the bullies of summer fun exposed to the light!

Another terrible bully in the workplace to expose to the light.

This one was a co-worker at Palama Settlement back in the summer of 2005!

This bully goes by the name of Jesse Newman.

Like George Zimmerman, he looks mostly Latin-American but doesn't have a Spanish name.

 my photo collection

Jesse Newman

Like me, Jesse Newman has Mexican ancestry.

Being that in I'm in Hawaii and rarely around "my people",  when he first came in, I was like ..."cool, another Mexican dude here!

But as Martin Luther King said, we shall judge people by their character.


And Jesse Newman has one of the most negative characters of all the people I have worked with.

For one thing, being that Jesse Newman was in the military, his mindset was to bark orders at people who he had no business barking orders too.

Jesse Newman was the same rank as me at the Palama Settlement summer program --- meaning we were "group leaders".

Yet, Jesse Newman acted as if he was my boss, trying to tiny-manage what I was doing.

We had a 2-day camp at the Palama Settlement grounds. On the last day, there was some free time. Jesse Newman told me we're taking down the tents. But our supervisor (Francis Akana) said it was free time. Obviously, I (gasp..........omg..........no) listened to my supervisors instead of Jesse Newman (who wasn't my supervisor).

I was walking around, then Jesse Newman started yelling at me "help the kids take down the tents!" I told him "the kids said their parents were going to do it for them" 

Then Jesse Newman yelled at me  "TAKE SOME INITIATIVE INSTEAD OF DOING NOTHING! TELL THEM TO TAKE DOWN THE TENTS!"

I told Jesse Newman "I'm going to talk to Vince and Francis about your attitude". Jesse Newman yelled at me "YOU CAN TALK TO WHOEVER YOU WANT TO, BUT THEY'RE NOT HERE!"

Well, I found Francis at the game room and talked about what was going on with Jesse Newman! Francis told me "tell Jesse that I said that let the kid's parents take down the tents".

I relayed the message back to Jesse Newman who then yelled to me "YOU GET PAID FOR DOING NOTHING! I WISH I COULD DO THAT!"

That was nowhere near the end of it!

Later, Vince De Bina (the recreation director) returned to Palama Settlement.

Well, Jesse got to Vince first. Jesse wanted revenge against me for refusing to kiss his ass.

So me, Vince, and Jesse Newman had a meeting behind closed doors. Jesse Newman started pointing his big pointer finger at me and started making false accusations that were confirmed by nobody else after Vince had individual meetings with other staff members.

Jesse Newman wasn't satisfied with slandering me with false claims.

The next week, we were on a field trip at the beach park!

The kids saw a dead bird, and I told them to leave it alone! Jesse Newman started to yell and accuse me of bringing attention to the dead bird. The reality was, the kids noticed it first!

(Plus, Jesse Newman was holding a live rat in his hand earlier that day! Hypocrite!)  

Jesse Newman asked the students to pick up rubbish and yelled at me "YOU DIDN'T PICK UP THE RUBBISH" as if I was one of the students instead of his co-worker. 

--- 

Jesse Newman was also the type that would yell at people for (gasp.........omg..........noooooooo) for opening the door for him. I did that at the field trip at Jesse yelled "PABLO, JUST GO,  STOP BLOCKING THE WAY!"

Another time, my group and Jesse's group arrived at the lunch line at the same time. I was going to let his group go first, then Jesse Newman yelled "PABLO, JUST GO, STOP HOLDING UP THE LINE!" 

Also, I remember I started using a whistle to get kid's attention. That was an idea from the administrators so that I don't have to yell so much to get their attention.   Well, Jesse Newman didn't like the whistle and started screaming "USE YOUR WORDS!"  (imagine what popped into mind when Julez Santana and Too Short had their songs about blowing whistles ------ Jesse Newman screaming USE YOUR WORDS!)  There's a reason referees and traffic cops use a whistle. It's to get the attention without yelling so much! 
 ---

All this yelling was done right in front of the kids. So how did the kids react? Well, anytime I told them to stop doing negative things, the kids replied "I'm going to Jesse Newman so he can yell at you again" and they started laughing.

