There's a difference between a healthy and an unhealthy distrust of authority. Real maturity requires knowing this.
I question a lot of government policies. But I don't just automatically assume everything the government is doing is wrong.
I question the bias within the media. But I don't just automatically assume everything the media says is a lie.
People are complex. Most people are correct about some things but incorrect about others.
Real complex thinkers understand this!
Real complex thinkers investigate the issue instead of just assuming "this leader is lying" or "this leader is the messiah"
Complex thinking and investigating the issues takes time & work. That's why most people take the easy way out and just assume the government "never tells the truth" or "always tell the truth".
But the more you learn from various sources, the more you know when to trust or distrust those in authorities.
When the facts and evidence are presented and it's overwhelming, sooner or later, you have to go along with it, even if it doesn't go along with your previous ideology.
Many people are having trouble with that concept during the coronavirus crisis.
The covid vaccine has been tested and been proven to reduce the chance of getting severely ill when your body catches the virus. The overwhelming majority of those in ICUs are the unvaccinated.
These facts mentioned in the previous paragraph remain true even if
the government sometimes lies about things
media has a liberal bias.
Time to deal with the facts as they are, even if they don't match your ideology
I admit, when the coronavirus crisis started, I thought the world was over-reacting. I mean, we've been through the news cycles surrounding SARS, H1N1, Zika, Ebola. I thought "here we go again, it will just fade away like those other viruses".
But this was the real deal. This virus spread faster than the other viruses, and it had some serious side effects, including lung damage and even death. Yes, some people came out OK, but not everybody is those "some people". People who were skeptics of the seriousness of the coronavirus and didn't wear masks nor practiced social distancing learned the very hard way how dangerous the virus was! Herman Cain was the most famous example.
At some point, when the reality around you changes, you have to adjust accordingly. You can't be so married to an ideology that you refuse to divorce yourself from the ideology when it has been proven wrong in a very public way. You have to adjust to reality and admit that some of your beliefs don't always apply to every situation.
During the first shutdown, I adjusted accordingly by starting to wear the surgical masks, avoid gathering in groups, and practicing social distancing.
When things opened up briefly during the summer of 2020, I noticed others were wearing plastic shields at the YMCA while working out. I ordered some with the intent of using them instead of the masks. By the time they arrived in the mail, the YMCA changed their policies that if you're going to wear the shield, you also need to have the mask on. I did just that everywhere.
The mask is mostly to protect others from the contagious germs you're carrying around. The shield is to block other people's contagious germs from getting into your respiratory system.
Are a mask and shield perfect forms of protection? Nothing is perfect, but it's better than not being protected at all. After all, seat belts save lives even if they didn't save everyone.
Going back to the summer of 2020, when things briefly opened up, everyone acted like the pandemic was over. Case numbers went up. Things had to shut down again.
The vaccines became available to the public in the spring of 2021.
Nobody promised that the vaccine offered 100% protection. The vaccine was meant to train your body's immune system in case it comes across the real coronavirus. The intention of the vaccine is that in case you catch the virus, your body doesn't experience the same level of illness that an unvaccinated person has experienced.
But even with those limitations, most people got vaccinated as soon as they could.
It looked like victory was here! The feeling was we can get back to normal.
However, some people wanted to go back to the old normal without making the adjustments needed to make the old normal possible again.
Some people refuse to get vaccinated, refuse to wear masks, and want to continue gathering in large groups as if the pandemic has never happened.
And because of those fools, the coronavirus is able to continue its spread and has mutated into a more powerful delta variant that is more contagious and more dangerous.
The hospitals are filling up with new coronavirus patients, and the overwhelming majority of them are unvaccinated.
That enough should be a wake-up call that it might be a good idea to get vaccinated.
But people reacted to mere suggestions to get vaccinated as an infringement on their liberty.
They threw hissy fits at businesses requiring customers to wear their masks.
And this is where much of the libertarian movement (especially the paleo-libertarians) lose their credibility with me.
