Many colors in a family

There's an article going viral about a set of multi-racial twins.

They're not identical twins, so yeah, they'll look different, but this time, they look really different.

The twins are of Anglo and Jamaican ancestry. One twin looks like your typical Anglo girl with the white skin and brown stringy hair. The other twin has brown skin and weavy hair.


(learn more at
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/these-twins-can-teach-us-a-lot-about-racial-identity/ar-BBibCwv?ocid=iehp



Here is my facebook comment

Yes, my comments are true!


Me, I have a Mexican father whose mother is of Native Mexican ancestry (Zapotec, Toltec), whereas his father is of Spanish ancestry. My father has more Native Mexican features, whereas his siblings are lighter skinned!

My mother is of Puerto Rican (with native and Spanish in it), Portuguese, and German ancestry. Her skin is white and has thick hair!


Now, look at my extended family.

One of my mother's brothers married a Native Hawaiian woman. Some of the kids look mostly Native Hawaiian, some look mostly Latino, another looks mostly white!  

Another of my mother's brothers married a Puerto Rican woman, so most of the kids looked Latino, but one looked totally "white" as in German "white", NOT Spanish/Portuguese "white".


---

Now back to my inner circle. My brother married a Korean woman. One of their daughters looks mostly Korean, others look more Spanish-Mexican.

All in the same family!  :)

------


This is common in Hawaii, whereas there is a lot of inter-racial marriages going on.

I know this one family in my childhood hood (Lanakila Housing), where the children are of Samoan/Hawaiian/Puerto Rican ancestry and they all look so different that the only reason why I knew they were siblings is because I'm from the same neighborhood.  Some of my classmates from different neighborhoods didn't even believe me when I told them they were all siblings. But it's true!

Which is also why sometimes I see part-Asian, part-European kids who look mostly Asian and with Asian last names, and I'm thinking "something about them shows they might part-white". Then I see the one grandparent is totally of European ancestry ............. that explains it! 


That's why I say you never know the entire racial background of who you are talking to! You might be saying a racial joke thinking "nobody of this race is around", but they might be, they just be only 10% of that race! Either that, or they have cousins of the other race!

As Rodney King said "Can't we all just get along?"

People Evolve

For the last few days, I keep seeing these articles complaining that Eddie Murphy's humor isn't as edgy as it used to be! Lot of this was in reaction to his refusal to portray Bill Cosby in an SNL anniversary skit!


 For example

https://tv.yahoo.com/news/why-eddie-murphy-once-done-015500766.html

http://www.salon.com/2015/02/19/of_course_eddie_murphy_side_stepped_the_bill_cosby_joke_on_snl_hes_been_playing_it_safe_for_years/



While I think Cosby is a shady character protected by political correctness, star power and slut-shaming, I still think Eddie Murphy has ZERO obligation to make skits about him! You want Cosby skits, make your own!



Also, you can't expect people to be the same as they were decades ago! People face life circumstances that make them question their earlier attitudes, opinions and actions! People mature and evolve!


 Eddie Murphy shouldn't be forced to be stuck in the 1980s just to satisfy fans who can't move on with their lives! 

 
https://tv.yahoo.com/news/why-eddie-murphy-once-done-015500766.html

Eddie Murphy

A man who refuse to live in the past

 

 

 Same is true for your favorite musicians who once made "cutting edge music" back in the day!
 You can't expect Ice Cube to make another "Death Certificate"
You can't expect Metallica to make another "Master of Puppets"
You can't expect Liz Phair to make another "Exile in Guyville"
You can't expect Bob Dylan to be who he was in the 1960s!


 So they went in a different direction? Life goes on!


It's just like what Charles Barkley mentioned in his book "I May Be Wrong But I Doubt It"

Random House

Charles Barkley's book

He mentions this "keeping it real" stuff and emphasizing that his reality is no longer being the kid from the projects. He think it's sad and pathetic when adults act like they're still the same person when they were 16. Barkley calls it "keeping it phony" and "BS"

-----------------------

Just like you think you can "pick up where you left off" when you meet a former classmate. Not really!  Your classmate most likely experienced life circumstances that make them question their earlier attitudes, opinions and actions!

Which was why I wrote the "What is an Adult?" blog posts 
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2013/05/what-is-adult.html 
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2013/09/what-is-adult-part-2.html 

as well as a "What is an Adult?" speech on YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oagx7WXcO-I


 

My posts on other online outlets

Hello everyone,

it's been weeks since I last posted on my blog.


However, here is my highlights that I posted on other  online outlets!

