I'm 42 now

 Another birthday is here! 

image from Shirtscope.com

And so is the midlife crisis! 

I mentioned about a midlife crisis in my 4oth yr blog post and video, but I think the midlife crisis has been magnified this year.

Long story short, I want to move on from the main employer I had this year, but I'm trying to move on to something that's better suited to me.

Back in late 2020, I left my previous job and applied for what I expected to be just a temporary job for the winter holiday season. I applied to be on Macy's merchandise team (the ones who organize items on the selling floor in the morning), because I like to organize stuff. But with their bait & switch tactics (sadly typical), they had me sanitize hi-touch points, which I just went along with because it's an easy job. That "seasonal job" was extended to year-round. 

 However, the geniuses at Macy's decided to do away with sanitizing hi-touch points when the mask mandate ended in March 2022. I thought that was stupid because that would be when you needed sanitization the most since all those maskless people would be spreading their germs. 

Then the geniuses at Macy's thought it would be a good idea to switch me to "back of house support" which has plusses (organizing incoming materials, which I love doing) and minuses (working with machines, which I hate doing). After a few weeks, I had a discussion with them, telling them they are negligent about workplace safety, I told them I'll go to OSHA, and I told them they should've asked me if  I liked working with machines before switching me to a position involving machines. After that, they switched me to folding towels (which was what I should've been doing the whole time because that's where I excel).  But now the new problem is the reduction of work hours.

And soon, the geniuses at Macy's want to have us start using earpieces. Earpieces was THE reason why I left Nordstrom Rack a few years ago. Learn more at this blog post and this video.

So yeah, it's time for a change.

I like jobs where I can organize items (both physical and digital), provide information services, do something creative, and be treated with dignity.

I'm applying for work in several different organizations (ie. libraries, schools, archives, other government agencies, temp agencies, etc). I don't want to get too specific, because announcing the exact organization and position I'm applying for has always been bad luck to me.  

Going through interviews and dealing with rejections does take its toll financially and psychologically.  Yes, I know it's not always personal, since organizations can't hire everyone that applies. But it still stings. Like come on God, am I that bad?

I did file some applications so hopefully, a good organization will hire me for a position I can thrive in.

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Another part of the midlife crisis is knowing that some of the products I love aren't being manufactured anymore.

I usually buy the Big Student Backpack by Jansport. They used to come in different colors. But now that product isn't sold on the Jansport website, and what is available at other vendors (ie Walmart, Office Max) is limited.

This is what I wrote to Jansport

The Big Student Backpack wasn't just merely an accessory, it was the perfect backpack for someone who needs all the compartments in the bag because I want easy access to supplies, medications, folders, ponchos, books, et anywhere I go. The 5 compartments ( 2 large, 2 medium and 1 small) within that bag was the perfect number, the other bags I see on the Jansport website have less than that.  The Big Student Backpack wasn't just great, it was legendary. Please inform your supervisors that the Big Student Backpack had some loyal customers and we would love to see it back. 

I'm also very picky when it comes to the weekly/monthly planners every year. I want the pages of the planners to be a certain way. The best one was the one I bought for 2019. But that exact model isn't available anymore.

I'm a big fan of smartphones that have a physical keyboard. That was why I bought a BlackBerry Q10 in 2013, and a BlackBerry KeyOne in 2018.

The problem is that BlackBerry hasn't manufactured a new smartphone in years. Yes, that company does still exist, but its main focus now is on cybersecurity.  

The company did partner with TCL Communications a few years ago to manufacture the KeyOne and the Key2, but that partnership expired. BlackBerry did attempt to partner with another company (Onward Mobility) to manufacture a 5G phone, but that company went under. Learn more at https://www.techradar.com/news/blackberry-5g-2021

I did hear Unihertz does manufacture smartphones with physical keyboards. While I'm still using my BlackBerry Keyone, if that phone goes old, I hope that Unihertz, BlackBerry or at least somebody is still manufacturing new smartphones with physical keyboards.