Look, I prefer a less intrusive government. I believe in legalizing a whole bunch of consensual activities. I think we should de-escalate much of our law enforcement. I think a government that governs least tends to govern best.
But I also believe in a government that offers some level of protection to the people.
In the case of the coronavirus, it's not its dangerousness, it's the contagiousness.
I could eat junk food all day, I'm just hurting myself if I do. I don't spread my fatness (and a risk of diabetes, heart problems, and stroke) by breathing toward a nearby person.
But if I get the coronavirus, I would spread it toward anyone who is breathing near me.
And even worse, some of those people who could be nearby could either have a weak immune system or live with someone who does.
And even someone who looks fit & healthy could get the worst side effects of the coronavirus.
And the hospitals only have a limited amount of space to take care of infected patients.
Do you think hospitals have enough to take care of the majority of the population at any single time? HELL NO!
Hospitals don't even have enough resources to even take care of 5% of the population at a single time.
Hospitals have to ration resources when there is a high infection rate. This happened in India recently where millions live in crowded conditions and there aren't enough vaccines to go around. This happened in Italy in the early stages of the coronavirus crisis in the spring of 2020.
In cases like these, it is legitimate for the government to step in to reduce the spread of the virus.
It is legitimate for the government to require masks and to reduce the carrying capacity of businesses.
It is legitimate for the government to temporarily shut down places notorious for crowds like bars, clubs & events.
And anyone who knows me from before the pandemic would damn well know that I love nightclubs & other events. I love festivities.
But I also love not being put in a position to catch extremely dangerous & contagious viruses.
Nightclubs are the one place where people go to do the exact opposite of social distancing. A major goal for most people there is to find someone who would let them bump & grind together. Sound like fun until too many people are getting a dangerous & contagious virus in that setting.
These shutdowns are supposed to be temporary.
For those throwing hissy fits claiming these shutdowns would lead to tyranny, that has proven wrong when local governments ease the strictness of the shutdowns when the covid case numbers go down. In fact, in Hawaii, they were ready to get rid of the restrictions when the vaccination rates were going up.
But every time restrictions get less strict, the ratlickers (those who refuse to vaccinate, wear masks, and avoid crowds) start to gather in large groups like the pandemic hasn't happened. And the covid cases goes up again.
Because of these ratlickers, Hawaii's state and county governments are now requiring employees to either get vaccinated to get tested weekly.
And yet the ratlickers and much of the libertarian movement (especially the paleo-libertarians) are throwing hissy fits and complaining about tyranny.
Nevermind that we are still having it much easier than those who were living in Hawaii during WW2 when martial law was enacted. All lights had to be turned off at night, and people had to carry gas masks everywhere they go. Those who even looked Japanese were treated with suspicion. Those who practiced traditional Japanese customs were treated with extra suspicion. People living with the current coronavirus restrictions have it much easier in comparison.
Some people refuse to believe the news reports of the coronavirus crisis because much of the mainstream media is center-left liberals. But the presence of such bias in those media outlets doesn't mean they're always wrong!
Let's put it this way, if the same person who throws a rock at your head also happens to say "Vitamin C is good for you", the proper response is NOT"I'm going to avoid Vitamin C". The proper response is to acknowledge that people are complex and they can be correct about one thing and incorrect about another.
Too many people's response to the craziness of the Radical Left is to automatically believe everyone who leans left is wrong about everything. THAT IS NOT CRITICAL THINKING!
But for many of the Trump supporters and paleo-libertarians, critical thinking goes out the window, and they knee-jerk reject anything said by anyone who leans center-left or radical left.
Yes, I get it, people like Joe Biden or David Ige are not perfect people. They're not the best communicators. But when it comes to the coronavirus crisis, they are following the actual scienceinstead ofconspiracy nutcase interpretation of science.
As actual leaders, they have to adjust to the situation as it is, instead of beingso married to an ideology that they can't be flexible!
Managing a crisis requires flexibility. This flexibility sometimes frustrates people.
