What is "Be a Man" supposed to mean

Every boy gets told "be a man", "be more manly", "act like a man", "take it like a man" or something like that a million times growing up.

What the hell is all that supposed to mean?


A lot of us heard it like "you gotta be the tough guy"

And in modern American culture, young males took it to mean

"you got to be a jock",
"you got to be a gangsta",
"you gotta work in physical labor jobs",
 "you got to bench 400 pounds",
"you got to fight anyone anytime"

and if you fit none of those stereotypes? Oh, oh..........................

you'll tend to feel insecure, worried that your peers will call you a "woman" or a "fag"

But is that what "be a man" supposed to be about? 

From Micheal Tsai's column
http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2005/Jul/18/il/507180311.html

Back in the day — and, um, which day was that, again? — the phrase "be a man" wasn't intended as some backhanded slap at gays or women, but an admonishment to grow up and stop being, well, a boy.

So what is supposed to be difference between a "boy" and a "man" besides age?

And why is limited to "be a man"?

I rarely ever heard females get told "be a woman", "act like a woman", etc.  Though it might've been said more often pre-1950's to discourage women from applying for certain jobs.  That has changed!


As far as I'm concerned, enough of this "be a man" or "be a woman" stuff! We already know what gender we are!


Look, I do think people need to develop maturity and confidence as they grow up.


But it shouldn't be limited to "be a man" phrases.

And no you don't need to be a jock, gangsta, labor worker, super-lifter nor an MMA champ. 

So instead of this "be a man" stuff, I'll just replace the goal for every human being growing up with this .................................

Become a mature, confident adult

That doesn't sound weak, right?

That's not limited to any gender, right?

You don't need to fit a gender stereotype to be a "mature confident adult", right? 


You can be some fashion designer, ballet dancer or something like that and still be a Mature Confident Adult!


-------------

There's nothing mature about some person who thinks toughness is all about domination and bullying of others.  There's nothing mature about making inappropriate jokes or daring someone to do something dangerous or wrong  just to test if "he's a real man"

There's nothing confident about wallowing in self-pity and insecurity. There's nothing confident about being stuck in panic mode.


But you know what?  You don't just say "I'm now a mature, confident adult" and think you'll be that way forever!

Hell no, becoming a Mature Confident Adult takes constant work.

You can be super-confident when doing something you're good at one day, but be totally insecure when learning a new skill or just being in a new situation. Confidence doesn't last forever, it takes CONSTANT vigilance.

As for maturity, you can seem mature in one situation, but become tempted to do immature things when being around friends or new people. Maturity doesn't last forever, it takes CONSTANT vigilance!

So yeah, you're CONSTANTLY BEING TESTED! FOR LIFE!


But I still think becoming a Mature Confident Adult is a good goal for everyone!

 

Halloween Thoughts (2013 edition)

Today I had no time to write a blog post on Halloween but I did record a video speech which you can access at http://youtu.be/UQBWk1hvytY And watch PacMan characters run throughout campus at http://youtu.be/fvH2JCxNoro

1 decade anniversary of this blog

Yes, it has been a decade since I started doing this blog.

Actually, I joined Blogger in April 2003 as part of a group blog called "The Fiftieth Star". That was with me, Stuart Hayashi and a few others who wanted to promote an alternative to the center-left bias of the Ka Leo, the Honolulu daily papers and the Honolulu Weekly.
http://50thstar.blogspot.com/

(yeah, I know, it hasn't been updated in a while)

At the time, I was an undergraduate student at UH-Manoa and have been writing opinion articles in the school's newspaper Ka Leo O Hawaii.

As a writer, I had a small group of fans. But I also had an enemy named Tobin Jones who wrote screaming rants in response to my articles. I don't mind rational disagreements with my points, but Tobin Jones doesn't do rational disagreements, he does vicious slanders and accusations of me believing in stuff I dont believe in.


Earlier, I sent out e-mail responses to my inner circle and encouraged them to send out to as many people as possible.

Well, in the summer school class for "Poetry & Drama" (which I only took to get a literature core requirement over with) there was Tobin Jones. He didn't say anything to me the whole time. I didn't say anything to him the whole time. It was like "wait for the other guy to start trouble".

