get some answers. I reveal more than many people would. I reveal it to public looking up that information on their own free time. I rather have that than to have people ask personal questions on my work time.

Is it time to work? Yes? Then focus on work.

---

As for my students, they do sometimes look up my name and found my blog and my YouTube channel.

 I never start a conversation about my blog or YouTube videos to my students. Blogs and YouTube videos are something I do on my own free time. 

 But students do look up my name and found my blog or YouTube channel.  During classtime, if they bring it up, I tell them to focus on their assignments, that I don't answer personal questions during classtime.

Sometimes, during recess or afterschool, they might say "I saw you on YouTube" or "I subscribe to your YouTube channel". I usually just thank them :)

The funniest comments I heard was "now I know what an adult is" and "hey Mr Pablo, control your curiosity"

So here's the 3rd video about "control your curiosity"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJyHIJxgaAc

control your curiosity (part 3: bad timing)

What is an Adult? (part 3)

(note: the previous "what is an adult?" blog posts can be found at
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2013/05/what-is-adult.html
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2013/09/what-is-adult-part-2.html



Ever since the Valentine's Day school shooting in Parkland, Florida, there has been protest marches by the teenage students from that school for more gun control.

This activism has renewed calls to allow 16-year olds  to vote?

But at the same time, gun control want to limit sales of certain type of rifles to people 21 years old or older.

So which is it? We're adults at 16, or adults at 21?  That's a 5-year gap!

An article from the left-wing publication TheNation advocates that 16-year olds be allowed to vote, based on the bright insights that teenagers sometimes have on current events

https://www.thenation.com/article/lower-the-voting-age-to-16/


But if someone is old enough to vote, smart enough to vote, mature enough to vote,  then it shall stand that the same person is old enough, smart enough and mature enough to...............

• drink alcoholic beverages
• smoke
• join the military and be sent to battle
• buy some rifles

And if a 16-year is considered "adult enough to vote', then..........

• a 16-year old criminal should only be tried as an adult
• a 16-year old criminal should be held in adult prison
• a dead 16-year old shouldn't be called a "dead child"
• a situation where 16-year olds are being killed shouldn't be referred to as "killing children"

Those 4 bullet points (oops, sorry for the wording) will make left-wing activists cringe since they're usually the ones who advocate against trying teenage suspect as adults, putting teenage criminals in adult prison, and they ALWAYS call a case of police/gang/lone-wolf shooting of teenagers as "killing children"

But when teenagers advocate for policies favored by many left-wing "progressives" (ie, gun control), they're all of a sudden not "children" anymore, but adults who deserve the right to vote!

----

Being that I'm a wannabe librarian (I've majored in Library & Information Science), I've also noted the section where books published for teenagers is labeled the "Young Adult Section"

Young adults?

15-year olds are "young adults?"

So what would happen if someone my age (37) attempted to have sexual relations with those 15-year old "young adults"?

That would be a statutory offense.  The person my age would be arrested and be labeled a "sex offender" who would be banned from anywhere near schools where these so-called "young adults" attend.

You see why I'm not a fan of calling the teenage section of the library as a "young adult section".

As far as I'm concerned, Young Adults are people who just finished high school, the stereotypical age of college undergraduates.

(note that I said "stereotypical age", a 35 year old who finally started college would definitely NOT be a "young adult")

==============

And back to that TheNation article that I mentioned earlier, there was this quote that made roll my eyes

Noting that high-school students have “far better BS detectors” than adults, constitutional scholar Lawrence Tribe asked as the young people from Florida opened up the gun debate,“Wouldn’t it be great if the voting age were lowered to 16?”

Wait, what? Teenagers have   “far better BS detectors” than adults?

I'm sorry, but get real! Even the most intellectually gifted teens are unprepared for the mind-games of con artists, pimps, cult leaders, and other shady characters who view them as "fresh meat".

Every teenager wants to promote a "street-smart" image of themselves. Nobody wants to be seen as the naive, gullible fool. But there's ALWAYS someone who can outsmart you and con you. If they can't outsmart you one way, they'll outsmart you another way.