I also miss the Daily C, the Vitamin C tablets that used to be common at stores. Yes, there's others still available, but I miss my Daily C!

Now I know I'm sounding like those "back in my day" geezers who complain that the old days were better.  I sometimes cringe when folks like Bill Maher keep complaining that things aren't like they were in the 90s.  But it's so easy to become like that when things aren't going your way.

But I had rough years before. 2011 and 2017 were rough years for me.  Those years were followed by better years. I'm looking forward to better years. And of course, to finish 2022 on a good note.

Nury Martinez and the Oaxacans

 Nury Martinez, a now former Los Angeles City Council member, was recorded saying negative remarks about African-Americans, Oaxacans, and other groups.

In Nury Martinez's district, Angelenos react with disgust to news of racist recording (msn.com)

Column: Nury Martinez's rant reveals the worst enemy of Latino political power: ourselves (yahoo.com)

Key moments in racist leaked recording of L.A. councilmembers - Los Angeles Times (latimes.com)

I'm going to focus on the Oaxacans, because my father is from Oaxaca, a Mexican state with a large indigenous population. 

Because that state has a large indigenous population, the people from there face negative stereotypes from those from other parts of Mexico that have more of a lighter-skinned population. 

When my father moved from Oaxaca to Jalisco as a teen, he did feel some discrimination. 

Nury Martinez's remarks revealed a dark secret within the Latin American communities, that many are just as bigoted as the Anglo-American populations. 

 Even though many Mexicans have a mix of Spanish and native ancestries, some of those who have a tan, orange or a light-brown complexion tend to look down on those with dark-brown skin common among those with a more pure indigenous ancestry. 

And throughout Latin America, those who have darker skin and have visible African or Native American features are looked down upon in society. 

This was the attitude that  Nury Martinez displayed in her comments in a secretly recorded meeting with other Latine city council members. It was obvious in the recordings that she dominated the conversation, that she looked down on people of African or pure-indigenous ancestries as objects of ridicule. 

What really triggered the general public is her "joke" that she wanted to beat up an African-American toddler who happened to be the son of her political opponent. She wants to fight a little kid? How about she fight an able-bodied adult?

I get the vibe from the way she talked that she hasn't matured since middle school.  I get the vibe that she would severely ridicule anyone who even dared suggest some level of sensitivity.  I get the vibe that the other people in the conversation were too intimidated to push back on her attempts at humor. I get the vibe that she would throw a fit if somebody dare tell her "NO". 

Well, the world found out, and the people have told her a loud  "NO!"

People protested at city hall and outside her home.  

Her loud talk is no match for the pent-up rage of the people.

She has since resigned!

This has to be a lesson to everyone - ANYTHING you say CAN BE recorded! 

You have to develop some level of maturity. You not only have to show maturity in public, but also in private.

The way you act and behave in private will seep over into what you display in public. 

The attitude you display with friends will seep over into how you act in professional situations. 

I don't want to hang out with people who still display the inappropriate humor I once engaged in middle school. 

I want to hang out with people who have matured since middle school. 

Over the years, I lost patience with a lot of the edgy humor. 

Anybody who knows me knows I'm not humorless. 

As an adult, I'm all about having an appropriate sense of humor.

And more importantly, having a sense of honor. 

It's time for us as adults to set a good example for the next generation!

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I also saw this great article by Frank Bruni, which sheds light on the stereotype that female leaders are "more humane", and that women like Nury Martinez can be just as mean and nasty as male leaders

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/12/opinion/los-angeles-city-council.html

But Martinez, in her necessary apology, also said something ludicrous — ludicrous but telling. “As a mother,” she confessed, “I know better.”

As a mother?

I’m not a mother. I’m not a father, either. But miraculously, I too know better. 