I remember occasionally being frustrated by school administration's flexibility when I was a substitute teacher. But there's a reason for such flexibility from administration because changing circumstances require a change of plans. And being a mature person requires putting my frustration on the side and deal with the changing circumstances as they are.
Obviously, managing government policy during a crisis has much more far-reaching impacts than dealing with it on a school level.
Governments dealing with crises have to make a change of plans when the knowledge of the crisis changes. When new knowledge comes in, the government has to be flexible. When case numbers go up, the government has to be flexible. When economic impacts are being revealed, the government has to be flexible. When the public health impacts are being revealed in real-time, the government has to be flexible.
David Ige understands that. Dr. Fauci understands that. Mature adults understand that!
That doesn't mean just be silent & obey "our masters".
We still have the freedom of speech to speak up when things are going wrong.
In fact, it is BECAUSE people speak up that leaders like David Ige are flexible and therefore change plans. Real leaders accept input from others.
It is the rigid attitudes like those of Donald Trump that cause additional problems.
Yes, I know that Trump's Operation Warp Speed ramped up vaccine production, though we also have to acknowledge that major vaccine producer Pfizer is a German company and therefore outside Trump's jurisdiction.
But for too long during Trump's term in office, he refuses to admit when he has been incorrect. He refused to admit that his demands that states re-open things had disastrous results. He refused to admit he was wrong to not wear masks. He refused to admit that his rallies and White House gatherings were super-spreader events. He is so obsessed with being Never Wrong that he failed to realize that real leadership during a crisis requires admitting mistakes and/or changing plans. When he got infected, it revealed to the public the weakness of his rigid Never Wrong persona. It was that issue that doomed his re-election campaign.
Trump may be gone from power, but the ratlickers in both the paleo-conservative and paleo-libertarian movements are still not learning the lessons of Trump's fiasco.
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And going back to the libertarian movement, there is some hope in that some are intelligent enough to know there is a government role in public health.
Obviously, you wouldn't expect libertarians to support a government-run health care monopoly.
In fact, libertarians were the main ones advocating getting rid of regulations that got in the way of dealing with the crisis.
(note: I could add more to the list as soon I'm aware of who to add)
These are what we call the "cool libertarians", so different from the paleo-libertarian ratlickers that drive good people away from the Libertarian movement, especially during the coronavirus crisis.
People who have nothing better to do with their lives are complaining that the new generation of pop stars like Billie Eilish & Olivia Rodrigo are using slang words that originated among African-Americans.
People adapt to their environment, and we ALL use words that comes from MULTIPLE cultures without overthinking about it, because that's how we ALL use language!
What do you expect any American millennial/GenZ/etc to be speaking? If you're their age, you'll be learning and using words from TikTok. Tik-Tok is part of EVERY millennial/GenZ/etc's environment! Therefore, those words are part of the environment Billie Eilish and Olivia Rodrigo are growing up in.
Do they expect Olivia Rodrigo to be speaking with a Filipina accent even though she never lived in the Philippines? Are we only supposed to use words created by only people who share the same ancestry? Do we get rid of the use of English words that originated in the Latin, Hebrew, Greek or German languages?
I say to Olivia Rodrigo, Billie Eilish, and other young stars to use the slang you want to use and play the air violin for the "woke" pansies who don't like it!
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I'm old enough to remember when "bling" was a new word made popular in 1999 when Lil Wayne, BG, Juvenile, etc used in their song "Bling Bling". Why did that word "bling" not appear in earlier rap songs? Because "bling" was once regional slang limited to New Orleans, which only started to produce popular rappers in the late 90s, therefore you heard ZERO rappers in the East Coast/West Coast era using it. But now the whole world uses the word "bling".
So if a rapper from Harlem uses that word, is he/she "stealing" New Orleans culture?
No, because thanks to Lil Wayne & his crew, that word is now part of EVERYBODY'S environment!
They made music for EVERYBODY to enjoy, and that word is now for everybody!
Too bad if you don't like it!