Even adults have trouble with that. Anyone who is emotionally vulnerable (that includes teenagers who proclaim themselves "sophisticated", "street smart" and "hardcore") can be manipulated by those who tell them what they want to hear.  Those who claim to have "better BS detectors" are about to learn a hard lesson about their bragging when they're in unsupervised situations at college, signing contracts, and more.

I definitely wouldn't claim to be immune from manipulative people, as you can learn from my situation at this blog post

http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2013/01/youre-not-immune-to-getting-scammed.html

And a blog post about other people who claimed that they're immune from being taken advantage just because they're "tough" and "street smart"

http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2017/10/you-can-be-messed-with.html

This is not to say teenagers don't have valuable insights. They do. 

I mean, I had some brilliant insights back when I was 16, but I also learned a lot more since then! Some through formal education and "book learning", but more through life experiences that I didn't yet have at that age!

Oh, oh, that word "life experience". My dad used to say "you don't have life experience" to deter criticisms of his decisions.

Some of his decisions were wrong, but more accurately, wrong timing!  Like buying and moving house in a different part of the island when I was a teenager.  I hated my parents for that! I hated my parents for putting in a situation where I either go to school with people I don't know, or continue go to school with people I know but lie about the home address to do so!  Living a lie can take it's toll. 

I later told my dad "your life experience doesn't include growing up in Hawaii" (it's true), and told my mom (who did grow up in Hawaii) "your life experience doesn't include changing neighborhoods growing up" (also true), so they didn't have the life experience I had. So much for them having "life experience"

As an adult I sort of understand why dad used the words "life experience" (nevermind that his different "life experience" made it hard to understand my life experience). 

Because as an adult, I have gained some life experiences that I haven't yet experienced when I was a teenager arguing with dad (though I'm still right about that stupid house though).

For example, I now have experience being having to stay employed to pay my living expenses. 

Having a job and keeping a job requires sometimes making split-second decisions under severe psychological pressure. The results of such pressure is much worse than getting an "F" on the report card or doing detention after school. The results are getting a different type of "F" (fired, as in, you just lost your source of income, good luck avoiding homelessness now) or doing real time in incarceration, which would make afterschool detention seem "easy"

Also, having such responsibilities mean you'll experience all your "bright ideas" that you had as a teenager turn to severe failures.

Right-wing writer Kurt Schlichter had this to say when young rightwing blowhard Tomi Lahren got fired from TheBlaze last year.

https://townhall.com/columnists/kurtschlichter/2017/03/23/enough-of-the-precocious-conservakids-n2302112

We need to dispense with the cute kid conservative novelty acts and understand that our ideology – unlike liberalism – is not based on feelings and preferences but is instead drawn from a wisdom and understanding of human nature that comes only from hard-won life experience. That’s not to say young people should sit down and shut up – far from it. They have valuable insights we need to hear, especially from worlds they uniquely inhabit, like colleges or the company-level military. Sometimes they have done in-depth study and reporting on specific issues, including writing books. That’s earned expertise, not some mere knack for viral ranting, and that’s not what we are talking about here.

It’s our own fault for letting them represent us to the world – maybe we do it because they flatter us by offering a dim reflection of what we believe. But when they recite conservative chapter and verse for us, that’s all they’re doing – reciting. It’s not ingrained, it’s not seared into them through study and experience. It’s a stunt, a parlor trick. One of several reasons we conservatives need to stop putting them out there is because most conservatives have a youthful liberal phase and the kid who delights us today by mimicking our views will likely take a misguided off-ramp or two along the road to adulthood. 

and this 

Hey, I don’t blame the conservakids for cashing in on the spotlight. If I was 24 and someone offered me a gig and a boatload of cash, game on. But as it happens, when I was 24, I was a platoon leader in Germany during the last years of the Cold War leading other young people. 

You see, in the military, one wrong move can get you killed!

In business, one wrong move  based on what you thought were "brilliant ideas" can cause your company to go bankrupt and workers laid off!

While I wasn't in the military, and nor do I own a business (unless you count my selling my music via online distributor as a "business", though I don't have any employees), I do have some experience with "bright ideas turned to failure"

I worked as a substitute teacher, and I came into the job with some bright ideas that I thought would work.

