Wednesday, April 27, 2016

the legacy of a Prince

About a week ago, musician Prince Roger Nelson (aka "Prince") died in his mansion in Minnesota!

Prince was a singer who also played his guitar and his music combined elements of rock, funk, pop, R&B, hip-hop and more.

He started making records in the late 70's and rose to super-stardom in the 1980's, putting him as that decade's musical royalty along with Micheal Jackson and Madonna!  He continued making hits in the early 1990's, but by the end of the decade, he had more attention to his name change (a symbol that couldn't be pronounced,  and therefore become known as "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince") as well as his dispute with Warner Brothers Records.

In the 21st century, he known mostly for blocking his content from appearing on YouTube,  his reclusiveness. as well as his ever changing views on controversial topics.


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Now, I want to share a few thoughts on the Artist Forever Known as Prince




1) my memories of Prince

Being that I was born in 1980, I was too young to pay attention to his 80's hits when they came out.

I first became aware of Prince in 1991. I was in 5th grade that time and I was new to watching MTV (which was actually Music Television at the time, and actually played music at the time).

Prince's hit song was "Get Off". By then, he ditched his purple gear and moved on to yellow.

But that video "Get Off". It was super-raunchy with both genders being half-naked and doing sexual dances.  It was like watching a half-naked "orgy" before I even knew what an orgy was!

To top it all off, was the 1991 MTV Video Music Awards, with Prince performing "Get Off" and his showing his rear end to the end!  The MTV awards performance was way more explicit than Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl halftime!


Also, that song had a banging beat with great bass and more!

Everything else that came before & after that song just couldn't compete!



2) Gender

That video also brought another aspect of Prince!


Most men who would wear feminine outfits (especially with the color purple) (also revealing outfits) and sing with a high-pitched voice are commonly stereotyped as being "gay" as in homosexual!


But in nearly every video, Prince was not only dancing with women, but they women with the "supermodel" look! Women who are seen as "the sexiest women on earth".

As I mentioned on facebook about Prince and David Bowie (who also died earlier this year)



David Bowie & Prince: musical legends who re-assured males who don't conform to traditional masculinity they too can get the hottest looking women in the world wink emoticon



I find this very important because many males who don't conform to the jock or gangsta image commonly get accussed of being "gay" and "fags" even when they're not homosexual! This stigma doesn't only gets attached to feminine looking boys but also to any male seen as "weak" or "unathletic".


Many males would get nervous even wearing anything pink or holding anything related to "Hello Kitty" for the fear of being seen as "gay".

Males who do such things and say "I'm not gay" are accused of "hiding in the closet", and  "having a closet made of very transparent glass" and more!

As far as I'm concerned, a male can wear all the pink Hello Kitty gear, work in mostly female environments, have a flower on his ear, be interested in gardening & interior design and still have super-horny excitement about doing sexual things with multiple women!

I wear masculine clothing (I want big pockets and therefore prefer baggy pants over skinny jeans), got that mustache like Ice-T and Metallica's James Hetfeld. I  spend at least once a week lifting weights, and a major fan of UH football! Grew up with heavy metal & gangsta rap! Also wanted to be a Ninja Turtle! Lots of masculine stuff in me!


But my career has been mostly in occupations dominated by women (schools, libraries, retail)

I listen to a lot of bubbly teen pop!

 ...........and   I love stuffed animals :)    

Yes I visit Sanrio for the Hello Kitty stuff  (though my favorite character is the masculine Badtz-Maru)! But I have no shame is saying Hello Kitty is cute too! And yes, I like some of the stickers sold at Morning Glory! 




Despite being into all that "girly" stuff,  my sexuality is straight as the straightest line out there!  Going to the clubs and dancing with the ladies is one of my favorite activities ;) 



I don't "kiss & tell" but there's some other fun stories with the ladies as well :) 



While Jerry Seinfeld's TV character was right in saying there's nothing wrong with being gay Prince & David Bowie showed us that having a feminine side doesn't stop you from having the horniest fantasies (and realities) with the hottest women out there!



3) mixed racial ancestries


Prince identified with being African-American, though it was obvious that he had some European ancestry too!  His parents were both of mixed-race.

When African-Americans were being enslaved, some of the European masters raped some of the female slaves!


After slavery, race-mixing was banned in many states, but didn't stop some European-Americans having sexual relations (including consensual, non-consensuals, marriages or affairs) with African-Americans.