(skipped paragraphs)

 

The statement by Martinez, who resigned from the Council on Wednesday amid a national uproar over her remarks, invoked yet another popular but debatable idea, which is that women in general and women leaders in particular aren’t as reflexively and gratuitously divisive as men. That they’re more instinctive uniters, more natural nurturers — and as such, demonstrate greater concern for the welfare of future generations.

Martinez, after all, didn’t say “as a parent.” She specified her gender and, in doing so, promoted a gendered if women-flattering conceit. It’s a conceit that, I admit, I buy into. I indeed think that we’d be well served with more women in leadership roles, in both the public and the private sectors, and not just as a matter of representation.

But I also think that our discussions about this can be softheaded and our analysis of the evidence selective. When we in the media admire a prime minister who’s a woman (Jacinda Ardern in New Zealand, Sanna Marin in Finland), we often cast her as a parable of women’s untapped potential. When we don’t (Liz Truss in Britain, Giorgia Meloni in Italy), we tend to shy away from such grand generalizations.

and this

And the suggestion that women are inclined to empathy edits a great many of them and big chunks of history out of the picture.

“There’s no reason to expect women to be less bigoted than men,” the historian Linda Gordon said in a 2018 article in Mic by Jack Smith about her book “The Second Coming of the K.K.K.,” which notes the role of women in that hate group’s resurgence in the 1920s. The headline on the article: “Why Women Have Always Been Essential to White Supremacist Movements.”

In Air Mail this month, George Pendle wrote that Italy’s Meloni “is the most spectacular example of a recent trend in European politics in which charismatic women have taken the reins of far-right political parties and led them to increasing legitimacy. Just look at Marine Le Pen in France, Alice Weidel in Germany, Pia Kjaersgaard in Denmark or Siv Jensen in Norway.” Pendle mentioned in particular the “rather worrying obsession with what Weidel calls ‘genetic unity.’”

Here in the United States, I’m rather worried by such current members of Congress as Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert, to name just two women prominent in the MAGA brigade. Greene, by the way, has three children, and Boebert has four, proving that mothers are as mixed a bag as the rest of us. They’re altruists and narcissists, creators and destroyers, openhearted and closed-minded, colorblind and color-conscious.

It’s not because she’s a mother that Martinez should know better than to hurl racist insults. It’s because she’s human. 

AMEN TO THAT!  

professors and "the kids these days"

 Recently, a group of students from New York University (NYU) signed a petition expressing their grievances towards an organic chemistry professor Maitland Jones Jr. 

Stephanie Saul, “At N.Y.U., Students Were Failing Organic Chemistry. Who Was to Blame?,” The New York Times, October 3, 2022,

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/03/us/nyu-organic-chemistry-petition.html

The grievances focused on the class's difficulty, the high level of students flunking the course, and the rude, dismissive mannerisms of the professor.

The university noted he had one of the worst ratings from student evaluations from the entire university.  

After the petition, the university didn't renew Jones's contract. 

This brought up debates over academic standards, "weed-out" courses, and  "the kids these days".

Obviously, we shouldn't be passing students who haven't mastered the course materials. 

That is magnified when it comes to organic chemistry, one of the prerequisites for entry into medical school.  

Yes, it is dangerous to have unqualified people in the health-care industry. 

But ideally, professors should be doing as much as they can to help more students master the material. Why would you not want more students to become well-qualified? 

This "sink or swim", "throw them to the wolves" mentality does a major disservice to the students and the society they plan to work in. 

Being a professor that gives out a lot of F's isn't something to be proud of.  

Having 1 or 2 failures per class could be a sign that maybe those students were either slacking or having too many outside distractions to focus.

But having a majority flunking the class means that the teacher is failing.  That means the teacher is not being effective.

It doesn't matter that the teacher is smart enough to write textbooks (which Maitland Jones was), if by the end of the semester, the majority flunk, that means the teacher failed to effectively teach the majority of the students.

It's like the saying in coaching sports, it doesn't matter how much the coach knows, it matters how well the coach teaches the athletes how much he/she knows. After all, it's the athletes who have to play the game. 