And to make it even worse, we got a professor from hell, William Foltz, a rude professor who thinks his class is his place to rant his opinions on stuff that has nothing to do with "Poetry & Drama"

[contrast that with my substitute teaching, where I dont even answer questions that has nothing to do with the class topic.]

Later that year, in October 2013 I wrote an editorial promoting the "Academic Bill of Rights" as well as protesting against professors who waste class time with irrelevant rants.

 (learn more about the Academic Bill of Rights at http://www.studentsforacademicfreedom.org/documents/1925/abor.html)

Here is my editorial at https://www.manoanow.org/teachers-subject-class-to-opinions/article_d926bc3e-b065-5079-93c4-36b0dc8d737b.html

 Let's say you are registering for classes next semester. You'll need a few classes to fulfill your core requirements and your major requirements. At the same time, you or your family is paying hard earned money to pay for all those classes. Your parents probably make less money than those professors teaching your class.

So you intend to take Poetry and Drama to fulfill a literature requirement. Do you want to spend hard earned money on that class to hear a well-paid professor talk about his hatred for the President, even though that has NOTHING to do with the topic of Poetry and Drama?

(skipped paragraphs)

Do you want a well-paid professor who spends class time venting out his/her opinions while thumbing his/her nose at those who disagree?

That was published on the Ka Leo and Tobin Jones responded with vicious rants meant to insult and humiliate me to the whole campus.

The Ka Leo didn't publish author's responses to their critics. Their mentality was "just move on to the next article already"

But you know what? I got tired of all the vicious slanders against me and I was going to start my own blog to respond to Tobin Jones and whatever other critics I might have.


Anyways, here were my responses to Tobin Jones and William Foltz

https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2003/10/the-rubbish-of-tobin-jones.html

https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2003/11/more-comments-on-tobins-ka-leo-rants.html

https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2003_11_02_archive.html

https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2005/01/letter-of-complaint-to-dr-foltz.html

https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2005/02/more-blasphemy-for-tobin-jones.html

My only regret was mocking their physical appearances, which unintentionally targets those who might look like them, plus it distracts from my criticism of their attitudes.

OK, I'm done with those two chumps.



==========================================

Since then, I've been writing about all types of stuff ranging from the serious (race relations, government, foreign policy, personal struggles, growing up) to the fun (music, sports, parties).

Whatever pops into mind when I have time to blog, that's what goes on the blog.

Of course, I wish I had more time to write blog posts. There's thoughts of mine that I planned to blog on, but never got around to it!

Of course, there's some that wonder "what's the point" and "who cares what people think".

There is one  library intern that I know who has that mentality!

He's part of the Library and Information Science (LIS) program.

Ironically, because the very foundation of LIS, 
the very foundation of libraries, 
the very foundation of information profession................
..................................
is exchange of information and opinions! 


That means people telling their side of the story,
That means giving people access to another side of the story,


I told him straight up "usually when we talk to people, we only talk about what we think they might be interested in. But on my blogs and other social media sites, I write about many of my interests and sometimes, that's the first time my relatives/peers/whatevers know about those interests even though we knew each other for a while! "

The library intern was like "you got a point there".


He prefers to hide from the world. Fine!


I don't!  I'm on earth to make a statement!

That shouldn't be limited to those with connections to big money publishers, big money radio/TV outlets, big money donors or big government.

In the 1400's, a German inventor Johannes Guttenberg made the printing press. People no longer had to take years to hand-write books. They could now arrange a bunch of letters on a machine, place some ink, and press it on a paper. A faster way of making books. This started a revolution.

You can learn about it at
A Matter of Fact: Printing Transforms Knowledge (Day the Universe Changed – Ep. 4) (45 min)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g70rGW2bwM


And within the last 2 decades, another information revolution occured. With computers and broadband (or wireless) connection, you no longer need an access to a printing press. You can just  stay home (or go to a public library) type your thoughts, and people can access your thoughts from half-way around the world!

You're damn right I'm using that technology to spread my message! 


This isn't the Dark Ages where only the kings and their cronies have access to literacy and information!



And this isn't North Korea or Syria or Sudan, where people are legally limited from freedom of expression.



You're damn right I'm going to take advantage of the freedoms I possess!