However, the legacy of slavery included the "one-drop rule" in which those with even slightest amount of DNA from the African race were just considered "black" and "non-white" and therefore not qualified for any privileges given to those purely of the European race!

However, even centuries later, even with a US president with an African father and European-American mother, there's still people invested in a "one-drop rule".

Even though Barack Obama grew up in a European-American household and attended a school in Hawaii with a reputation for being a "haole school", that didn't matter to white supremacists who were so upset of him becoming president that early in his 2008 campaign, the Secret Service had to step in and provide him protection way earlier than they normally would for those running for president.

But it's not just white supremacists who are so invested in the "one-drop rule".  When Beyonce appeared in a cosmetics ad highlighting her African, French & Native American ancestries,  and when the fact got repeated in the "Inter-racial Dating" facebook page, there were people who so adamant that "Beyonce is just black" as if they were insulted that someone even thought that Beyonce also had non-African ancestries as well!

Here's one screenshot that I took last year







And the same happened for Prince.


Daily Beast writer Stereo Williams was hopping mad that journalist mentioning his multi-racial background! His attitude was "How dare the journalist act as if he wasn't purely of African-American ancestry"
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/04/24/prince-loved-his-blackness-and-yours.html


My facebook response to that

Yes, Prince loved his blackness, but dammit, he was also multi-racial and too bad if you don't like it! This idiotic "one drop rule" from the slavery days make it sound like you should only identify as either "black" or "white", when you can be both.......... and more!

It is writers like Stereo Williams who disrespect millions of multi-racial people out there with his nonsense that people should only be identified by one part of themselves!



I also mentioned in other comments to discussion boards that many times, a multi-racial person might identify with one side more than the other!

Prince grew up in a family that culturally identifies more with African-American culture than European-American culture!  That doesn't mean his multi-racial background doesn't exist, it just means he relates to African-American culture more!

AS for me, I might have a German last name, but not a single relative of mine that I met was of pure-German ancestry. My grandfather with a mix of German-Portuguese ancestry died months before I was born! My mother also had Puerto Rican mother. My father is from Mexico and while he had mixed ancestries, his looks lean more to the native side of Mexico! So yes, I look Latino and identify with more the Latino side! But please don't say about me,  "he's just Latino, that's it!" because that's NOT TRUE!

Respect people's multiple ethnicities and racial ancestries!

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Racial Irritations and Tiny Aggressions

One can easily unintentionally offend others!

Even the ones most ready to remind others to stop being offensive can easily unintentionally offend others!

For example, there is a movement on college campuses and on social media to  raise awareness about "microaggressions", which has been usually referred to  as irritating someone with stereotypical questions or assumptions.


But, the term "microaggression" can easily be taken the wrong way.

There is a reason why people in Hawaii (and  other Pacific Islands) would hesitate to use the term "microagressions"


That's because out in the Pacific,  the word "micro" is a racially loaded word used to refer to Micronesians, a group of Pacific Islanders who have ancestral ties to islands in the western Pacific Islands (ie. Guam, Northern Marianas, Palau, Marshall Islands, Chuuk, Pohnpei (Ponape), Kosrae, Yap, Nauru, Kiribati, and more).

Many of those Micronesian islands were (and some still are) US territories with low economic opportunity. Many from those islands come to Hawaii for economic opportunity and face culture shock and racist discrimination.

(Learn more at http://www.civilbeat.com/2015/10/an-untold-story-of-american-immigration/)

One of the commonly used racial slurs is "micro", which like other racial slurs, can be used by the people of that group (ie. "I'm a micro", "I'm a n-----a", "I'm a haole") but is also commonly used as racist attacks (ie. "f'----n micro", " you f------ haole", "those n-----rs")!


The thing with racial words is that ears perk up when they are heard!

I mean we all know all conversation come to a screeching halt if some non-black person in (for example) Atlanta uses the N-word!

The same would happen if someone in Hawaii uses any word with the word "micro".

Even innocent words like "microwaves" have been use to insult Micronesians!

Which is why there is NO movement to "raise awareness about microaggressions" at the University of Hawaii campuses. Because that word "microaggressions" would obviously sound stigmatizing towards the Micronesian population.