After all, Lil Wayne & his crew wouldn't be able to credibly call themselves "Cash Money Millionaires" if they only got money from a group that's only 13% of the US population. They get their cash money by selling to EVERY part of the WORLD'S population. Even kids in remote villages are familiar with Lil Wayne's music.
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After all, you don't see me (having Latino ancestry) complaining about YG & Tyga using the words "Go Loko" and using Mexican imagery in their video.
Lowriders started among Chicanos, but I think it's all good when non-Chicanos like Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, The Game, and YG drive lowriders in their videos!
And you don't see me (with a German last name) whining about City Girls and Afrika Bambaata sampling Kraftwerk (white German innovators of electronic music) early classic "Trans Europa Express".
I'm all about integration, and I encourage MORE integration!
Even worse was back in middle school (in my case, Kawananakoa Middle School) where the PE teacher Mr Andrade required every student to shower, and only open shower stalls were available! I just got made fun out of for having body hairs, but other students got it worse! I actually witnessed another student get peed on by another student! Yes, I actually saw that!
I also heard that in another PE class, a student was pressured to "jagg off" and rumors went out about that situation. Being that I had an unrelated conflict with that student, when I heard the rumors, I made fun of that student, andTHAT is one of my biggest regrets in my life!
The regret is so bad, that I spent years trying to find him on social media just to apologize to him! No luck in my search!
Back in the '00s, I've been trying to find that person, first on Myspace, then later on Facebook. The person with that name didn't match the one I was looking for.
But I kept trying to find that person because I know I could never find any inner peace until that apology was made.
I mean, I could write about justice & respect on my blog and on social media all day & all night, but all that means 100% pure nothing if I didn't apologize to that person.
Well, a few weeks ago, I finally found that person, who goes by a different name on Facebook. I found that person because he commented on a photo by a mutual friend.
It was time to step up.
Even if he goes by a different name now.
Even if he might think my apology is insincere and he'll lash about how much he hates me and wants violence done to me.
Even if he doesn't even open the message at all.
It had to be done.
So this was what I wrote
Aloha (name redacted), I've been trying to find you for years because I have to apologize to you for being disrespectful back in middle school. How I treated you was totally uncalled for and it should never happened. I am sorry and I hope you will be able to heal from the trauma that I have caused!
In a few hours, that person responded by saying he had forgiven me a long time ago, that we were just crazy kids, and he appreciated my apology.
A huge burden was lifted!
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Now, that person had ZERO obligation to forgive me. That he did was up to him.
Begging for forgiveness only makes things worse. Pressuring people to forgive only makes things worse.
People can react how they want to your apology.
The purpose of an apology isn't to beg for forgiveness.
The purpose of a sincere apology is to show remorse for the harm you have done, no excuses made.
Once you made that apology, that's it. You've done your part, how the other person reacts is up to that person.
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Last week, I did see this unsolicited email from an activist organization, and I'm glad I've opened it because it had valuable information about apologies
Oof. The other day my boys were arguing, and nothing I did seemed to help — so I yelled at them to cut it out. I know every parent yells at some point, but it never feels good! I wanted to make it right.
Some parents feel like admitting they’re wrong will make their kids lose respect or see them as weak, but that’s definitely not true! Apologizing to kids has loads of benefits — beyond improving your relationship, it teaches *them* to take responsibility for their actions, too. And that’s something we ALL want our kids to do!
Here are a couple of tips for offering your child a sincere apology:
Keep the “buts” out of it. “But” automatically cancels out an apology, and nearly always introduces a criticism or excuse.
Keep the focus on you. Try to keep the focus on your own behavior to avoid complicating or escalating the matter. Stick to your genuine feelings of regret and apology, accept responsibility, and pledge to do better.
It’s OK to explain why something happened. Letting your kids know you had a bad day or slipped up shows them it’s OK to make mistakes, so long as you own it. But even more importantly, it humanizes you in their eyes.
Offer a fix if appropriate. Doing so shows them that it’s important to show a sincere effort to help the other person feel better, however small.
If you’re curious what all of this sounds like in real life or want to learn more, check out our helpful guide for apologizing to kids.
