I saw this article about how pop singer Mandy Moore refused to give an interview with a journalist who insists on asking about past traumas that she already discussed multiple times already!
https://www.scarymommy.com/mandy-moore-interview-canceled-trauma/
In an Instagram story, Moore shared an email with an interviewer where they explain that unless Moore is willing to talk about her first husband (who we won’t name here out of respect for her), they would not go forward with the interview.
Moore posted a screenshot of the email (with names redacted, of course) alongside her own public statement explaining why it’s so violating for a reporter to act like they (and the world) are entitled to access to the most traumatic parts of her life on demand.
I agree with Moore's approach (though I personally wouldn't redact names, but that's just how I roll) because I've had "friends" who insisted on asking me questions about past traumas, even though it involved past conflicts with people I haven't even seen in over a decade! I snapped at those so-called "friends", and sent them emails calling them "energy vampires" because constant discussions of those types of things drain my energy!
That same "friend" even had the nerve to ask me if I had mental illnesses and Aspergers.
Excuse me, who appointed you to be my psychiatrist?
If you're not my psychiatrist (or a similar type of professional), then don't ask me these questions.
I also had "friends" who are on the opposite extreme. These "friends" want me to be silent about traumas at all times. They tell me "let it go, don't let it get to you" . Yet, when I point out their hypocrisies, they act all hurt and called my other friends acting all traumatized because I pointed out these hypocrisies.
I HATE talking about traumas. I'm more comfortable writing about past traumas than I am talking about it!
This is where my blog comes in! I write it out, leave it for the world to read it. But that's all the world is going to get from me!
As for those so-called "friends" who advise me to not blog about my traumas, they are not my allies, they are my enemies to be destroyed!
Actually, I did blog about that one "friend" who advised me to not blog about my past traumas . At the time, I mentioned his name. He then called my other friends in emotional distress, which is more proof of his hypocrisy. I took down that blog post in hopes we could reunite in the 20th year reunion. He didn't show up!
But he did write blog posts expressing emotional distress about my blog posts expressing disagreement with him (nevermind that he advised me not to blog about my traumas) though he didn't mention my name. I took the high road by not adding fuel to the fire. But if he does respond to this, I can guarantee more fuel!
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As far as I'm concerned, real friends will back you up when you're dealing with a problem, but they also won't insist that you keep talking about it! Real friends will also give you space with some moments of silence which does wonders in de-escalating situations.
Real friends will also boost your spirit by talking about common enjoyable interests. By talking about common enjoyable interests and participating in enjoyable activities, you contribute to boosting your friends' spirits and their mental health. :)