So Jesse Newman was basically undermining my authority with the students. He doesn't care if it causes more chaos. In fact, Jesse Newman wants more chaos, because he wanted another excuse to push me around.

I have talked to the program's administrators. They knew Jesse Newman was a jerk but there were only a few weeks left in the program, and it's not like they can find a replacement in such a short time. So they just told me  to say  tell him "thanks for your concern, but I'll handle my group!"  

So, then when we were on a bus to another field trip, I was going to find a seat. There was no empty seat, so I sat by one of the students. Then that student wanted to change seat. The problem was, the bus started to move! So I just told the student "just sit down for now". Jesse Newman started ranting again, and I just told him "this is my group, dont worry about it". Then Jesse Newman just went "Aaahhhhh!" I also reminded him what one of the supervisors told me  - "just worry about your group".

 Well, after the summer program was over, Jesse Newman was banned from Palama Settlement! 

And it wasn't just his problems with me.

Jesse Newman was also sexually harassing the female staff members!

Jesse Newman put ice under the shirts of female staff members. Jesse Newman would also run into them on purpose, and wrestle one of them to the ground, and moved like he was humping her! Jesse Newman would also grab their shirts and pull them. 

In other words, Jesse Newman is a sexual predator too!

----

Jesse Newman was in the program because he was recruited by another employee who was his mistress. Her name was Harmony Silva.

my photo collection

Harmony Silva

While Harmony Silva wasn't as aggressively belligerent as Jesse Newman, she was also another bully that likes to undermine co-workers in front of the students.

Instead of talking with co-workers in private and in a civilized tone of voice, Harmony Silva would scream at them in front of the students. That also encourages more chaos in front of the students.

For example, during the camp.  Harmony Silva freaked out because (oh, oh...........omg) I didn't bring marshmallows, since nobody told me about bringing marshmallows.

She started yelling at me "YOU DIDN'T BRING MARSHMALLOWS, YOU THINK IT COMES OUT OF NOWHERE?"

I reminded her that I just filled the water jug, which is more important than a bunch of marshmallows. Harmony Silva started screaming "WATER DOESN'T COST ANYTHING", nevermind that the lack of water can cost lives.

I walked away on purpose into the office, then I peeked outside. Harmony Silva was screaming to the other co-workers "HE DIDN'T BRING MARSHMALLOWS!" The other co-workers were like "so what, who cares?" Harmony Silva just walked away in anger! 

(thanks to Harmony Silva, marshmallows are no longer innocent things in my mind)

Then Jesse Newman told me the next morning "Pablo, you lost your manhood last night when you didn't bring marshmallows".

Jesse Newman likes to talk about manhood.  But Mr. Manhood (aka Jesse Newman) didn't even attempt to yell at the huge Samoan guys who would hang out at Palama Settlement! I guess, even Jesse Newman's "manhood" had its limits! 

Back to Harmony Silva, she would also undermine other staff members too, even to the point where one went quit. Harmony Silva even alienated her very friend who recruited her to work at Palama Settlement.

But Harmony Silva could only boss around so much. Harmony Silva was scolded by one of the Polynesian women who worked there who could no longer take Harmony Silva's attitude! The Polynesian woman told Harmony Silva "you have the frickin nerve to complain about everyone is being lazy when you're the one who always gotta leave early!"  Being that the Polynesian woman was the loudest staff member there, Harmony Silva didn't even try to scream back! 

But yeah, like Jesse Newman, Harmony Silva wasn't invited to work at Palama Settlement the following summer.

The following summer (2006), I was there again. While the new summer staff wasn't perfect (neither am I), they were much more co-operative than Jesse Newman and Harmony Silva. Good riddance to both of them.

Since then, I had stopped working at the Palama Settlement program since I was working as a preschool sub during the summers of 2007-2010.  Eventually, nearly all the other staff members have faded away from there.