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This also reminded me of back when I was a substitute teacher.
It was a 4th-grade class, and I was dealing with a student who kept making noise and talking out of turn. It was at the end of the day, I was explaining something to the class and the student still was interrupting me, and I lost it! I yelled with full-blown rage and the student cried and he yelled profanities at me.
I did inform the principal about the situation and he was understanding.
Fast forward a few years later, that student (who was now enrolled in a nearby middle school) came to the elementary campus, saw me, and said something like "remember when you yelled at me and you made me cry and I yelled back at you?"
Right then and there, I apologized to that student. I admitted I went too far that day.
And I appreciated his bravery in confronting me about the issue.
I know I wouldn't have had the guts to do that at that age.
And I'm sure it helped him to confront me rather than holding it in for decades like most of us do.
Because I held a lot in until I had my blog. Then I let out all my frustrations.
Back in 2012, I wrote a blog post "Exposed to the Light" where I let out all my frustrations that I've been holding in for years. Someone did apologize to me on Facebook months later, as I wrote in this blog post.
A so-called friend responded to that blog post by saying I should "let it go", "forget about it", etc. He didn't realize that saying such stuff INCREASES ANGER. You can learn more about why that's the case at this post and this post
What that so-called friend doesn't realize is BECAUSE of the 2012 post that I wrote, I have been able to forgive most of the people I blasted on that post.
What that so-called friend doesn't realize is if I didn't write that post, I would've still been angry at those people.
You don't reduce your anger by "letting it go" or pretending you forgot about it. You reduce your anger by letting out your frustration. That's where my blog comes in. I've let it all out, and I move forward AT MY OWN PACE!
I wrote about why that so-called friend was a hypocrite, and that person acted all traumatized when he called my other friend about it. So much for "let it go". I took down that blog post that mentioned him by his real name but I don't plan on apologizing to that hypocrite.I'll change that plan when that person apologizes to me with no excuses.
Yes, a part of me is glad the people I apologized to didn't blog about me (as far as I know), but if they did, then I have no business to object to whatever FACTS they may expose.
After all, nothing stays secret in a social media world and we all have to answer for the harm we caused others.
I remember watching the Sugar Bowl when Colt Brennan kept getting sacked over and over again. The coach June Jones had to step in (too late) and benched him, even though Colt still wanted to try again even though it was obvious he could no longer be effective after taking all those hits! I wouldn't be surprised if all those hits contributed to Colt's brain trauma and drug addiction, and later his death.
Simone Biles recognized that she was too overwhelmed to focus while doing all these gymnastic stunts, and knowing that this could lead to permanent injuries, she did the right thing by withdrawing from competition, even if it disappointed fans!
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Some deplorable right-wing nutcases are questioning Simone Biles toughness (nevermind that she was winning competitions in the past with kidney stones and broken toes).
Right-wing nutcase Matt Walsh tried to be clever by claiming Michael Jordan wouldn't quit so easily.
But Micheal Jordan briefly left the NBA after his father was murdered and rumors were spread about his gambling addiction. Jordan was taking a mental health break before it was cool to do so. He even tried out minor league baseball during his break before coming back for 3 more NBA championships.
Another right-wing nutcase Charlie Kirk also questioned Simone Biles toughness. When has Charlie Kirk done anything tough, besides debating college freshmen who haven't fully developed their political philosophy?
And here's a link to a classic article with a classic title
"Simone Biles Doesn't Exist To Make America Proud"
Here's what I am interested in: the very simple and radical idea that Biles' decision was hers to make, because she doesn't owe viewers, or the country, anything at all. No one is entitled to her performance simply because she is the best in the U.S.—and the world—at a sport.
Back in 2017, the Friends of the Library of Hawaii (FLH) started a mini-bookstore within an art gallery in Mark's Garage, a building on the border between Honolulu's downtown and Chinatown.
The art gallery is named The Arts at Mark's Garage.
And the mini-bookstore inside was named Books@Marks.