==============

There's been a bunch of memes complaining that Macklemore won more Grammys than some legendary rappers of the 80s and 90s.

The implication is that that Macklemore is favored over those rappers because of his European-American ancestry!

But I remind people that the Grammy's is a ANNUAL (meaning a year-based) award

 

By the way, you can see who was up for the rap music categories in the Grammy's by checking out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammy_Award_for_Best_Rap_Album
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammy_Award_for_Best_Rap_Song
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammy_Award_for_Best_Rap_Solo_Performance
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammy_Award_for_Best_Rap_Performance_by_a_Duo_or_Group

For solo awards,  in 1995, 2pac and Biggie weren't competing with Macklemore, they were competing with Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" a super mega-hit of the year!

In 1997, Biggie's "Hypotize" wasn't competing with Macklemore, he was competing with Will Smith, who was coming back to making rap songs after becoming a mega-star actor!

For rap albums,  As for 2pac, as much as I loved "All Eyez on Me", it lost because it was competing  against the Fugees "The Score" the same year!

 2pac's "Me Against the World" had some meaningful songs, but it was up against Naughty By Nature "Poverty Paradise"! 

For Notorious BIG, as much as I loved "Life After Death", it came out the same year as his producer Puff Daddy's debut album!


Just like Charles Barkley, Reggie Miller, Karl Malone, Patrick Ewing not winning NBA championships, because they played in the same era as Micheal Jordan! Hakeem Olajuwon also outshined those other guys when Micheal Jordan was experimenting with baseball!

------------------------------------------------





Someone thought they found me on this following article

http://www.movoto.com/hi/hawaii-dating/

 

The person on the right is not me!  But yeah, he does look like me!  I never wore that Aloha shirt, but I like the design :)

Meanwhile that article has some silly stereotypes about Hawaii, but it was obvious that the article was never meant to be taken literally!


One person said the following

Keone Rivers · 

what a load of haole colonialist bull (****).

and someone else said the following

Noah P. H. Dolim ·

Diana Caswell : Haole is an attitude as well.

OK, that the word "haole is an attitude" promotes a racial stereotype, so I said the following

Pablo Wegesend ·

Noah P. H. Dolim imagine is someone said "n---- is an attitude as well"? Well, someone else besides Chris Rock?

BTW, I'm from Hawaii (McKinley grad!) so don't let my looks and name fool you!

That last sentence was to prevent others from accusing me of being an outsider who doesn't understand Hawaii. 

Lo and behold, Keone Rivers  made the following comments

Keone Rivers ·

Pablo Wegesend that is a laughable false equivalent, it only demonstrates you dont know what haole means. haole can indeed be an attitude, ho'ohaole is an example of that. the N word is a racial slur invented by white supremacists, haole is simply another word in the Hawaiian lexicon, that predates the arrival of the first white people. at no time have white people EVER been captured and enslaved for generations by Native Hawaiians, to the contrary it is white people that INVADED US and continue to enforce their white supremacy in our illegally occupied homeland.

I respond by saying  words change meaning over time.

 Back to Keone Rivers

Keone Rivers · 

Pablo Wegesend lol buy a dictionary, what it means is that you are comparing apples to oranges and arent sufficiently educated to even understand that. the fact that some words meanings change over time does not change the fact that you do not speak Hawaiian and do not understand it. do you understand the folly in debating a language you DO NOT know with a native speaker of that language?

Ooooh, I better back down!

Actually, I was referring to how the word "haole" is used in modern times!

Pablo Wegesend · 

You're the expert in pre-colonial meanings. In modern times, people use the phrase "haole as an attitude" with the stereotype of "Euro-American coming with bad intentions." Very few in modern times even fit that description, but as soon as a Euro-American make a mistake (no matter how minor), they get tagged as "f----- haole", usually by people who cant even speak fluent Hawaiian. That's what I meant by "word meanings change over time". This is just an observation of how that word is being used in modern times.

  

Now, it's about to get classic!

In other words, Keone couldn't overcome my 2 paragraphs because ...........it's true!

Well, Keone Rivers had no response (as of this post's publishing) to the following

Now, I don't think "haole" is always used in a negative term.  It can be used in a neutral way (ie. "my haole friend"), or even to refer to oneself (ie . "I was the only haole guy in the class").


But Keone was being evasive in the real issue .................the word's use has changed to refer to just those of European-ancestry (even those whose family has been in Hawaii for generations).  To the point where even immigrants use the word "haole" just thinking it's just another word for "white" .....................because ............................modern people of Hawaii just use the word "haole" to refer to European-descendants!