 

the bully principal exposed to the light

Last year, I exposed the many troublemakers in my life via the blog post "Exposed to the Light"
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2012/03/exposed-to-light.html
(I have added a few more stuff to that post since I first posted it).


Now, it's time to add another troublemaker to the list.



This time it's  Kathleen Carstensen

I have worked as a substitute teacher for public schools (DOE) as well as 2 different private agencies that services the private schools.


I started working with the private schools back in 2006, and one of them was Saint Andrew's Priory, an all-girl's school in downtown Honolulu.

I know it seems strange to be a male teacher in an all-girl's school, but they're there.

The problem back in 2006 was the principal at the time Kathleen Carstensen.

A bunch of girls were making noise, ignoring me, and then I  raised my voice, they started to play victim. One claimed she "had to use the restroom". Where she really went is to complain to the office about me.

So what happened next? 

Here is a letter I wrote to the Principal Kathleen Carstensen about how she handled the issue.

To: the administration of St. Andrew's Priory

It is my wish that the issue of yesterday's wrongful termination would be handled without lawyers. However, there were so many unsubstantiated (and in some cases, irrelevant) things mentioned about me in the meetings that they require further discussion.

Before I go into anything else, my experience working at S. Andrew's Priory on November 28, 2006 was a mostly positive and enriching experience. I had a lot of positive things to say about the school environment to my relatives and DOE co-workers. The behavior of most students were wonderful and the problems so minimal that I mentioned to others that the problems at St Andrew's in one day was less than what one experience at a DOE school in just one class.

Being that I was a substitute for the PE class that day, I was able to get along with the other PE teachers that day.

That is why it is so suprising to hear from the principal, unsubstantiated complaints coming from that day.

The principal said that teachers complained about me. The principal refused to mention what teachers.

I never had any conflict with any teacher on November 28, 2006. I was with the PE teachers most of the day. They didn't mention to me any red flags about anything I did! My interactions with them were totally civilized.

Also on the same day, I ate lunch in the faculty lounge. I met the Hawaiian music teacher, a French teacher, a religion teacher and a few others. Again, all my interactions with them were civilized! I dont remember anything I did or say in the lounge that  could even be a red flag!

On that day, I didn't have a chance to meet other teachers. If the complaints are coming from teachers I haven't met, then please understand that what those teachers are probably hearing are most likely just remarks from the shallow minority of students.

Also, on December 4, the only other teacher I interacted with was the male teacher whose class was next door to Ms Ahn. That male teacher was very nice and helpful!

The principal mentioned that I made some students "uncomfortable". That is such a loaded word, especially if it's unsubstantiated! The principal had no specifics on what I did to make students "uncomfortable". The principal not mentioning any specific incident, nor any evidence is very disturbing!  I was wrongfully terminated because the principal had ZERO evidence of what I did make others "uncomfortale". There wasn't even a specfic incident mentioned!

The principal said she was letting me go because of a "gut feeling". How ironic, that on December 4, 2006, I was to be teaching a class on US history and government. The whole point of such classes was to get students to explain social issues with evidence, instead of just "gut feelings". Yet, the principal relied on NO evidence, just "gut feelings" based on unsubstantiated remarks from students or teachers!

The principal mentioned some students saying  I was "weird" as if that was an offense worth firing a teacher over. Adolescents always say  so "so-and-so is wierd". I expected the administration to be above that kind of shallow stuff!

In my personal experience, those who I might've thought as "weird" or "might make me uncomfortable" turn out to be good people that I learn to be comfortable with! It is because my mind uses evidence, instead of just "gut feelings" to judge people over time!  "Gut feelings" dont always turn out to be true. Unfortunately, the administration of St, Andrew's Priory did not allow their students to learn that lesson. They allowed themselves to be influenced by the shallow thoughts of what I assume to be a small minority of students.

If all schools fired  teachers because a few students thought them to be "weird", they would 1) loose wonderful teachers , 2) probably run out of people to teach!