 Using another sports metaphor, a coach that won championships in the past, but is now having consecutive losing seasons is still getting fired. You're no longer getting paid to coach the players of the past, you're getting paid now to coach the players of now.

The same is true of professors. You may get a lot of praise from past students, but if you're not adapting to the students of today, then you are past your prime or you need to adjust to regain your prime.

You can complain about "the kids these days" all day and all night. But that's exactly who you're paid to teach. That's who you have to adjust to when you're conducting classes.   

The "kids these days" want a great teacher who can make the class interesting. They're not interested in posers trying to be "cool", they're interested in teachers who make the subject matter exciting for them. 

I should know. The "kids these days" entering college now are the same generation I was substitute teaching in their younger years.  Some may be drama kings/queens, but most just want a teacher who can guide them to success.  You as a professor can be that teacher that guides them to success. 

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As for this "sink or swim", "throw them to the wolves" mentality, this is part of why we have a doctor shortage. 

Instead of just "weeding out the weak", why not figure out how to make the weak strong? If we can make more of the weak strong, we can have more people passing organic chemistry and other medical courses, and more doctors available to assist the public. 

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In the next few years, professors will be having many students whose education was interrupted by the pandemic. That means they'll be coming in without the knowledge base of the students of the pre-pandemic era.  That means professors have to do more to get the students up to speed. Maybe being present on campus during non-instructional hours, splitting the students into study groups, whatever it takes. 

This article had some good pointers on that.

Jessica Calarco, “The N.Y.U. Chemistry Students Shouldn't Have Needed That Petition,” The New York Times,  October 7, 2022

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/07/opinion/nyu-professor-fired-maitland-jones.html

Fixing these kinds of inequities would take a huge shift in the way the country supports families and funds both public K-12 schools and higher education.

Even in the absence of that kind of shift, though, universities can do more to help students succeed in their classes, regardless of the level of privilege they bring with them or the types of majors they pursue. That means investing more in faculty hiring, to allow for smaller class sizes, and in academic advisers and other student support staff members, who are often deeply underpaid.

It also means ensuring that students aren’t facing pressure to try to overload on courses in order to graduate early and save on tuition, room and board. That they don’t have to worry about having enough food to eat or a place to live or access to health care (including mental health care) or reliable technology. That they don’t have to juggle class work with working long hours for pay. And that they don’t have to circulate formal petitions to get the support and respect they deserve.

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Looking back in my college days, I was a graduate student in the university's Library and Information Science (LIS) program. 

The introductory course LIS 601(Introduction to Reference & Information Services) was considered by many to be a "weed out" course. It was an intensive course that focused on learning about many library information sources, information searching, and on reference services. In my opinion, we could've split the class into 2 separate courses (1 on information resources and searching, 1 on reference services).

I took the class back in Spring 2013. At the time, it was 8 years since I last took a college course. I had basic tech knowledge (I already had a blog, and a Facebook account), but I didn't have a home computer or a smartphone and was reliant on libraries to use a computer. In the same class, I had a classmate who was working for Apple, and I had classmates who admitted they don't go online. That's a huge disparity in tech knowledge. I also had a classmate who dropped out because he had a full-time job on the other side of the island. 

The professor (Dr. Diane Nahl) did do her best in teaching us how to best approach the assignments. She taught us how to use Google Docs, how to do screenshots, how to search databases, and how to do citations, how to do Lib Guides, and much more.

And the thing was, at the time I didn't properly appreciate her efforts. Little did I know, it was her last time teaching. Right after the semester, she retired without any fanfare.

The students who took LIS 601 after me told me horror stories about the professors who took over the class. The new professors didn't teach the students what my professor taught my class.  The new professors had a "sink or swim", throw them to the wolves" mentality and were very rude to the students. One of the professors (Dr. Vanessa Irvin) was even alleged to discriminate against a student with a disability. 