Those "bright ideas" led to students not taking my authority seriously and some classroom chaos.  Those "bright ideas" led to  administrators wondering "what the hell were you thinking?"

I had to learn from failure, and readjust how I do things.

You can only learn so much from a book or a video. You actually have to do things under pressure.

You actually have to face failure, and learn to grow and readjust from that! 

Though I was dreaming circa 20 to be a well-known commentator (I was thinking musical commentator like Chuck D, or news commentator like Bill O'Reilly), I am now glad I didn't get the early fame like Tomi Lahren did.

Tomi Lahren never had to be in an authority position (that could be military, business, or teaching) where you have to make hard split-second decisions under psychological pressure where failure could lead to very embarrassing and life-changing results. 

It's easy to rant about "how things should be" based on cliches.

It's harder to make serious leadership decisions in real time.

It is these decisions, and readjusting based on results gone wrong, that later give your words much more credibility than someone who just came straight outta the ivory tower.

Don't get me wrong, I do like it when teenagers pay attention to current events & history, and are attempting to base a political philosophy based on what they learned.  That's exactly what I was doing when I was that age. (Though to be real, that was at a time before social media and YouTube).

However, teenagers need more "seasoning", more time to digest the various viewpoints instead of just repeating cliches.

This isn't just directed at anti-gun teens who only learned the anti-gun side of the story , but I'm also thinking of the anti-abortion teens who repeat the cliches of their parents/church/etc but haven't yet been in a situation of facing an unwanted or difficult pregnancy!

Teenagers will eventually grow into gaining real life experience where they apply their knowledge and  see their ideas put into action. Sometimes, those ideas get validated, other times, those ideas get smashed into pieces. 

But that's OK, that's what becoming an adult is! We all live and learn!

comments on #metoo (social awkwardness edition)

Best believe I've had a lot of social awkwardness in me over the years! It's a part of being human!

As a kid, I've learned inappropriate humor from an early age and thought of it as the best way to entertain peers. As we got older, less and less peers got entertained, and I've eventually learned to distance myself from inappropriate humor. Now it's to the point where I cringe when I hear others using the same inappropriate humor I once engaged in!


[note: this issue has been addressed in my 2016 blog post "Outgrowing Inappropriate Humor"
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2016/10/outgrowing-inappropriate-humor.html]

As a teen, I noticed that the more popular boys would poke girls on the side, and teased the girls which got them giggling. I was thinking "this is how you get chicks".  I tried that and usually got disastrous results. Lost the respect of some girls. Others giggled when they asked me to stop the pokes/jokes,  and they later accepted my facebook requests. I still wonder if they think I'm a hypocrite when I posted links to blogs/articles about sexual harassment. Too afraid to ask!


As you can see, the rules of social engagement can be complex.

That sentence alone can get many feminist activists very angry!

Let me be clear!

There is absolutely ZERO excuse for forcing sexual intercourse on a person!

There is absolutely ZERO excuse to take advantage of anyone who is too drunk/drugged/passed-out to consent. 

There is absolutely ZERO excuse to pressure anyone to take drugs or drink alcohol!

I might sound "humble-bragging" but I have done NONE of those previous 3 things!

However, things like humor, expressions of sexual interests, and figuring out how the other person could react to both really are complex!

At the nightclubs, some women will intentionally rub their rears against a men standing near them.  Mentioning this isn't "slut-shaming" or "blaming women", it's reality!  It's a fun reality if you're a man into that kind of thing! And yes, those women do enjoy the man "taking the bait".

However, sometimes women will start dancing and shaking her booty without noticing that a man is behind her! The man might think "ooh, this girl is near me, that means she wants me to bump & grind her. After all, the last time I was at this club, another woman did intentionally rubbed her rear on my front and enjoyed it, so this woman wants the same".  But it turns out this woman dancing in front of him really doesn't know he's behind her,  and he's now rubbing his front on her rear and ............. oh, oh, BIG MISTAKE on HIS part! The girl gets freaked out, walks away and her friends give that man a hostile glare!  