Also, never in my history as a student did I mention to administration that "so-and-so was a good substitute teacher", so chances are high that some students at your school might consider me a good teacher, but aren't going to mention it to administration. After all, people go to school administration to report something negative, NOT to mention positive things that happening.

Also, the principal mentioned that I am not able to control the class. On November 28, the students were mostly well-behaved, so I don't even know what the principal was complaining about!  The day was so positive that I am even shocked there would be any words about me "not controlling the class" that day!

The principal said I was "whiny" and "not commanding". Again, more shallow, opinionated words used to describe me! As far as I'm concerned, I'm not going to pretend that I have a mega-low voice! If not having a low voice is "whiny" then that description is shallow, and I thought school administration officials ought to be above that shallowness!

As for December 4, 2006, I just assumed that the class was going to eventually settle down (which most students did) so I didn't feel the need to sound very stern. Yet, I when I was using a stern voice towards the end of class, I was falsely accused of yelling!

I did walk to certain students to give demerits. Maybe I should've walked towards them in a less hostile manner! However, I didn't yell, nor did I have any physical contact with those students.

I was later told substitutes weren't supposed to give demerits. Then why does the substitute folder have a sample copy of a demerit paper. Plus, on November 28, the elementary PE teacher suggest to me that if any student gives me problems, just ask them their name and fill out a demerit form. (side note: I didn't give a demerit that day)

Afterwards, I had the meeting with the principal, and that's when I heard such shallow, unsubstantiated remarks about me!

When I called Ms Ahn about what happened in her class, and how the principal treated me, she was totally surprised about the way the principal handled the situation. I could easily hear how shocked she was about the principal's actions.  She said she'll talk to the principal when she returns. Whether she was willing to express her shock to her boss, I am not sure!

What was most disturbing about the administration's action was they took the easy way out and wrongfully terminated me. The administration didn't even bother to have me meet and talk with the students I was having trouble with. I feel we could've come to a civilized solution and I am willing to forgive those students! We could've found some common ground.

The administration was unwilling to give me a chance to finish working that day. They didn't bother to think that maybe the other classes might be better behaved, nor did they bother to think that I would be handling things better later that day.

The administration didn't even bother to have me meet with the students who claimed to feel "uncomfortable" around me!  I never heard about what I did to make them "uncomfortable". If I did something inappropriate to them, I was willing to apologize to them in person. However, the administration did not give me the chance to do so! All they went along with is unsubstantiated shallow  remarks and "gut feelings".

I will honestly say that I have NEVER touched a student (unless it was to shake hands or "give five") at St. Andrew's Priory, nor did I do anything that could be considered sexual harrasment! So what was it that made anyone "uncomfortable?" As far as know, the only thing that might've made students "uncomfortable" was talking to Ms Ahn's students in a stern voice and walking towards them to give them a demerit!

I am willing to talk to the administration, staff and students of St. Andrew's Priory if any specific incident or any evidence come up!

I am also willing to accept apologies from the administration about all shallow, unsubstantiated remarks.

Otherwise, I am considering consulting a lawyer about this wrongful termination.

I don't need another dollar from St. Andrew's Priory. It's not about money, it's about the lack of justice from St. Andrew's Priory! 

Sincerely,

Pablo Wegesend

(my note: those color coding and bold font  are added for this blog, and weren't in the copy of the the letter that I sent)


Again, the above letter was sent to the principal, the assistant, and the head of the substitute service I was working for.

In 2007, I found out Saint Andrew's Priory had a Head of School  (different person from the principal. Don't ask me why, I don't know) and a   Board of Trustees.

This is what I wrote to them on February 17, 2007

From: Pablo Wegesend

 

To: St. Andrew’s Priory Head of school

To: St. Andrew’s Priory Board of Trustees

 

It has recently come to my attention that the Head of School resigned. I have never met that Head of School.

 

However, I have met Principal Kathleen Carstensen, and I can tell you the way she treated me shows that she is a disgrace to your school, and a shallow human being. If there’s anyone who should resign, it ought to be Ms. Carstensen

 

I was a substitute teacher at your school on 11/28/06 and 12/4/06.