Being that I'm in Hawaii, and much of my facebook has Hawaii ties, even I hesitate to post any article with the title "microaggression" or to even type the word "microaggression" in the posts because people WILL take that word in the wrong way!


================


So I strongly suggest to racial activists everywhere to STOP using the term "microaggression"


Just use terms like "stupid questions", "racial irritations" or "racial assumptions" in case you want to refer to situations where someone irritate you with questions and assumptions based on racial/gender/etc stereotypes! 



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Also, while some questions are insulting (ie. "where are you REALLY from"), I don't think every question should take be taken personally.  I'm NOT offended if someone asks me a question about a Mexican cultural aspect that I don't have much personal experience with! Sometimes, a question is just a question! 




Monday, April 11, 2016

no guarantees against bullies

I was riding on the bus going home today, where I  heard a woman telling a young girl (early elementary age) "you have to hit those girls picking on you, and they'll leave you alone!"

It's one thing to train children to stand up for themselves, but telling them "if you hit back, the bullies will leave you alone" is GIVING THEM UNREALISTIC HOPES!

The chances are, bullies pick on people they can outnumber! That's the whole point!

You hit someone who has more allies than you, you are not only going to get a beat down, the bullies are going to continue remind you that they gave you a beat down! 

Children know that, that's why they don't hit back against bullies who outnumber them! 

Also, YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL WITH THIS "you need to hit those who bully you" advice because once you train someone to lose control of their anger....................... that is hard to turn off that advice later in life! 

And then what? You hit a person who pissed you off, then you'll  get arrested , convicted, then you'll really be living with the professional bullies ........ in prison! 

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Teach the kids to stand up for themselves using words! Teach the kids physical self-defense! 

But DO NOT give them unrealistic Hollywood fiction BS cliche's like "you hit your bullies, they'll leave you alone"

Life is  NOT A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE!  



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PS: here's some blog posts on this topic

http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2014/01/locker-room-manhood-and-bullying.html

http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2010/03/dealing-with-bullies.html

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Public Statement on due process

Here in Hawaii, you can testify about bills in the legislature online. You don't even have to attend the meeting to be heard!

I did just that when Hawaii Free Press (a conservative news website) had an article listing gun-related bills being discussed in the Hawaii state legislature.

I rarely have time to attend legislative meetings, so I send some online testimony via http://www.capitol.hawaii.gov/


Well, some reporter from the Associated Press (yes, a national press agency) found my quote, 
and not only was it posted in the article (which has been posted in newspapers in various cities), the facebook post advertising that article in the Star-Advertiser  had my quote on it!


“Doing something about gun violence doesn’t make it OK to take someone’s gun possession rights away without due process,” Pablo Wegesend said in opposition to the bill.



And my quote being quoted?

"Gun Owners object to bill allowing seizure of weapons from mentally ill."



“Doing something about gun violence doesn’t make it OK to take someone’s gun possession rights away without due process,” Pablo Wegesend said in opposition to the bill.


Now, when a statement becomes public, I tend to clarify myself just in case someone wants to twist my words.

So in response, I posted this in the comments related to that article!


OK, my quote was an online testimony, didn't expect to see it displayed prominently, but I stand by what I said about due process! Anyone who loses a right has the right to question the authorities, who sometimes make mistakes (sometimes on purpose).

Authorities should prove beyond a reasonable doubt before taking anyone's rights away!

If someone is proven to be too dangerous to have a gun, he/she is too dangerous to be out of jail. But that has to be proven through a legal process in which the accused gets to question the accuser!



I'm not saying we should automatically believe an accused person begging for his/her rights, but we shouldn't automatically believe a law enforcement authority either!


You want to talk about the "dangers of the mentally ill?"  What exactly does that mean anyways?  

Being "mentally ill" doesn't mean you are dangerous! 


Here are some great comments to that Star Advertiser article in which I was quoted!



comment from "choyd" 
The question is what defines mentally ill? Furthermore, someone who is mentally ill is not necessarily a threat to others or themselves.


I understand the intent behind this bill, and unlike Winston, I don’t think we should be arming the mentally deranged, but mentally ill does not equate to mentally deranged. Having a friend who talks to imaginary friends but otherwise isn’t a threat to anyone having his right to firearms taking away would be trampling of civil rights. But, someone who is clearly a danger to others and themselves should have their firearm rights at least temporarily suspended.


and another comment

HawaiiCheeseBall says:An emergency hospitalization does no necessarily mean a persons is a threat to him/herself or other. There are many reasons for emergency hospitalizations. However, the proposed law does not seem unreasonable. You do not want someone going through a psychotic episode having access to a gun, that’s a recipe for disaster. The main thing is that the law and accompanying administrative rules spell out the conditions that must be present before a firearm can be confiscated, and a reasonable process for the return of the firearm to the owner. 