Because of that, right before I graduated I decided to email my LIS 601 professor Dr. Diane Nahl to thank her for her efforts and to note that at the time I took her course, I didn't properly appreciate her efforts but now I do. She acknowledged my gratitude! :) 

 

stop expecting everybody to be extroverts

NY Times writer David Brooks has an article a few weeks ago lamenting the people's refusal to have conversations with strangers on the subway. He thinks people are too insecure to approach strangers with a lively conversation. He thinks this is all causing a loneliness epidemic!

You can read it at 

David Brooks, “Why Your Social Life Is Not What It Should Be,” The New York Times,  August 25, 2022, 

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/25/opinion/social-life-talk-strangers.html

This was how I responded to Brooks' tweet promoting that article

Yeah, I read the newspaper or my smartphone while riding the bus. Some days, the ride is the only time I can do that because I have tons of things to do when the ride is over. Sometimes I rather be left alone than to have somebody talking to me while on the bus!

Stop expecting everybody to be extroverts! Get over the fact that some people want to be left alone!

Now, if I do see friends on the bus, I'll still greet them, and depending on our moods, we might still chat!

But I'm not going to start a conversation with someone who just wants to be left alone. And when in doubt, then I leave that person alone. 

Though if something is happening on the bus, we might say something to each other. But other than that, I'll respect the other person's personal space as much as possible.

------------

And in this day and age, more people are expressing their rights to be introverted.  There is less shame about being introverted now as compared to the past. People are now more likely to admit they LOVE spending some time alone. 

But people like David Brooks treat that as some kind of emergency. It isn't.

I love spending time alone, and if David Brooks don't like it, then too bad! 

In memory of Coolio

Artis Leon Ivey Jr. (aka Coolio) provided the soundtrack for my middle school and high school years. 

This was in the mid-1990's, which was the same era as 2pac and Notorious BIG.

The new generation may not know this, but at the time, Coolio's music was just as popular as (I'll say in no disrespectful way- more popular than)  2pac and Notorious BIG until their deaths. Their violent deaths and the circumstances leading to it, and the media coverage afterward overshadowed the popularity of other rappers of their time.

But now that Coolio is back in the public attention, it's time to school the new generation on the legacy of Coolio.

He was known for funny music videos for party songs like "Fantastic Voyage" and "1,2,3,4 (Sumpin New)" but he also had serious songs about the traumas of gang life ("Gangsta's Paradise"),  the public health implications of sexually-transmitted diseases ("Too Hot"), and the humiliations faced by people in poverty looking for assistance ("County Line").

The song "Gangsta's Paradise" was his lasting legacy. That song appeared in the soundtrack for "Dangerous Minds", a movie about a teacher working in a rough high school in the inner city.  The music video was MTV's #1 song of the year for 1995.  And it won a Grammy, winning over 2pac and Notorious BIG. (Those mad those 2 didn't win a Grammy need to recognize the power of "Gangsta's Paradise" that year.)

[on a personal note: "Gangsta's Paradise" was THE #1 song when I entered high school. That song, plus Bone Thugs N Harmony's "1st of the Month" and Skee-Lo's "I Wish" were everybody's favorite song among my peers at that time.]

The song was parodied by Weird Al Yankovic's "Amish Paradise". Coolio was initially offended by the parody. I mean, "Gangsta's Paradise" was a serious song. It turns out the main problem was that Weird Al didn't contact him personally before releasing the parody. Weird Al did mention he usually gets the artist's permission, but in this case, he contacted Coolio's record label instead of contacting him directly.  They eventually made peace and Coolio has forgiven Weird Al. 

In the new millennium, Coolio's music didn't get the public attention that he once had. He became mostly known for his appearances on TV "reality" shows. 

Then last month, Coolio was visiting a friend's house when he suffered cardiac arrest. He was 59 years old.  