As for me, even though I got a German last name, I never get called a "haole" because I look mostly Mexican! But my half-brother (with a different father) ..........................yes, he's been called a "haole". 

UPS improvements

Back in August 2013, I wrote a blog post about my dislike of UPS
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2013/08/not-fan-of-ups-policies.html


Here's what I mentioned

You see, UPS does NOT tell you what time they're coming by your house!

So you're expected to wait at home ALL DAY just to receive your package!

Who has time for that?

And if you live in a secured building (like I do), they can't just come in and leave your stuff by your door. Plus, I don't want stuff left outside by my door. You never know who'll be thinking  "hey, free stuff".


And even worse, their delivery workers are not allowed to call the customer's  phone # when they come by my home to confirm I'm home!

That is the most stupidest delivery  policy known to humanity!

So if you're not home when they come by (and they don't tell you when they'll come by), you got to go to their facility to pick up your item.

Their facility on Oahu is on an isolated road near the airport! If you're a bus rider, you got to get off by Nimitz and walk multiple blocks on Lagoon Drive!

and this paragraph

And UPS doesn't automatically deliver to the nearest UPS store even if you request it! You have to call the UPS Store yourself and hope they'll allow you to receive your stuff there!

That has changed!   :)


---

Last week, I ordered a book "Modern Information Retrieval" from the Barnes & Noble website.

In the past, I would receive items  from Barnes & Noble via US Post Office.

But this time, the book would be delivered by UPS!

I was expecting the worst! I was expecting to have to call UPS to hold it at their isolated facility!

But this time, I was able to go to the UPS website and they now offer the option to pick it up at the UPS Store!

So much easier than before! 

  :)

Money Down the Drain

Australian golfer Robert Allenby was in the news recently over a bizzare incident in Hawaii.

He says he got kidnapped, beaten and dropped on the road.

Witnesses said the kidnapping didn't happen and his injuries happened because he was drunk and fell down.



Other witnesses said he was at a strip club Femme Nu earlier that night

http://www.staradvertiser.com/news/breaking/20150126_GolfChannelcom_Allenby_reportedly_ran_up_3400_tab_at_strip_club.html?1i

Multiple sources who were working at the club on Jan. 16 told GolfChannel.com that Allenby was there around midnight with "a group of friends" and ran up a $3,400 bar tab.

Now, That is what I want to talk about!


The $3,400 tab at the strip club! 


I haven't been to a strip club in YEARS!  


The last time I went was in 2006, and before that last time, it was Halloween 2004!


And you know what? I don't plan on going back!


One reason! It's Money Down the Drain!

You think you'll only spend an  x amount of dollars? HA! 

You WILL be tempted to spend more!  I know I always did! 

Those girls don't dance for free!  

You just sit in the back, you'd be bored to death! You sit close to the action, you WILL be pressured to pay OR the action goes away from you! 

Those girls don't dance for free!  

It's Money Down the Drain!

It's not worth it!

You'll get much more satisfaction just going to a regular nightclub! 


No, you won't see girls taking it all off at the regular nightclub!


At the regular nightclub, satisfaction is when a girl chooses to dance with you for free! 

That is MUCH  MORE satisfying than throwing your $$$$ down the drain at the strip club! 


---------------




Also, another reason I no longer go to strip clubs?

I've been working as a substitute teacher for 10 years.  That means some of the middle school students I once worked with 10 years ago are old enough to work at the strip club!

That would be extremely awkward seeing them there!  


It reminds me of one conversation I heard on TheBus! A group of tourists talked about one friend of theirs who was a teacher. He went to the strip club and guess who he saw? One of his former students! Both him and his former student felt really awkward about the situation! OBVIOUSLY!

Now, THAT is a more important reason why I no longer visit strip clubs!



I told that story to a former high school classmate and he thought it was funny! It wouldn't be funny if that was your situation!


And this why why I got so mad at one of my former co-workers at Macy's who kept pressuring me to come with him to the strip club.........................as if I never been there before!



Once I went off on him and told him my situation, he was all apologetic!


But yeah, I wouldn't expect me to say all this when I was in my early 20's! But I'm not in my early 20's anymore!

Dads and so-called "self respect"

Many parents want to protect their kids from all kinds of stuff, even stuff they really don't need protection from.

But that's just natural - why wouldn't a parent want to protect their child?

But their child grows up, becomes an adult and want to do adult things!


It takes a certain level of maturity for a parent to be at peace with their no-longer-child doing raunchy adult things!

Which brings me to Brian Williams, the NBC reporter.