Of course, I lost a few "friends" because I believe in using my freedom and using modern technology to speak out against injustices I have experienced or witness! Those "fake friends" and their attitude are poison!  I wrote about that issue at http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2012/08/a-victory-for-internet-age.html 

Now some people will say "dont expose so much of yourself, it might hurt your chances of landing the next job"




Number one, I don't write for the sake of offending people!  I do have some strong opinions, but that's on very important issues!


Number two, as the disclaimer at the top of my blog says :

Nothing written here is an official opinion of any of my past, present and future employers, teachers, friends or relatives! Just myself, written only on my personal free time!

 Number three, I do take calculated risks. I do write about what I think are important issues. I write to defend my honor against slanders and other criticisms.  I write to defend justice.


Is there some employers who might shy away from that? Probably yes.

But you know what?

Martin Luther King took economic risks while protesting
Nelson Mandela took economic risks while protesting
Susan B. Anthony took economic risks while protesting
They took risks to physical safety too!

If they faced much larger risks than I would ever face, why should I back down from expressing reasonable opinions that are about fighting injustice?


Why should I back down from telling the world about examples from my life, something that others might learn from and relate to? 


I'm in the blogging business for a decade.


I will continue to do so as many decades as possible!  


(PS: I'm starting a YouTube channel. I haven't uploaded videos yet!  But I plan to do some "video blogs" (or vlogs). Expressing opinions via video for those who prefer videos over blogs)

Problems at Ka Leo (again).

Earlier this year, I had a blog post "How Ka Leo Lost it's Way"
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-ka-leo-lost-its-way.html

This was after my conflict with then Opinion editors Sarah Nishioka and Tim Metra over the article I wanted to publish called "Arm Our Campus Security"

Well, this semester, we have a new Opinion editor Doorae Shin who was willing to publish that same editorial. The bottom was the version of the same article with Shin's editing (which I have no problem with)

Like many campuses, the University of Hawai‘i at Mānoa has its own security force. They are the eyes and ears of the campus. They look out for suspicious activity, record all reported incidents, give safety tips and even break up fights. But what can they do if there’s a mass shooting on campus? Not much.

Our campus security is unarmed. Sure, the campus security can call the police. But the police cannot secure every area on this island. And when it comes to the UH campus, police are not the first line of defense ¬– they are merely the back-up. And when a shooting occurs, every second counts.

While we wait for the police to arrive in such a situation, should everyone on campus simply hope and pray that the shooter runs out of bullets? It shouldn’t have to be this way. We shouldn’t have to wait for the police to arrive to defend ourselves. We need someone right there ready to shoot back when the bullets start flying.

Real life armed security

There is evidence of the effectiveness of having armed security. Let’s look at Israel, a country surrounded by hostile enemies. In a nation that deals with real terrorism, the people do not just hope and wait for someone to save them, and they do not rely solely on unarmed security. In Israel, the people know that a command presence is no match for an armed psychotic killer without any compassion.

In Israel, armed security at schools is required for schools with over 100 students. (source: http://www.cga.ct.gov/2013/rpt/2013-R-0119.htm ) This has been policy since 1995, and there have been no public school shootings since. (source: http://video.foxnews.com/v/2176061011001/what-america-can-learn-from-israel-about-school-security/ posted 2/19/2013)

Real life example of unarmed security

For those of you who believe that Hawaii is far different from Israel and that we do not need to be paranoid, we can look at Norway as an example. This is a country that has gone decades without facing an external threat. There wasn’t much of an internal threat either. That is until 2011, when a crazed gunman shot a group of teenaged campers.

Not only was the security unarmed, but a large percentage of the police officers were as well. Some in Norway defend the policy by claiming that an unarmed police force makes for a safer society.

(source: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/26/world/europe/26police.html )

However, decades of calm had made Norwegian society complacent. It gave the people the false illusions that they are evolved enough to not require an armed police or security force. Those in Israel know that from hard experience which explains the prevalence of armed security. This is why they take no chances.

While Hawai‘i doesn’t have to deal with the terroristic threat as regularly as the Israelis, we can learn from Norway’s experience and admit that we cannot be complacent, either. It’s time we have a campus security ready for any disaster. It’s time we have a campus security that is ready to shoot back. Lives depend on it.