 

On 11/28/06, I was the substitute for the high school P.E. teacher Brad Taura. I never had any serious problems with anyone that day.

 

However, on 12/4/06, things didn’t’ go as smoothly.  I was the substitute for high school social studies teacher Sophie Anh.

 

The students were distracted from their assignments. At first, I let a few things slide. However, towards the end of class, I started to talk to them in a stern voice.

 

One of the students left the classroom, and told the administration officials that I was yelling at the students (lie!) and that I was being “mean”.

 

I was then told to go meet with principal Ms Carstensen. Carstensen told me to leave the campus and not come back.

 

I admit I was not a perfect person that day. However, some of the things Carstensen told me during that meeting was so disturbing, that any human being with decency would find Carstensen’s actions repulsive.

 

First, Ms. Carstensen said she heard from some teachers (which she refused to name) that I made students “uncomfortable”. She refused to tell me what I did to make the students “uncomfortable”!

 

Why was that disturbing? Because if Carstensen refused to tell me who made the accusations, or what the accusations really were, then I am assuming she just made them up, and said those things to hurt me, and to justify her expulsion of me!

 

Then, Ms Carstensen said some students said I was “weird”. Carstensen refused to tell me who said them, and what I did that was “weird”. And since when is being “weird” a firing offense. Is there any teacher that hasn’t been considered weird at least once?

 

Also, the word “weird” doesn’t really mean much, since it is a word use by extremely shallow people to describe someone who is different. It is disappointing that Ms Carstensen was shallow enough to go along with that description of me, and use it as a justification to expel me!

 

Also, there are times when I think of someone I met as “weird” or thought he/she would make me “uncomfortable”! However, I later find that person to be a good person! Why can’t Ms Carstensen understand that?

 

Ms Carstensen also said my voice was “whiny”! Is that how principals are supposed to talk to anyone! That was an ad hominem attack! Do you consider such ad hominem attacks appropriate?

 

Carstensen said she had a “gut feeling” that I wouldn’t be a good fit for the school. “Gut feelings” are an excuse to not use evidence when it comes to punishing, firing or expelling people! “Gut feelings” were her excuse to justify her ad hominem attacks on me!

 

Ms Carstensen didn’t bother to have me meet with the accusing students in the office. That is a mistake on her part. In most cases, all it takes is a meeting in the office for all involved people to discuss their grievances. This way, all involved understand why each person reacted as they did, and the path to forgiveness has started. It is disappointing that Ms. Carstensen didn’t use that option in solving whatever problems I might’ve had with the students!

 

Or maybe Carstensen had zero evidence of her accusations and made it all up to justify her ad hominem attacks, and to justify her decision to expel me.

 

In conclusion,  all I want from St. Andrew’s Priory is justice in this situation!

 

Sincerely,

Pablo Wegesend

(my note: those color coding and bold font  are added for this blog, and weren't in the copy of the the letter that I sent)


 Though I didn't get a reply directly from the people I sent the letter to, I did get some good news the following year.

You see, in 2008, I was working at a sub teacher at Queen Emma Preschool, which is run by the same church that runs Saint Andrew's Priory. That would be the Episcopal Church. And they shared the same payroll provider. My experiences at Queen Emma Preschool were great and the admin was cool!

But being that the payroll is coming from the same office, I decided to re-visit the issue again with the head of the private sub agency that sent me to both schools.

The head of the sub agency already told me earlier that her other substitutes also had problems with Kathleen Carstensen, and that she even banned another sub who was considered a favorite all the other schools.

The head of the sub agency also told me that Kathleen Carstensen was no longer the principal of Saint Andrew's Priory!  The head of the sub agency also told me that

I heard so many bad things about that principal (Ms Carstensen) from the subs and other staff members that I could write a whole book about it.

Understandably, she wouldn't write the books due to a confidentiality agreement.