And yes, the 2 different situations in the 2 previous paragraphs happened with me.  That's why at the club, I have to make sure the woman knows I'm near before I make any moves. If I'm not sure she knows I'm near, I'll just take a few steps back to avoid contact and awkward situations. 

As you can see much of the nightclub interactions rely heavily on nonverbal cues. After all, the music is so loud, you can't really have much of a conversation. You can try talking into the other person's ear, but even that can lead to wondering what the other person just said!

And with nonverbal cues, they can be misinterpreted.

It's not just about the nightclub, but also in the bedroom (honestly, I have more experience with nightclubs than bedrooms). 

That became the topic of conversation when an anonymous woman claimed that she had a bad dating experience with male comedian Aziz Ansari.  While Ansari didn't really assault her, he was accused of pressuring her into doing certain sexual acts and of not catching her nonverbal cues of discomfort.

This was mentioned in a dating advice article titled 

"A Tale of Two Dates: 15 Lessons from the Aziz Ansari Case"

Lo Sharkey, “A Tale of Two Dates: 15 Lessons from the Aziz Ansari Case,” Em & Lo, January 16, 2018,

 https://www.emandlo.com/a-tale-of-two-dates-15-lessons-from-the-aziz-ansari-case/.

On facebook, my response to the article was this

The article has "What We Can Learn From HIS Behavior" and "What We Can Learn From HER Behavior"

I especially like [QUOTE] Don’t rely on your non-verbal cues to do the talking. [UNQUOTE]

because men on average as less able to pick up on nonverbal cues (especially being that men have higher rates of Asperger syndrome than women, and those who have it sure isn't going to admit it to you), and you have to be blunt with them.

and I also mentioned this

also this [QUOTE] Do not use alcohol to try to get the sexual outcome you desire out of a date. [UNQUOTE]

there's no need for it, no excuse for it! Been clubbing for years, and NEVER bought a "drink" for a girl. That's some creepy Cosby ish, and totally uncalled for!

Not only have I NEVER bought a girl a "drink", I don't even drink alcoholic beverages myself!

Some people claim that alcohol helps them deal with social awkwardness, but what it really does it makes you a different type of socially awkward!

Some shyness is good! It keeps you from making stupid mistakes that can upset people!

I'm not much of dater, not really a smooth talker. But at the nightclub, when the music is pumping and a great song is on, I'm on the dancefloor. I might have a few clutzy moments (I don't have the fancy footwork of a MC Hammer or Micheal Jackson), but I'm pretty good with the rest of my body. 😉I let the music guide me! 

There's no need to be drunk or buzzed! There's no need to drink alcohol to get rid of social inhibitions on the dancefloor! The music should be enough to guide you! 

And I don't buy drinks for women, period. Exclamation Point!

For what? You think that will get her to like you?  It doesn't work that way! You don't impress her by buying drinks, you impress with your personal coolness! I do it on the dancefloor!

Also, buying her drinks will also get her into the habit of accepting drinks from strangers. You're not going to be the last stranger, and the next stranger might have some really bad intentions for her!  You don't want her to get into the habit of accepting drinks from people like that!  


===================

Now on to the workplace.

In the workplace, I'm all business! 

(full disclosure: Though there were a few cases of me poking females on the sides in the workplace back in 2004 & 2005. I'm saying this now before anyone claim I'm a hypocrite for writing about sexual harassment/assaults issues now in 2018)

So yeah, after 2005, I've became all business! 

And being in mostly female work environments, I wouldn't even dare attempt what many males have been getting away with in male-dominated environment for centuries. I couldn't even get away with even 10% of what females can get away with in a female work environment!

And being that much of my work involve schools, the environment is very hyper-vigilant when it comes to anything that reeks of sexual harassment. Certain conversations and jokes just don't happen among the staff there, not even in the worker's lounge! Anyone who tries that is not only stupid but super-stupid! Even though political pundits claim that "teacher unions are liberal" (being that they mostly support Democrats),  the Al Franken styled jokes aren't tolerated at all!  So there is some form of social conservatism among mostly pro-Obama teaching workforce!