His daughter Allison Williams was in a cable TV show "Girls",  in which her character ...................................had something freaky but consensual done to her.  So freaky that I personally wouldn't do it!

Brian Williams reaction?
http://www.salon.com/2015/01/16/in_praise_of_cool_dads_why_brian_williams_support_of_allisons_girls_sex_scene_is_important/

Only fanning the flames was the fact that her father not only watched the scene, he was also totally cool with it. “She’s always been an actress,” he said of the scene. “For us, watching her is the family occupation and everybody has to remember it’s acting, no animals were harmed during the filming, and ideally nobody gets hurt.” In fact, Williams has always been nonchalant about his daughter’s sex scenes. In 2012, when Vulture asked him how he felt watching “Girls,” he said, “It’s kvelling, pride. It’s incredibly great.” Then his interviewer clarified, “You’re fine with the awkward sex scenes?” He replied, simply, “Unmitigated joy.”

The article's author Tracy Clark-Flory reacted with these classic paragraphs

This man deserves a “Father of the Year” mug. I mean it. As does any dad who manages to confront the idea of his daughter’s sexuality without withering to the floor like the Wicked Witch. The Williams’ case is extreme, of course: Few daughters are actresses starring in a raunchy HBO drama. Few fathers have reason to see their adult daughters semi-nude. But most fathers, most daughters, could learn something from this family. 

Dads have so many opportunities to positively influence how their daughters feel about their own bodies and sexualities. They have so many chances to not teach them shame. They have so many ways to communicate that it’s a woman, not a man — be he her father or husband — who owns her sexuality. If more dads did this, we wouldn’t have headlines wondering, “WHAT DOES HER DAD THINK?” about a 26-year-old grown woman doing her damn job.

Now, look at that bolded part from the previous paragraph! 

I'll repeat it again

They have so many chances to not teach them shame.

Dads have so many chances TO NOT their daughter's shame in whatever sexuality they have!


I'm tired of people saying stupid stuff like "she has no self-respect" whenever a woman does something raunchy in the clubs or in a video!

Because when you say "she got no self-respect", you are NOT promoting "self-respect", You are promoting SHAME! 



So an adult woman does a lapdance for a popular male celebrity?  Well, two did for Tyrese for his recent birthday! It went viral!

And we have chumps who said "those women have no self-respect"


Lighten up FOOLS! 


Those woman DID NOTHING WRONG!


They just (gasp.........OMG........nooooooooooooooooooooooo!) did something they considered fun!


They didn't injure anyone!


They just  (gasp.........OMG........nooooooooooooooooooooooo!) did something they considered fun!


So they did something you don't consider fun? 


SO WHAT?


If you don't want to twerk, THEN DON'T!


But don't give me this crap that adults who twerk (or lapdance or "work the pole" or whatever) lack "self-respect".


Because this "self-respect" nonsense is a bunch of crap from uptight, repressed party poopers who can't stand when people have a different type of fun from them! 

This criticism goes out to BOTH the ultra-conservatives (who want everything prim & proper) and Radical Feminists (who think just because they don't want to twerk, they assume all women twerking in videos are being "exploited" by men) 

As for parents freaked out by all this, remember, while you can cherish all the memories of your kid's preschool times all you want................................... kids can't be stuck in that phase forever.

Life goes on, they become young adults and some (many) want to try freaky things   .......... freak dances, you name it!

It takes a certain maturity to be at peace with it!


Mr. Williams is at peace with it! That makes him the perfect role model for parents out there!

You Need to be Able to Adjust to Culture Shock!

Adjusting to culture shock is one of life's most important skills!


Culture shock is just a normal part of life!

Even if you're from a diverse place, other places have a different mix than yours!

For example, Honolulu and Miami are both known for diversity, yet they have a different cultural mix!

And even within the same city, you can face culture shock going from one school to another!

I remember going from McKinley High School ( an inner-city school with a mostly immigrant population, with an  Asian majority as well as Pacific Islanders as a major minority) to the University of Hawaii, which obviously has students from all over Hawaii (meaning I'm attending school with rural and suburban kids too) plus students from continental US (many of whom are European-Americans from Oregon and Washington State).  So yeah, I experienced culture shock in my own island!

And yeah, I've been to Mexico, where my dad is from! Culture shock during my visit? Definitely!


However, some people just can't adjust to culture shock! They mistake curiosity and harmless ignorance as "micro-agression".