Pablo Wegesend's photo
Books@Mark's
This was part of FLH's strategy to sell donated used books (and comics, vinyl records, CD's, DVD's, postcards & more) beyond their major annual booksales, as well as promote their brand beyond the usual booksale customers & library patrons.
The Arts at Mark's Garage usually has a theme every month or so in which displays a certain type of artwork. One month it could watercolors. Another month would focus on photography. Other themes include arts by certain cultural groups (ie, Native Hawaiian, African diaspora, Filipinos) or by the LGBT community.
And sometimes, The Arts at Mark's Garage would hold events like film screenings, spoken poetry, live theater, live music, and dances.
The fun especially happens on First Fridays, when nightlife lovers can explore the art galleries, bars, restaurants & more every First Friday of the month.
And that's when I was at the Books@Mark's. Every First Friday from May 2017 to March 2020, I was at Books@Mark's as a cashier. From 5pm to 10pm!
photo from the Arts at Mark's Garage Facebook page
Me (in yellow shirt) talking with FLH Executive Director Nainoa Mau
The first hour was usually slow, but the fun usually starts at 6 or 7pm. That's when they have the opening event for the latest art display. There are speeches, and sometimes music. People would come in to mingle and enjoy the festivities. Then they start to notice bookshelves. And the records and the CDs and the DVDs and more cool stuff. And that's when I introduce them to the Friends of the Library of Hawaii and notify them of the upcoming book sales, either at McKinley High School (should be renamed Honolulu High School) or Washington Middle School.
People are usually amazed at what we got! Classics they have long forgotten about. Books with eye-catching titles. Stuff for people from every walk of life, from the keiki to the kupuna and everyone in between.
A lot of the customers who came were those in their early 20s who intend to go club-hopping. They come for the festivities and indulge in their intellectual side for a few minutes (and sometimes even buy some books) before they go back out for some club-hopping.
Sometimes, I would even see old friends from college or work come in. And I also made new friends too. We had our regulars who come in every First Friday.
Being a cashier at Books@Mark's was much easier than at most mainstream retail chains (I've worked at Macy's and Nordstrom Rack) because I don't have to pressure people to enroll in the company's rewards plan nor do I have to deal with other complex transactions. I just add the prices, add tax, accept payment and give the customer an FLH bookmark listing the upcoming booksales.
I could've done all this forever.
However, the coronavirus crisis happened.
I remember on the First Friday of March 2020, there was already talk of events being canceled (like the South by Southwest festivities in Austin). I was telling one of the art gallery volunteers that I thought the reactions were out of proportion and I said "remember when FDR said we have nothing to fear but fear itself? Now it's time to fear the fear."
Later that month, everything was shut down. Everything was closed except for essentials.
Time to take the coronavirus crisis seriously!
No more First Fridays.
FLH also canceled their major booksales, including their big summer booksale at McKinley High School (should be renamed Honolulu High School).
FLH pivoted to focusing on online booksales.
FLH did reopen Books@Mark's later in 2020, but only in the daytime. No more First Friday festivities.
Plus, First Fridays at Books@Mark's meant not much space for social distancing.
Then earlier this year, FLH did open another used bookstore (Village Books & Music), this time at Ward Villages, at the former site for Pier 1 Imports. There is much more space for social distancing there. As well as much more space for more books and other formats.
I visited Village Books & Music one time, but haven't had time to do volunteering for FLH due to my work schedule
(I currently work for a fashion retail store whose work schedule changes every week. At least I'm not cashiering there, otherwise, I have to do complex transactions with impatient customers).
But I get an email from FLH earlier this week noting that Books@Mark's is being shut down and that they want volunteers to come in to pack up all the inventory. The scheduled date (today) happened to be my day off. So I was able to come in, help them pack, and express my gratitude for the great times I had at Books@Mark's.
Pablo Wegesend's photo
The shelves are about to be cleared (07/22/2021 circa 9:15 am)
Pablo Wegesend's photo
The shelves have been cleared (07/22/2021 circa 10:15 am)
Books@Mark's is now a thing of the past.It is a part of my past that I will always treasure :)