No slander, no intend to offend, just an opinion on an important !

However, the upper-level editors didn't approve of it. They said it was too paranoid!

Excuse me, too paranoid?

If on September 10, 2001, you mentioned about planes being flown into skyscrapers, you might have been dismissed as being paranoid! (you already know what happened the day after)

The whole point of the article was to discuss how we should respond to events, however unlikely, if they do happen can have extremely devastating consequences! 
   
When Doorae Shin told me about the upper-level editors calling it "too paranoid" I just knew it was  because they wanted to suppress any expression of non-pacifist, non-lefty view points! 

The editing suggestions had NOTHING to do with grammar  (Doorae Shin already took care of that issue) or about verifying facts (I provided citations)!

I then talked to the new faculty advisor. His name is James Gonser.  He was a veteran reporter at Honolulu Advertiser. That newspaper was your typical center-left newspaper with its official editorial ALWAYS calling for more gun control.

And what do you know?  He suggested I add other ways to prevent campus shootings (ie social workers, etc) into the same article NEVERMIND THAT THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ROOM IN A NEWSPAPER OPINION ARTICLE TO GO OVER EVERY SINGLE WAY TO PREVENT A CAMPUS SHOOTING! 

If I did add all that, guess what the editors will say  --- "too broad, need a narrower focus" 


And yeah, the faculty advisor (James Gonser) is a gun-phobic extremist.   He said in snarling voice that it's scary to have armed campus security!, but he did admit it was an opinion. But it did give an insight to his view of the world and why he defended the gun-phobic upper-level editors.


I also told Gonser that I was an Opinion writer for Ka Leo back in my undergraduate years (2000-2004) and that back then an article like that would've been published. I also told him that the editors of that era  allowed for combative, edgy editorials


Gonser then said in a snarling voice "You Think That's a Good Thing"

I told him that it was much more interesting and entertaining!

Gonser then complained that it is "Fox News style" (notice Gonser's  liberal bias there, notice he didn't compare it to "Bill Maher's style" who is also edgy, combative and confrontational ) and that Ka Leo is now more about being professional! Blah, Blah, Blah!

I then told Gonser and Doorae Shin that it will take me some time to digest all of what they said

---------


Well, guess what?

After that meeting, the Ka Leo had a new controversy. 

In promoting the Arts Festival ( which happened 10/24/2013), they sponsored a few murals on the walls surrounding the still-renovating Campus Center!

Well, one of the murals protested against the new telescope (sponsored by UH) on Mauna Kea.

The Ka Leo staff covered up the written message on that mural! 

Jessica Homrich / Ka Leo O Hawai‘i

 The mural 

Well, that pissed off a lot of activists on campus, bringing a whole bunch of them protesting outside the Ka Leo office! 

 

Jessica Homrich / Ka Leo O Hawai‘i

students protesting outside the Ka Leo office

With all this pressure, the Board of Publications (who governs Ka Leo and other student publications)  published an apology in this week's edition of the Ka Leo

my photograph of the apology 

printed in Ka Leo's Volumer 109, Issue 23

Board of Publication's apology

------

During that whole controversy, I was still thinking about what to do in response to the editor's suggestion to my editorial on campus security!


Well,I have an answer now!




I will put up posters around campus saying this

Ka Leo

Doesn’t just censor murals

They also censored an opinion article

expressing the need for armed campus security

The Editors refused to publish

saying it was too paranoid!

Their faculty advisor is a gun-phobic person

who says an armed campus security is “scary”

I think what’s even scarier is if an incident happen

and the campus security can’t do anything but wait for help

Read and judge for yourself!

then I will put QR codes for this blog post!

Whether I will still be allowed to write for Ka Leo, whatevers!!!!!! 

If they won't publish my editorial on a crucial issue, why should I defer to them? 

Plus, it's not like they have much credibility on campus right now! 

I feel bad for putting Doorae Shin in this position, but I need to take a stand against the upper-level editors! Them and their faculty advisor needs to be exposed to the light!

PS: I'm taking a class on Intellectual Freedom this semester. The class discussed the mural issue, but I haven't talked to them about my issues with the editors . I might to have next class if someone else brings it up. Stay tuned!