One example is Priscilla Ward, who wrote about her experience as an African-American living with European-American room-mates and working with European-Americans.

http://www.salon.com/2015/01/20/im_tired_of_suppressing_myself_to_get_along_with_white_people/

I started to worry about all the other things I might have to explain: My hair, the food I eat, why I like Miles Davis, Nina Simone and Marvin Gaye. Maybe I should have considered it a teaching opportunity. But I wasn’t feeling generous. I was all twisted up inside, ablaze over racial dynamics and anxious what other minefields my roommate might stumble upon. I hoped he wouldn’t say something really ignorant, causing me to just snap and go off on an angry rant. Then I’d have to make my living situation salvageable by pocketing my black rage, putting on my best smile and telling him, it’s all love.

 and

 I was tired of catering to everyone else’s comforts. How much of my day-to-day experiences as a black woman do I have to filter? I replace “hey girl” with boring hellos. I eat my leftover fried chicken outside the office. In order to have some common point of identifiable communication, I pretend to care about Taylor Swift, or white movie stars on their I’ve-lost-count remarriages and those other white pop stars I could not care less about. “Oh yeah, she’s cute,” I tell them. “Yeah, that’s cool.”

I'm sorry, but this is just someone who is unable to adjust to culture shock!  I mean, I'm not censoring whatever pidgin or hip-hop phrases when I'm interacting in casual conversations with people! I mean, yeah I might be a bit reserved with someone I just met (aren't most of us?) but once you had a few conversations, all this uneasiness should fade already!

And her "not caring about white stars"?   I mean, I like hip-hop better than country or alternative, but still .................. I respect what those other genres mean to the cultures they come from!  And you know what? I can enjoy the music of  Pitbull, Whitney Houston, Bryan Adams, Willie K, Selena  and a whole bunch of musicians of different racial backgrounds! It's called being culturally versatile!

And sometimes, I might be working with someone with different pop culture references. They might LOVE talking about "Game of Thrones" or some other TV show that I have never watched in my life? SO WHAT?   I don't feel the need to fit-in with everyone anyways!   I could sit & chill while others are talking about something I'm not interested in! SO WHAT  -- THAT'S  a  part of LIFE!  You can't expect everyone to share your interests!


I know might be saying -- "who are you to talk down to Priscilla Ward, you're not African-American like her".   The overwhelming majority of African-Americans I know are much more secure with being around different cultures than Ms Ward is!

Look, my city might not have as many African-Americans as Atlanta, but it was the birthplace of the 1st black President (sorry Kenya).


Ms Ward can even come here for Rumours Nightclub on Friday nights! Mostly playing modern hip-hop (at least 75% Southern hip-hop)  and attract a lot of African-Americans. They don't leave the dancefloor just because the DJ played Pitbull or Iggy Azalea! If it's a good song, it's a good song!

(note: Rumours Nightclub is more famous for its Saturday nights with its 70s/80s/90s disco/funk/R&B/old-school hip-hop, and a more multi-racial fanbase. Major reputation as "cougar-town")



And does Priscilla Ward know about the being part-Latino in Hawaii? I do! Here's what I wrote on the comments!

Dear Priscilla Ward,

I know what it's like to be an extreme minority, being a mixed-race person of mostly Latino ancestry and a German last name growing up in Hawaii with mostly Asian & Pacific Islanders. 

However, you take everything way too personal! I mean, I had Pacific Islanders ask if my dad (who is from Mexico) use words like "vato" and "ese". Instead of getting overly sensitive, used that moment as a teaching opportunity to inform those Pacific Islanders (many of whom are Samoan or Micronesian) who are not familiar with Mexican culture that movies based in East LA life do NOT reflect real life in Mexico!  Some of them also assume MS-13 is a "Mexican gang", and I inform them that they're Salvadoran, and just like how Samoans and Tongans are similar but different, Mexicans and Salvadorans are similar and different. You see, I use such moments as teaching moments instead of "agonize with over-sensitivity" moments!

I also didn't have many Euro-American classmates until college. I had a few college classes in which they are the majority. SO WHAT? I remember one group project (w/ 4 Euro-American women from the continental US, 1 Euro-Canadian and me) with questions about surviving in the North American wilderness! They obviously had more experience on that topic, but you know what? I didn't feel any stigma, in fact we all just joked about it because that's what Secure, Confident people do!  By the way, one of those Euro-American woman  was working part time at an urban Honolulu high school (which was a rival school to mine) and yeah, she had  her culture shock which me and her discussed like confident, emotionally secure adults!

So yeah, start building your inner confidence! Start loving yourself! Start understanding that minor misunderstandings shouldn't be treated as intentional micro-aggressions! And get professional help!