Thursday, March 21, 2024

on being neuro-divergent

 First, what exactly is "neuro-divergent"

When I typed that term on a Google search (and a Bing search), one of the top results led to this definition from the Cleveland Clinic

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/23154-neurodivergent

Neurodivergent is a nonmedical term that describes people whose brains develop or work differently for some reason. This means the person has different strengths and struggles from people whose brains develop or work more typically. While some people who are neurodivergent have medical conditions, it also happens to people where a medical condition or diagnosis hasn’t been identified.


The article goes on to state the following

 What does it mean when a person is neurodivergent?

The term “neurodivergent” describes people whose brain differences affect how their brain works. That means they have different strengths and challenges from people whose brains don’t have those differences. The possible differences include medical disorders, learning disabilities and other conditions. The possible strengths include better memory, being able to mentally picture three-dimensional (3D) objects easily, the ability to solve complex mathematical calculations in their head, and many more.

Neurodivergent isn’t a medical term. Instead, it’s a way to describe people using words other than “normal” and “abnormal.” That’s important because there’s no single definition of “normal” for how the human brain works.

The word for people who aren’t neurodivergent is “neurotypical.” That means their strengths and challenges aren't affected by any kind of difference that changes how their brains work.


Some of the listed categories of neurodivergent include but are not limited to 

  • Autism spectrum (including Asperger's)
  • Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD)
  • Intellectual disabilities
  • Dyslexia
  • Bipolar
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder
  • Social anxiety
  • Down Syndrome
  • Tourette Syndrome

It would take forever to list them all.

It seems that anything that differentiates you from the norm (even if most things about you seem "normal") can get listed as neuro-divergent.

For example, I'd like to think of myself as an eccentric person.

I don't always follow the norm.
Some of my interests don't always match those of my peers
I have my own ideas (even some that might seem "out there")
I have a mix of extroversion (like how I'm very public about my opinions) and introversion (I love myself A LOT of "me time") 

I started talking late (about 5 years old). I was placed in SPED until I was able to talk and express my thoughts. Once they heard me showing off what I know (and show off I did), they figured "this guy doesn't need SPED anymore." 

In fact, I was above my peers when it came to geography, but just average when it came to math.

Throughout elementary, I had speech therapy (late talker) and occupational therapy (being that I learned skills slower than I learned facts).

I adjusted to my peers using humor, some of it not appropriate.  Which caused me more trouble as I got older.

But I still did well academically.

Having speech impediments, plus being a minority (Latino in Asian-majority middle & high schools) caused me to be under-estimated by the same exact peers who later asked me for help with schoolwork. 

But PE? Forget about it! I had size but too slow!  Too small to be a lineman, too slow to play the running positions.  Could hit a baseball but too slow to catch.  I'll be too gassed to last long in basketball or fĂștbol/soccer.  

The best PE was biker ed (4th grade) and weight training (high school). Still do both, need to remind myself to do them more often. 

I was able to graduate from high school and earn 2 college degrees.

As for work, well, you can read about my mental health and career development in this blog post

And that's what brought me to seek additional mental health services.

I'm not going to go over everything I discussed with those providers.

But I want to talk about my relations with being neuro-divergent.

Years ago, I did read about Asperger's (which is part of the autism spectrum). Some of the listed items matched me, some of them didn't. 

I took those online tests. According to them, I didn't match the criteria. 

Plus, I had to laugh at some of those questions.
Like "Do you prefer libraries or nightclubs?"
Why Not Both?


I'm reluctant to describe myself as autistic because when people hear about autism, they envision the following
  • a non-verbal student who screams at any inconvenience
  • someone who just stares into space, oblivious to all that's around

Come on, that's not me.


But I have some autistic tendencies

  • likes to organize items

  • obsessive interests

  • some level of rigidity

  • don’t like to change routine without advanced notice

  • gets in the zone when doing tasks

  • picky eater

  • sensitive to some loud noises


About the loud noises, I do like heavy metal music, but I'm not a fan of fireworks. 

And I hate using earpieces, which was why I left the job at Nordstrom Rack, which you can read about it at


As for being a picky eater, learn more at https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2017/01/picky-eater.html



As for whether I have "Asperger's", I still have some level of denial because

  • Yes, I did have challenges learning to socialize, but not sure how much of it is autism versus how much of it is “youth, immaturity, and inexperience”

  • I mean come on, I'm not making the same socializing mistakes I did when I was younger.

  • While Asperger’s is commonly stereotyped as "can’t detect nonverbal cues", I think others misinterpret my nonverbal cues more than I misinterpret others

  • Also, the jobs that I had (retail, sub teaching) rely on understanding nonverbal cues and I don’t think that’s the problem for me. 

  • Asperger's comes with the stereotype that one neither uses nor detects sarcasm. Is that me? Yeah, right! Sure, pal! 

  • Obviously, I'm not going to pretend that I'm always immune to other people's mind games, but like most people, I get better at detecting them as  I gain life experience. What fooled me back in the day usually doesn't fool me anymore. 


As for nonverbal cues, I had a video series "Thoughts on Facial Expressions" which you can check out at


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I already mentioned some sensory issues (i.e.. picky eater, sensitivity to some loud noises)

When I mentioned to the mental health professional that I hate being rushed, he mentioned that's an example of dealing with sensory overload! 

Believe it or not, being a sub teacher is easier than retail for me because when I'm subbing, I'm not being rushed nearly as often as when I was working in retail. 

Usually, sub-teaching is just teaching simplified lesson plans (well, most of the time) and I just ensure the students are following them. 

Sure, a few of those students have their own issues and cause me sensory overload, but most of the time, it's not that bad, it's usually manageable

Though I do admit I started my sub career without the right level of maturity or experience, I did eventually grow into the role! Which is how I've been able to last more than a decade :)

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In recent sessions, I did discuss with the mental health professional about learning skills. 

As I mentioned earlier, I learn facts faster than I learn skills.

With patient guidance, I can eventually learn those skills.

However, many workplaces expect you to pick up those skills quickly!

I can't learn skills in a rushed environment. I need more time and practice.

I also learn best with visual guidelines (ie written guidelines, outlines, flow-charts, and written lists).

The great supervisors I had used visual guidelines in training me. The crappy supervisors didn't! Wow, what a coincidence!


So how do I ensure any future job would be the optimal environment to learn the necessary skills?

Well, I'm learning to be upfront before entering the job.

How?

By putting the following paragraph in all cover letters

To best ensure my success, I would like to inform you that I work best when instructions are offered with visual guidelines (ie written guidelines, outlines, flow-charts, written lists). I work best when instructed in a respectful and patient manner.  With these conditions, I can thrive on the job. 

Those who demand I pick up skills right away without visual guidelines can hire someone else instead

Remember, the job search process is not only about employers weeding out applicants, it's also about applicants weeding out negative work environments

After all, life is too short to deal with environments that are toxic to your mental health!