Even among male workers there, you aren't going to hear about "getting chicks", because let's face it, presenting yourself as a pervert or a creep will end your career at the schools really fast! 

Working in that environment (plus having more mature friends) got me to the point where a long-lost friend who I reunited with on 10-year high school reunion year was so shocked when he learned I no longer participate in inappropriate humor and that I no longer go to strip clubs and I no longer watch porn

[note: I explain more in the following blog posts
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2015/01/money-down-drain.html
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2017/02/time-not-just-money-down-drain.html



That being said, much of the #metoo movement focused on workplace harassment. 

This from a #metoo skeptic Cathy Young

Cathy Young, “Is 'Weinsteining' getting out of hand?,” Los Angeles Times, November 1, 2017
http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-young-weinsteining-goes-too-far-20171101-story.html

More broadly, the #MeToo movement, which tends to lump together a wide range of male wrongdoing from rape to "creepy" or boorish behavior, raises a basic question about human relations in the working world: Can work and sexuality or romance ever mix? For many supporters of this campaign, the answer seems to be no.

Concerns that the post-Weinstein climate may lead to witch hunts against any man who flirts with a female colleague have been met with angry comments along the lines of "flirting in the workplace IS HARASSMENT." A tweet by singer/songwriter Marian Call that got more than 2,000 retweets and nearly 6,500 "likes" asked, "dudes are you aware how happy women would be if strangers & coworkers never 'flirted' with us again … this is the world we want."

But is it? It's certainly not the world I want: Except in college, nearly every man I have ever dated was either a co-worker or, once I switched entirely to free-lancing, someone I met through work. This is not unusual, even in the age of dating websites and apps. An informal 2015 survey for the online magazine Mic found that men and women under 35 were almost twice as likely to have met their current significant other through work (17.9%) as through online dating (9.4%). Similar findings have emerged from other such surveys.

and more from Cathy Young

Although it is difficult to imagine a woman whose actions come even close to Weinstein's, women do engage in sexual harassment. A male friend of mine who worked for a small magazine as a recent college graduate in the 1980s has less than fond memories of a female co-worker, his senior in both age and position, who sometimes greeted him with jokes insinuating that he was sexually aroused and once groped him under the pretext of straightening out his posture in a motherly way.

[note: best believe that some of that goes on at the nightclub too. I actually had to stop at least 2 women from stop putting their arms around the back of my neck, a sensitive spot for me (fear of neck injuries). Twice, women offered drinks and giggled when I accepted what they said was water. That was just creepy. I walked away safely but literally had a headache afterwards. Another one where I posed for a picture and an unknown woman put made a hand symbol near my pants where her two fingers are so close together it could be interpreted as "he got  small ____" even though she never saw "it". ]

[note #2: not at a club, but also annoying: one older woman did come from behind me to "fix my collar" without even asking me first! I was so pissed that I told her to "go away".]

[note #3: while none of those incidents are anywhere near what Harvey Weinstein did, they also disprove this nonsense that "men don't know what it's like to be inappropriately touched or sexually harassed". And those feminist stereotypes are a super-mega-huge insult to men who have been sexually abused by scumbags like Kevin Spacey or Jerry Sandusky]


  As Cathy Young noted, much of married couples meet at work, and for every case that happens, there some attempts at flirting that might've been socially awkward (maybe the woman preferred someone who looked like Mario Lopez instead), but that isn't really predatory, it was just a wrong guess and social awkwardness. 

And I'm very skeptical of rules that don't allow managers to have sexual relations with adult employees or professors to have sexual relations with adult students!

Sometimes, manager &  adult employees, and professors &   adult students have sexual attractions for each other. 

Sure it might bring a conflict of interest, but to act as if every manager who has sexual relations with an employee is some kind of Weinstein-like monster is just stereotyping! 

