As I mentioned in earlier articles, I think its dangerous to expect all boys to fit a mega-macho stereotype.
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2014/01/locker-room-manhood-and-bullying.html
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2013/11/what-is-be-man-supposed-to-mean.html
And I think it's dangerous to expect all girls to fit a mega-feminine stereotype.
But what if your daughter wants pink shoes and have princess dolls?
For the average parent, the answer is easy --- if you can afford it, buy it! The children want toys to enhance their pretending to be fictional characters. It's a NORMAL part of childhood!
But the Radical Feminists have a different reaction to such innocent requests from preschool girls!
You think I'm kidding?
Look what I found on Salon.com
"My Problem with Pink" by Emily McNally
http://www.salon.com/2014/02/02/my_problem_with_pink/
I took my 3-year-old daughters shoe shopping recently. One of my daughters chooses a cute navy pair that fit her narrow feet, but my other daughter wants something glitzier. I try to steer her away from those awful, overpriced shoes with garish pictures of Disney princesses on them, but she still manages to find the girliest, sparkliest shoes she can find. They are Barbie pink, coated with silver sequins. Lights flash when her little feet hit the ground.
I start back-pedaling. “How about these purple ones?” I ask her. They have sequins too, but in comparison, they now look practically demure.
“I love these,” Eva says gravely, looking down at her feet. Eva is a sweet-natured girl, not inclined to make a fuss, and I use it to my advantage in this moment.
“Babe, those don’t look comfortable. Let’s look around.” We leave the store without any shoes for her and a promise to come back if we don’t find anything else. But walking down the street holding my daughters’ hands, I begin to doubt myself. The problem with those shoes isn’t my daughter’s discomfort — it’s mine. What is going on? Why am I making such a big deal about such a little purchase?
and more
Yet, even with all this open-mindedness, I am virulently opposed to princess culture. I try not to judge other parents, but when I see a little girl in a tiara and puffy dress on the playground, part of me wants to thrust “Cinderella Ate My Daughter” at her parents. I want to ask them if they worry about the ramifications of allowing their child to worship a culture that teaches them girls are for looking pretty and rescuing.
Give me a effin break already!
Nearly every boy my age wanted to be a GI Joe or a Ninja Turtle or a pro-wrestling!
Pretending to be fictional characters is what kids do!
That's a phase they naturally grow out of, without stupid this "living in theory" nonsense that passes for "enlightenment" by Radical Feminists and other phony liberators!
As boys my age got older, they listened to songs like "F--- the Police" or "Cop Killer". How many of those kids killed a cop? Probably more of them became actual cops!
It' just entertainment, but people take entertainment way too seriously!
Now back to the Radical Feminist author
Another uncomfortable thought occurs to me. If I had a little boy who wanted to wear dresses, or only wear pink, I would make sure I nurtured that. I would stare down anyone who judged. I would be comfortable defending his right to wear whatever made him feel like himself, whatever made him happy. But Eva can’t have pink, light-up shoes? What gives?
In other words, the Radical Feminists are like the Taliban in reverse! Whereas the Taliban (and other conservative fanatics) want all boys to be super-masculine and all girls to be super-feminine, the Radical Feminist refuse to be tolerant of masculine boys or feminine girls!
For this I consider the Radical Feminists as dangerous to children's psychology as the Taliban.
It makes sense that I want to protect my daughter from a culture that will idealize her beauty and trivialize the rest of her. But doing that by not allowing her to wear pink, light-up shoes? It sounds stupid to me, too. What I realize is that I am denying Eva something she wants, something that it is easy for me to give, because I am afraid of a lot of things that are out of my control.
Children do not come to us as blank slates. They are already packed with all kinds of complexity. Their identities are revealed to us in facets all the time, with so much intricacy the mind boggles. Eva loves soccer, Daniel Tiger, and tutus. She wants to be a builder, a policeman, and a bunny baby sitter when she grows up. She is cautious, but extremely coordinated. She is sensitive, but resilient. She has a fantastic sense of humor, but if you hurt her feelings she draws herself up like a queen, haughty and dignified. Our life together will be a series of revelations. I will not like all of them, but it’s not my business to. My job is not to turn her into who I think she should be, my job is to nurture who she already is, to help her become more fully herself.
Now, here's the climax to the author's essay!
Back out on the busy sidewalk, I turn to her. “Eva, do you still want those shoes in the shop?”
“Yes!” She answers immediately. We go get them. She wears them out of the store. When we get home, the babysitter is there. Eva runs to show off her new shoes. “Look Ana, I got these shoes. Mommy says they’re not her favorite, but I can have them anyway.” The touch of regret in her voice breaks my heart.
You see that............. this is why I consider Radical Feminism (and their jihad against "princess toys" and "pink clothes") as psychologically dangerous to little girls!
How is this different from locker room cultures that stigmatizes boys who refuse to act like Richie Incognito?
How is this different from the Taliban who stigmatizes boys who refuse to be ultra-masculine relgious fanatic terrorists?
How is this different from ultra-conservatives who stigmatizes their daughters who might have lesbian tendencies!
That article is proof that Radical Feminists stigmatizes little girls who have an ultra-feminine personality!
Sure, the Radical Feminists may not have as many supporters like the ultra-conservative evangelical groups or the ultra-conservative Islamic groups have!
But Radical Feminism is still dangerous to anyone (even little girls) who get in the way of their extremist agenda!
I'll let the author continue here
Before I leave them for the afternoon, I want to say something to her. Something about the shoes, something about what I was thinking. What I really want to tell her is this: I love you like a crazy person. You could burn the house down, crash the car, get pregnant at 16, and I would still cheerfully lay down my life for you. But the problem with being a parent is mostly you don’t get to make grand gestures, and sometimes it’s easy to get stuck in this binary system of yeses and nos. Sometimes it seems like there are mostly nos. No you can’t do that, eat that, play with that. It’s not polite, organic, it has lead. And on and on. And sometimes mommy is an idiot and she forgets that it’s not your job to prove her right, or be the living example of some parenting philosophy. Because, really, you are perfect right now, and my job is to not mess that up. But that is way too much information for a 3-year-old, so what I say is, “Eva, I love your shoes. They’re great. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you the first time.”
You see, the author is learning the extreme danger of Radical Feminist ideology!
Look, I understand why Radical Feminism appeals to some women. Some women grow up with abusive environments. Many women have legit anger towards the world around them. Radical Feminism appeal to their anger, and their leaders/activists fill their heads with supposedly "great" ideas.
It's not much different from how gangs, cults, racial supremacists and terrorist groups recruit angry boys from abusive environments. Those groups appeal to the anger of teen boys and young men, and their leaders/activists fill their heads with supposedly "great" ideas.
Those "great ideas" make give the angry youth some "purpose" in life, but they are all emotion, no logic! Their ideology doesn't stand up to scrutiny when it's compared to logic related to how things are in the real world.
The author recognizes the errors of taking Radical Feminist ideology too far!
But how many little girls will continue to suffer, all because some crazed Radical Feminist ideology.
And how many of us will remain silent out of fear of being called a "sexist" and "misogynist"?
