Let's be real: many bullies do their dirt because they view pleas for kindness as a green light, as a weakness to exploit! They only understand power, strength, and intimidation, and sometimes you have to communicate in a language they understand. This is not an endorsement of violence, it's an explanation of reality. An explanation of reality doesn't mean I like that reality.
We can talk about "free speech", "be the bigger person", "violence is not the answer", yada yada yada, all day & all night. But let's be real, a person can only take so much abuse before they lash out! You can only hold so much pent-up rage inside for so long. This is magnified when the disrespect is so public.
I can laugh out loud with the best of them, but we also have to be real about the fact that many comedians thrive on bullying the vulnerable. And to protect themselves from retaliation, comedians say "it's just a joke". That statement is powerful because people fear being accused of "not taking a joke" or "you too sensitive". I think people fear that MUCH MORE than they fear snakes, sharks, or hurricanes. This " you can't take a joke" gives comedians leeway to further bully their targets into not fighting back.
Me (and most of u) remember trying to laugh off an insult to keep yourself from either crying or lashing out with rage! because people truly fear being accused of "not being able to take a joke".
And this is where Will Smith and Chris Rock come in. Both are big-time entertainers since the 1990s. Will Smith specializes in light-hearted jokes. Chris Rock, on the other hand, specializes in mean-spirited jokes. But of course, he wouldn't dare try it at the Source Awards (a now-defunct hip-hop award show) where the big names have entourages of people coming straight off the streets (or sometimes even straight out of parole). So, therefore, Chris Rock prefers to do his mean-spirited attacks at the Oscars or the MTV awards where the big names are less likely to retaliate.
Chris Rock made a joke about Jada-Pinkett Smith's bald head, nevermind that it's due to a medical condition called alopecia. At first, Will Smith tried to laugh it off (like most people targeted by insulting jokes), but you can only take the abuse so long. So Will Smith went on stage to slap Chris Rock.
All the virtue-signalers on social media start claiming that Will Smith committed an act of "toxic masculinity". BULL-NONSENSE. Will Smith took a stand AGAINST toxic masculinity by putting Chris Rock on notice that his comedic bullying is not acceptable. People like Chris Rock thrive on ridiculing the sensitive. Saying "please don't hurt my feelings" doesn't work on Chris Rock.
Plus, Will Smith did have some level of restraint by walking off stage after giving Chris Rock just one slap. Do you think someone like Suge Knight would show that kind of restraint? We all know the answer is no!
One of my friends on social media did have a good point that Will Smith could've taken the mic from Chris Rock and made this statement
he could have calmly walked up to the mike, explained to everyone that Jada has a medical condition called alopecia, shared her struggles with it, why she has decided to embrace it instead of hiding it, and that he loves and supports her no matter what. Then he could have walked off the stage leaving Chris to look like a completely insensitive jerk. I think that would have been a more powerful approach.
I agree that would've been a more powerful approach.
But I still won't fault Will Smith's action, because in real-time, you won't always be able to think through all the options under duress.
Let's also remember that back in the 1990s, when the hip-hop world was moving away from pop-rap and towards gangsta rap, Will Smith was ridiculed as being a "soft rapper". Being called "soft" (especially in a hyper-masculine environment) can definitely cause some psychological issues that make you want to overcompensate, to show the world you're not soft!
I remember growing up, people asking me "why didn't you fight that guy?" after being insulted. What did I learn from that! I learned that it's cool to lose control of your anger. That kind of messaging is hard to turn off even as you mature into a work world where losing control of your anger can get you fired.
Violence should be a last resort. But sometimes, that's all you got left.
Back in 2019, I dealt with a drunk former classmate Patsaya Mounthongdy who ridiculed me in front of others about my refusal to drink alcoholic beverages. First, I shrugged it off. (that's the fear of being accused of "can't take a joke"). Later on, I talked to Patsaya in private to stop ridiculing me, that I have serious reasons to not drink alcoholic beverages, that I take the issue seriously. (this is the "please don't hurt my feeling" plea) At first, he was apologetic. A few minutes later, as the venue was shutting down, he started to ridicule me again, by yelling out "Pablo, you ruined the vibe of the party." That's when I snapped! I pulled out a pepper spray, pointed it at his face, and yelled to him "SHUT THE F---- UP!"
Only then did he take it seriously.
Me shrugging off an insult DID NOT WORK!
Me pleading with him to not hurt my feelings DID NOT WORK!
People like him only understand ridicule, strength, and intimidation. But pointing a pepper spray and yelling at him to "SHUT THE F---- UP!", I spoke to him in a language that he understands.
My experience with bullies also informed me that merely walking away would've just empowered him to follow me and continue the insults.
Also, anyone with street smarts would know that he would've jumped on me the minute he sees me taking out a phone to call the police.
A threat of getting pepper sprayed is THE ONLY REASON Patsaya backed off!
A person who saw me snapping at Patsaya but didn't witness the earlier insults from Patsaya told me that I should've been more "professional". Excuse me, I've done that MULTIPLE TIMES before I snapped. Patsaya doesn't understand professional communications, he thinks that type of stuff is for wusses.
Learn more about the incident at
https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2019/06/my-20th-year-reunion.html
https://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2019/07/still-resisting-peer-pressure-to-drink.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se1i4xC1C54
Some people reading this will assume I'm endorsing violence. No, I'm explaining reality!
The same reality that says that "1+1=2 is true" regardless of how you feel about "1+1+2".
============
I also want to respond to social media statements that "white people shouldn't be commenting on black people's business".
As far as I'm concerned, anyone can have an informed opinion about a situation involving anyone of any race. It's called "judging people by the content of their character".
Will Smith and Chris Rock have been in the public eye for decades, they have a long track record that people of all ancestries can analyze and make conclusions.
The incident also happened on a widely viewed telecast, this isn't behind closed doors. It happened in a mostly "white" environment, of course, they're going to have an opinion about it.
I didn't get mad when non-Latine people expressed opinions about the behaviors of Aaron Hernandez or Tekashi 69. I don't assume that anyone who criticized their behaviors automatically wants me deported to the other side of the border.
Anyone's behavior is fair game.
And if Chris Rock can transition away from making mean-spirited jokes, and if all the other "politically incorrect" people can transition away from making mean-spirited statements, then we can really be closer to Rodney King's dream of a world where we can all get along!