Again, I have to make myself clear, I am NOT saying everyone should go out and get a gun!

I am NOT saying we should give "slaps on wrists" for someone who committed a dangerous act! 

I am NOT saying that we shouldn't take gun violence seriously!

I am NOT saying we shouldn't any threats seriously!


I am just asking that any confiscation (whether it's guns, cars, whatevers) by a legal authority should be done with due process!

I am just asking that anyone who is facing confiscation should have the right to question his/her accusers!

I hope my quote (being more public and more viral than I expected) will at least get the lawmakers to implement due process procedures before taking away any individual's rights and property!

Friday, March 18, 2016

I'm now a professional musician


Earlier this week, I had a blog post "One step closer to be a professional musician!" 
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2016/03/one-step-closer-to-be-professional.html

My entrepreneurial dreams are being realized. I have become a digital musician and independent contractor. 



Now, Pablo the Mad Tiger Warrior finally has some music for sale!


2 songs are now available via CD Baby, an independent distribution company. Both are instrumental tracks. 

You can find those songs at http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/PablotheMadTigerWarrior


CD Baby, despite it's name, isn't just about CDs, it also sells online downloads.  So far, I'm just focused on selling singles so at this time, I'll just stick with selling downloads. When I'm ready to put out whole albums, then I'll sell CDs.


Anyways, here's a few things I want to share



1) Distribution (and why CD Baby?)


In the pre-internet days, music distribution is about getting your music into record stores.

Smaller record labels would make deals with larger corporations to get their music into stores nationwide  (for example  Nothing Records and Death Row Records once had distribution deals with Interscope in the 90's to get their items in the stores).

But with the internet, music distribution has changed! Much of the music transaction has moved online, with many people buying downloads via iTunes, Google Play, Amazon Music and more. Also, many people are streaming music from Pandora, Spotify, Apple Music and more.


To get your music on all those forums, online distribution companies like TuneCore, CD Baby and Reverb Nation get your music there! Submit some songs, pay a fee, and those music distribution companies will get your music on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, SlackerRadio and more! Those music distribution companies also have deals with Performance Rights Organizations (ie. ASCAP, BMI) that would collect publishing royalty payments whenever your song gets played on radio, nightclubs, and even the stereos of businesses.


Unlike traditional record companies,  online music distribution companies (ie TuneCore, CD Baby, ReverbNation)  do not  manage artists, nor do they really do marketing campaigns, nor do they fund tours or music videos. The musicians are on their own for that!

But the great side of that is

  • I manage my music content. No corporate person telling me what music to make
  • I retain ownership of copyright
  • I get most of the revenue, whereas musicians in traditional record labels get chump change! 

The first online music distribution company I heard about was TuneCore.

TuneCore does have cheaper fees for artists to submit songs. TuneCore also lets you keep 100% of all the revenue.

The problem is, to keep your song on their distribution system, you have to pay annual fees. In other words, you don't pay annual fee per song, Tune Core will erase your song from iTunes, Google Play, etc.

If you can't pay any more annual fees per song because you're dead, your musical legacy is wiped off the entire TuneCore distribution network!

With CD Baby, you already paid your one-time fee

Here's an article making comparisons between TuneCore, CD Baby, and ReverbNation


CD Baby just charges you  once,  the other guys charge you for the same song every year


more from that article


Which Service to Choose?
In my opinion, CDBaby. Don’t take my opinion as gold, but here are the reasons why I would choose CDBaby over the other two services.

1. What if your band breaks up?

Who’s going to be stuck paying for these fees? You love what you’ve done with your band, and you want your tunes to be available forever. Also, it’d be nice to keep receiving the occasional payment for your years of hard work. But, if you’re paying hundreds of dollars per year in subscription fees, you’re a bit screwed without a touring band to support those costs.
With CDBaby, you don’t have to worry about this.