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Here are some of Coolio's hits

This was his first hit song "Fantastic Voyage"

"Fantastic Voyage"

"I Remember", a song about childhood memories"

"I Remember" (Coolio w/ J-Ro & Billy Boy)

"County Line", a song about the humiliations faced by people in poverty looking for assistance

"County Line"

"I'll C U When U Get There", an inspirational song about turning one's life around

"I'll C U When I Get There"  by Coolio & 40 Thievez

"1,2,3,4 (Sumpin New)", a classic party jam 

"Too Hot", a public health lesson about sexually-transmitted diseases

"Too Hot"

"All The Way Live", a party jam from the basketball movie "Eddie"

and of course ............

"Gangsta's Paradise"

coming soon

 Never enough time to blog about whatever I want to blog about, but here are some things I hope to blog about soon

- death of rapper Coolio, whose music was the soundtrack of my middle school & high school years

-I'm about to be 42!

- and maybe more stuff

Misunderstandings about Maturity

 As a 41 (soon to be 42) year old, I cringe when former classmates act as if they haven't matured since high school. In fact, back in 2019, I made a classic YouTube speech blasting a former classmate by saying "you need to grow up already, you're almost 40"

you can watch it at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se1i4xC1C54

Over the years, you're supposed to gain wisdom about life. You're supposed to learn from past situations and adjust your ways of dealing with situations. Because you're not going to deal with every situation that exists, you should be learning about people whose situations are different from yours. You should take note of how not to offend innocent people.

None of this is easy. I slip up from time to time. It's a long learning process.   But you have to make a real effort.

But maturity doesn't mean getting rid of all child-like qualities.

Maturity doesn't mean you have to be boring 24-7!

The reason I bring this up is because recently one of my former college classmates (about the same age as me) shared this great meme on Facebook.

-transcript from that meme-

Tweet by: sunlitallegory-deactivated20171

You’re too old for that.”

Is really a shitty concept. You’re too old for everything. Cartoons, sleepovers, candy, etc. Basically, you’re too old for fun. You shouldn’t be too old for fun ever in your life. If you want to watch cartoons, do it! If you want to have sleepovers, do it! 

User: furlockhound

CS Lewis famously said that the intrusive desire to appear grown up all costs was in of itself a childish trait that secure adults should’ve grown out of it.

He worded it that “When I was young I hid my love of fairy tails for fear of ridicule, now that I’m 50 I read them openly”

User: scaliefox

All this is true.

The intrusive desire to appear “mature” is a major insecurity in and of itself and the sooner we learn hobbies have no age limit that get’s you thrown out for hitting it, the better

 My former college classmate then commented with this classic comment.

 

I still collect dolls. I wear Minnie ears. I read mostly YA novels and manga. I dance around the house and sing. I play the Sims (too much). I still sleep with a stuffed animal. In fact I have two shelves full of stuffed animals.

A few people in my 40 years on this earth have told me I’m immature.

Hells yes I am.

In a way, I can relate!

I still love stuffed animals, action figures, toy cars, rubber duckies, children's entertainment (though admittedly, I'm not exactly up to date with the latest), cute stickers, drawing pictures, and taking naps.

I found a great joy in working with children back when I used to be a substitute teacher. Most of them haven't been beaten down by life yet, and they're not ashamed to smile, play pretend, dance or sing!

Having such childlike qualities doesn't mean you haven't matured! If you are a respectful person and take care of your business, then you are mature, even if you love stuffed animals, Disney characters, and YA lit! 

Being disrespectful, being "never wrong", being drunk, being obnoxious, doing things that are harmful to others, having excessive insecurity, and being inappropriate with your humor................. THAT  is being Too Immature! 

Let's put it this way: Owl City makes songs for children to enjoy.  Mister Rogers made shows geared to children.  No scandals from either of them. They are mature! 

However, people like Donald Trump, Aries Spears and Jeremy Kaufman thrive on bullying others just because they are different from them. They think toughness is all about ridiculing the vulnerable. They think having some level of sensitivity makes you a "crybaby". They can't relate to people who have matured since middle school. THAT  is being Too Immature!