http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4970050
For the second time in a year, Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is being accused of sexual misconduct, with police investigating him Saturday for an alleged assault at a nightclub in a Georgia college town.
Police in Milledgeville were examining the claim of a 20-year-old student, who told an officer that Roethlisberger sexually assaulted her early Friday.
(skipped paragraphs)
The case comes as Roethlisberger faces a lawsuit filed last July by a woman who says he raped her in 2008 at a Lake Tahoe hotel and casino, an allegation he strongly denies. Roethlisberger, who was not in custody, has not been criminally charged in either case and has claimed counter-damages in the lawsuit.
----------
1) While the local DA didn't pursue a criminal court case, the NFL did suspend Roethlisberger for 6 games next season.
The NFL wanted to show that it doesn't tolerate misbehavior by its players, that playing in the NFL is a privilege, not an entitlement! Also, in earlier case, some people have accused the NFL of racial bias for suspending African-American players like Micheal Vick and Pacman Jones. But guess what? The NFL is also willing to suspend European-Americans guy like Roethlisberger. No racial bias in NFL suspensions!
--
2) Now, back to that article I mention earlier! The following paragraph from that article talked about a woman who met Roethlisberger earlier that night!
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4970050
Amber Hanley, a 21-year-old college student, said she and a few friends were also in the VIP area with Roethlisberger. She said she asked the quarterback to take a photo with her friend, who was a fan, but he seemed disappointed that's all she wanted. Hanley said she rolled her eyes, and Roethlisberger called her an expletive and walked away. Later, Roethlisberger was aggressively hitting on another girl, Hanley said.
Now, look at what I highlighted in bold print. That shows a disturbing sense of entitlement that too many males have! Too many males have the attitude of "if a girl wants to talk to me, or even smile at me, she better be ready to have sex with me tonight! Or else!"
All that woman wanted was a photo. Yet, Roethlisberger acted as if that woman owed him a lapdance (and even more), just because she asked for a photo!
Look, if a girl smiles at you, or talk to you, that doesn't mean she's ready to hump you tonight!
Even if she gets on the dance floor with you, and wear skimpy outfits, that doesn't always mean she's ready to hump you tonight!
All she expects you to do is enjoy that moment on the dance floor! THAT'S IT!
Mad that she doesn't want to go further with you right now? GET OVER IT! Plus, good things come to those who wait! Maybe if she enjoys being around you for a longer period of time, you might even get lucky and not just have 1-night stand, but a long term relationship! But too many of us expect instant gratification!
Even in you do go to the bedroom, she might say she wants it, but then she changes her mind! Yeah, you may experience disappointment because you want to hump now, but you better handle that situation like a mature man! Plus, you can enjoy the moment together without humping!
The idea that "women should always expect to have sex when they're in a room with a man" is PERVERTED NONSENSE!
Most women have brothers, male cousins, and male friends from the elementary days, so they don't always expect to have sex everytime they're in a room with a male, because they already experienced being around males in a NON-sexual situation! So you can't expect them to have a perverted mindset of "all males want to hump me right away the first second I'm in a room with them alone!
We need to teach boys about that stuff! Right before they enter middle school! Waiting until they graduate high school to teach them about that IS WAY TOO LATE!
Even if Roethlisberger's accuser had non-marital sexual situations before, that doesn't mean she wanted to hump Roethlisberger right away. Chances are, she already had experience with males who were more patient and didn't expect to hump on the 1st night! And chances are super-high that she wanted to go a slower pace than what Roethlisberger expected! If Roethlisberger had more patience, he might've had a chance for consensual sex later on! This is what happens when you have an instant gratification mindset!
-----
3) So why didn't she fight back?
Have you ever seen what Ben Roethlisberger look like? He's 6foot 5inches.
An average size male has no chance in a street fight against a guy that size! What makes you think most women have a fighting chance against a guy that size!
That guy is used to getting tackled by super-large, super-fast guys! He's pretty much immunized to any hits from an average-sized person!
So, in many date rape cases, a woman meets a strong, charismatic, funny guy! The woman wants to be around him because is an entertaining guy to be around. Who wouldn't want to hang around that guy?
But if that guy has a "I'm entitled to sex all the time" attitude, and he's alone with a woman who's thinking "you're a fun guy, but I want to wait", disaster will strike!
And the harshest weapon in any attack is NOT a gun, NOT a knife, NOT big muscles, but THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE!
Someone punches you when you didn't expect it, you're most likely so in shock, so caught off guard, that by the time you figure what to do, IT'S TOO LATE, THE DAMAGE IS DONE!
So if the guy feels entitled to sex, the woman says "not right now", and the guy starts to rip off her clothes, GUESS WHAT? She is so caught off guard, that her minds goes blank. And if that guy is big enough to break her jaw and rip her throat, she isn't going to put up much of a fight!
By the time she realizes "I should've poked his eyes or kicked his ball", IT'S TOO LATE, THE DAMAGE IS DONE!
This is why you need to be careful before you make judgements about a pregnant teens or a woman entering an abortion clinic. You have no idea of what hell they experienced, if they were raped, and if that was why they're in the situation they're in right now.
4) Sports talk show host Collin Cowherd said that Ben Roethlisberger goes to too many bars, then he said that "nothing good happens when NFL players are in the nightclubs"!
MEGA-LAME statements. Media likes to focus on incidents because it sells papers and bring ratings. So they'll talk endlessly of incidents at nightclubs involving Pacman Jones and Plaxico Burress. But every incident like, there's probably MILLIONS OF TIMES when NFL players are in the club and it was a positive night where everyone had fun! But reporting on that doesn't bring much ratings!
5) While we're talking about sexual assaults, I want to talk about someone that I used to hang out with in high school, who's now in prison for a sexual crime!
That person is Justin Gonda!
I met him in my 9th grade PE class, then in the 11th grade, I started hang out with him, Orlando Holbron, Brian Anderson and Russell Siu at our high school's shop building! Sometimes, their other friends came by too! Lots of fun times, fun jokes and people doing funny stuff! If you weren't hanging out nearby, you missed out on a great time, because those were the funnest times of my life.
However, Justin Gonda started to say really stupid things out loud! He started to become a Marrolyn Manson wanabee and repeated Manson-like statements out loud. Everyone in our group started to distance ourselves from Gonda! Though I saw him around, we didn't hang out as much.
After high school, I'd occasionally see him around, but later I lost contact with him.
Then last year, I learned from a former high school classmate that Justin Gonda is currently serving time for a raping an underage girl!
I mentioned it somewhere within last year's high school reunion blog post, because I mentioned that me &; Nicholas used to talk to Justin Gonda.
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2009/08/my-10-year-high-school-reunion.html
Well, Gonda's ex-girlfriend found my blog post, and gave me additional details.
Apparently, Gonda's ex said she talk to Gonda's accuser who said she "led him on" but later became reluctant to have sex. Gonda allegedly ignored her and raped her!
When the case went to court, Gonda was charged with rape, but was only found guilty of sex with a minor!
Now, he's doing hard time at Halawa, expected to come out in 2014.
Very heartbreaking to know about this, a former friend in jail, a former friend who was using drugs, and committed a heinous crime!
All for what? Instant gratification! All because he didn't accept "no" for an answer, all because he couldn't deal with his disappointment with her "no" like a mature adult.
Let that be a lesson to teach the younger generation!