2. Changes in cost

Tunecore used to cost $34.95 per year and just raised their costs to $49.99 per year (over much bashing in the media). Now, you’re stuck with higher yearly fees unless you cancel and start over with a different service.
With CDBaby, you don’t have to worry about this. You’ve already paid.

3. Losing all your reviews, tags, and social clout

If you want to change services or discontinue your yearly subscription, your music will be removed from every digital distribution platform. That means all your reviews, tags, likes, shares, streams, etc. All gone in a blink of an eye.
With CDBaby, again, no worries.

4. Compound costs are unsustainable.

Consider a band that stays together for 10 years and has released 5 albums. They will be paying around $250 per year. Now, they’ve also released multiple singles over that time. Let’s say they have 10 singles, so they’ll be paying $99.50 per year, as well.
It may not sound like much, but a single can be recorded for about $300.
CDBaby, you’ve only paid that amount once. Not yearly.

5. You have to sell a lot of music to justify the costs

Considering you are probably getting chump change per download, you would have to be selling hundreds of downloads per year to simply cover the costs.
With CDBaby, you can earn over time to cover the initial cost. If your sales don’t do well, you can still make up the initial costs over a period of time. (Long tail sales.)



What this chart and article doesn't tell you is that CD Baby charges even more (for it's one-time fee) if you want CD Baby to collect publishing royalty payments.  But at least with that option, you collect more money in the long run!



2) Licensing

Another way musicians make money is if their song gets used in movies, advertisements and video games.

CD Baby does offer the Sync Licensing Option, in which they chose who is using your music in ads/films/games/etc.  I decided not to chose that option.

I don't want my music used to advertise alcohol, political campaigns I don't agree with, or any products I'm boycotting!

So anyone who wants to use my music for their advertisements, films, shows, or video games, just contact me at madtigerwarrior@yahoo.com. Same applies for anyone who wants to sample my tracks for their songs!


3) back to iTunes, Google Play et al

CD Baby does sell their musician's songs on their website, and also distributes them (with musician's permission) to other online stores (ie. iTunes, Google Play, etc.)

CD Baby gets first dibs. Which is why CD Baby gets to sell my songs for downloads first. In about a month, my songs should appear on iTunes, Google Play, etc.

I am boycotting anything related to Amazon for now. I started the boycott when reports emerge that the company tracks every movement by their employee, even how often they use the bathroom. As someone who takes medication to control my over-active bladder, that alone make me want to boycott Amazon. To make it even worse, Amazon was reported to have an abusive work environment in even more ways.

Learn more at "Inside Amazon: Wrestling Big Ideas in a Bruising Workplace" 
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/16/technology/inside-amazon-wrestling-big-ideas-in-a-bruising-workplace.html?_r=0



While I don't expect every workplace to be utopias, great companies will solve those types of problems instead of encouraging those problems.


I use Barnes & Nobles to buy my books and CDs. 

And I don't sell my music via Amazon unless I hear news reports about improving work culture at Amazon!




 4) What the future holds

For now, I'll just stick with releasing 2 songs per month. I don't want to over-burden my fans with too much stuff at once!

Hopefully, if there's enough songs of a similar style, I might even release an album!


It will take a while for payments to come in (if they actually come, since some songs have spent years on iTunes without a single buyer).  I'm definitely not quitting my day job anytime soon!



Monday, March 14, 2016

One step closer to be a professional musician!

My entrepreneurial dreams are being realized. I have become a digital musician and independent contractor. 


As earlier blog posts indicate, my music will be released under the stage name Pablo The Mad Tiger Warrior





I have chosen CD Baby as an online music distributor! If things go right on their end, you should see at least 2 tracks soon available for download via iTunes, Google Play, CD Baby and more!



Here's the official webpage for Pablo The Mad Tiger Warrior

http://pablothemadtigerwarrior.blogspot.com/





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and for the debut track on YouTube


Pablo the Mad Tiger Warrior's 

Jam with the Arp Stab

There's more coming soon! 


Thursday, March 10, 2016

last name changes

For those of us on social media, most of us have thoughts we kinda want to share, but afraid it will piss of those on our friend's list!

I'm really open with my thoughts on political & social issues, whether it's mega-divisive issues like gun control, abortion, drug policy,  police abuse, cultural "appropriation" and the like!


But for my thoughts on people changing last names when they marry?   

I hate that tradition, but  many of my facebook friends did just that!  I sure don't want to alienate at least a 1/3 of my friends on something so very personal!