Let's look at this funny example written by Claire Berlinski

Claire Berlinski, “The Warlock Hunt,” The American Interest, December 6, 2017
https://www.the-american-interest.com/2017/12/06/the-warlock-hunt/

The things men and women naturally do—flirt, play, lewdly joke, desire, seduce, tease—now become harassment only by virtue of the words that follow the description of the act, one of the generic form: “I froze. I was terrified.” It doesn’t matter how the man felt about it. The onus to understand the interaction and its emotional subtleties falls entirely on him. But why? Perhaps she should have understood his behavior to be harmless—clumsy, sweet but misdirected, maladroit, or tacky—but lacking in malice sufficient to cost him such arduous punishment?

In recent weeks, I’ve acquired new powers. I have cast my mind over the ways I could use them. I could now, on a whim, destroy the career of an Oxford don who at a drunken Christmas party danced with me, grabbed a handful of my bum, and slurred, “I’ve been dying to do this to Berlinski all term!” That is precisely what happened. I am telling the truth. I will be believed—as I should be.

But here is the thing. I did not freeze, nor was I terrified. I was amused and flattered and thought little of it. I knew full well he’d been dying to do that. Our tutorials—which took place one-on-one, with no chaperones—were livelier intellectually for that sublimated undercurrent. He was an Oxford don and so had power over me, sensu stricto. I was a 20-year-old undergraduate. But I also had power over him—power sufficient to cause a venerable don to make a perfect fool of himself at a Christmas party. Unsurprisingly, I loved having that power. But now I have too much power. I have the power to destroy someone whose tutorials were invaluable to me and shaped my entire intellectual life much for the better. This is a power I do not want and should not have.

Over the course of my academic and professional career, many men who in some way held a position of power over me have made lewd jokes in my presence, or reminisced drunkenly of past lovers, or confessed sexual fantasies. They have hugged me, flirted with me, on occasion propositioned me. For the most part, this male attention has amused me and given me reason to look forward to otherwise dreary days at work. I dread the day I lose my power over men, which I have used to coax them to confide to me on the record secrets they would never have vouchsafed to a male journalist. I did not feel “demeaned” by the realization that some men esteemed my cleavage more than my talent; I felt damned lucky to have enough talent to exploit my cleavage.

In other words, some women are filled with joy when a man in authority (or even just a male peer) assertively pursue her.

This isn't to minimize the seriousness of sexual harassment as Ms. Berlinski later said

Do not mistake me for a rape apologist. Harvey Weinstein stands credibly accused of rape. He must face a real trial and grave punishment if convicted, not “therapy and counselling.” Tariq Ramadan, likewise. No civilized society tolerates rape. Many of the men whose professional reputations have recently been destroyed sure sound like they had it coming. The law will decide whether the accused are guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, but I don’t require such arduous proof: I’m already convinced that Roy Moore is a sexual predator and so is Bill Clinton. Neither my certainty nor anyone else’s should be allowed to displace the law. I may be convinced, but I might also be mistaken.

and also this

Given the events of recent weeks, we can be certain of this: From now on, men with any instinct for self-preservation will cease to speak of anything personal, anything sexual, in our presence. They will make no bawdy jokes when we are listening. They will adopt in our presence great deference to our exquisite sensitivity and frailty. Many women seem positively joyful at this prospect. The Revolution has at last been achieved! But how could this be the world we want? Isn’t this the world we escaped?

Who could blame a man who does not enjoy the company of women under these circumstances, who would just rather not have women in the workplace at all? This is a world in which the Mike Pence rule—“Never be alone with a woman”—seems eminently sensible. Such a world is not good for women, however—as many women were quick to point out when we learned of the Mike Pence rule. Our success and advancement relies upon the personal and informal relationships we have with our colleagues and supervisors. But who, in this climate, could blame a venerable Oxford don for refusing to take the risk of teaching a young woman, one-on-one, with no witnesses? Mine was the first generation of women allowed the privilege of unchaperoned tutorials with Balliol’s dons. Will mine also be the last? 

In other words, she wants feminist activists to realize that we should differentiate between social awkwardness and sexual abuse! Yes, they can be on the same spectrum, but we have to be proportionate too!

Socially awkwardness can be targeted by stern words, but the truly sexual predatory behavior requires severe punishment and severe humiliation.  

Proportions matter!