Well, today, I got prompted by an article about a woman who reluctantly took her husband's last name, then went back to her maiden name.


"Why I’m Returning to My Maiden Name" by Em LaFave Olson


How utterly dispiriting that we have created a world and naming lineage where a married woman cannot carry on her family’s name and legacy. When a girl is born, we speak, feel and act as if it’s the end of the line. That she is not equal to a man in this way. Perhaps the most ironic part is that it is the woman that physically carries and births a new generation.
more 

When the time finally arrived to make the decision for my own name, there wasn’t an easy answer. I felt personally conflicted for a while, (as I came to learn, many women do). Ten years after our first conversation about marriage I had grown up a lot and shaped my own identity.
more
For the two years after our wedding day, the examples piled up. The awkward transitioning of social handles and my public identity, not being able to recognize high school friends social profiles after they’d changed their names, 

and this

After two years with my new last name, LaFave, I knew for sure it was time to turn back. I shared this with Rob, and he was understandably hurt.

But I asked him to see it from my perspective, would you ever change your name to my name? “No”, he said. “I wouldn’t”.
So together we came up with an option we hadn’t considered the first time around (inspired by our friends Ted & Fiona). A name that celebrated our individuality but also showed our shared commitment to this new family we had created by joining together in partnership. We’ll each keep our last name and take the other’s name as our middle name. 


( I do know one high school classmate who took that route, with her AND her husband combining last names)

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Here is my facebook post sharing how I related to that article

I could relate to this in some way, since I got my mom's last name! At the time of my birth, my parent's weren't officially married! After I became an adult, my parent's got officially married and my mom took my dad's last name! My reaction was "WTF you changing your name now?" I was mad my mom didn't keep her last name, but she insisted that I respect her choice! I dont mean to offend those of you who chose to change your last name when you got married! I hope it don't piss you off to the point you expell me from your fb friends list! I'm just expressing how an article related to my life, that's all!



I could relate to this in some way, since I got my mom's last name! At the time of my birth, my parent's weren't officially married! After I became an adult, my parent's got officially married and my mom took my dad's last name! My reaction was "WTF you changing your name now?" I was mad my mom didn't keep her last name, but she insisted that I respect her choice!

I dont mean to offend those of you who chose to change your last name when you got married! I hope it don't piss you off to the point you expell me from your fb friends list! I'm just expressing how an article related to my life, that's all!



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Yes, I wasn't happy when my mom changed her last name! That announcement took me by surprise after they came back from a Las Vegas vacation (yeah, I know, the cliches) and said "hey, we finally married" and "mom's has dad's last name now"


This traumatized BIG TIME because for all my childhood and adolesence, I thought it was cool that my mom kept her last name! While my mother wasn't a feminist activist (or any type of activist) I just thought, hey, we're a modernized family! 

Little did I know that the only reason they didn't get officially get married (or changed last names) before I turned 18 was for .................single parent benefits! 


Yeah, I know, benefits! 

And after I told my mother my reactions to all this, she said that at the time, she didn't understood how all this would've influenced her children! 

Little did she know that by waiting until I graduated from high school before she officially married my dad was going to influence my thoughts on marriage and last names!

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But yeah, I do list her now official  name (with my dad's last name) on forms for "emergency contacts" as well as any letters I sent to her via mail!

It's her name, not mines. I just have to live with that fact!

------


But as for me, I DO NOT want future wife to take my last name! I want her to keep her last name! I want her to keep her own identity! 

Because as far as I'm concerned, taking a spouse's last name is saying "I'm his property".  Well, I don't view adults as my property! Adults should keep their own identity, even if they get married!

By the way, most marriages don't last. The politically incorrect reality is that people change, relationships change, and people going their separate ways isn't some type of "liberal evil" but just reality!

So yeah, even if you find someone you love so much that you want to spend the rest of your life together ................

  • don't be other people's property
  • keep your own identity
  • be your own person
  • stay your own person
  • keep your own name

If he/she loves you, then he/she will accept that!


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PS: Again, I dont mean to traumatize those who chose to take their husband's last name, Do you what you want!  I'm just stating my reasons for my thought!


PS #2: After posting my facebook post, a classmate from a Southeast Asian country stated 

I got my own name, no affiliation with either my mom or dad. That's the culture for most back home :)" 
grin emoticon