--------------------

So why only now am I blogging about this?

One, there have been so many other distractions in my life, and I can only blog about so much!

Also, I was reluctant about going public being that I was a male substitute teacher working at an all-girls school and was reluctant to be a target of radio/TV comedian jokes related to that issue.

But you know what? I shouldn't let that stop me from exposing the negative people out there, and Kathleen Carstensen is one of the most negative people I have ever met in my life.

Yeah, she may be long gone from her Reign of Terror (and Error) at Saint Andrew's Priory.  But she  is still not exempt from being exposed to the light!



PS: I have subbed at another all-girls school since then -- Sacred Hearts Academy.

Been there 3 times. So far, absolutely ZERO problems at the schools.


It's the individual person, not the gender, that was the problem at Saint Andrew's Priory!

Chris Deedy and Kollin Elderts

A few weeks ago, Chris Deedy a federal agent who was here to provide security for the APEC conference, got a hung jury for the murder of Kollin Elderts at a Waikiki McDonalds.

http://www.staradvertiser.com/news/breaking/221195011.html?id=221195011

http://www.staradvertiser.com/specialprojects/court/christopher-deedy/

Because Chris Deedy was of European-American ancestry  and was from the continental US, and because Kollin Elderts was a local guy of mixed ancestries (looks Hawaiian, Filipino but has a European last name. His exact ancestries weren't publicized) there was the race card.

 http://www.hawaiireporter.com/racially-charged-murder-trial-grips-hawaii/123

Hawaii Reporter

Chris Deedy

 Hawaii Reporter

Kollin Elderts

Kollin Elderts was drunk that night and was with his friend (also drunk). They were making fun of another customer who tried to ignore them. When the customer later stared at them, Eldert's drunken friend said "what? we were just joking?"

Well, Chris Deedy (also drunk)  felt he had to intervene. He pulled out his badged and showed it to Elderts. Deedy thought Elderts was just going to submit to his "authority". Elderts just thought Deedy was bluffing and said "what, you're going to arrest me?"   Deedy was shocked by Elderts defiance. Elderts called him out and then attacked Deedy. Deedy had a gun and shot Elderts.

surveillance video at http://www.staradvertiser.com/news/breaking/20130710_Jurors_in_federal_agents_murder_trial_watch_surveillance_video.html?id=214987571

--------

Chris Deedy was allowed to carry his gun as long as he wasn't intoxicated!


But Deedy was drinking the whole night! This drunkeness erased whatever credibility he might've had!

This is why I don't even drink alcoholic beverages!  Once you start drinking, your judgment is impaired. Once you start drinking, you have basically lost all credibility once trouble starts.

Had Deedy not been drinking alcohol and he still had trouble with Elderts, chances are Deedy would've been acquitted and free to move on with his life.

But because Deedy was drunk, Elderts thought Deedy was bluffing  when he showed his badge. I mean, any drunk in Waikiki (there's tons of them) can pretend to be Jesus or an undercover cop! They usually get laughed at and ignored.

Also, Deedy pulled out his badge, even though he was just there to bodyguard diplomats. He wasn't a real cop! He had no back-up ready to step in! If you ain't got no back-up, dont pull out a badge. Otherwise, as Deedy learned the hard way, someone can call your bluff, especially someone who was drunk like Elderts.

-----

As for Elderts and his friend, because both were drunk and making fun of other customers, they thought they were invincible. They both liked to cause trouble and get into fights. In fact, Elderts was already convicted of another incident where fought with other bar customers and even fought with the police.

http://www.staradvertiser.com/news/breaking/20130808_Judge_sets_limits_on_testimony_about_Elderts_disorderly_conduct_conviction.html?id=218913421



Well, you can only cause so much trouble until you run into someone with a gun!

Intervention in Syria

Barack Obama once said that if the Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad was to use chemical weapons, the US would take action.

 http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/obama-issues-syria-red-line-warning-on-chemical-weapons/2012/08/20/ba5d26ec-eaf7-11e1-b811-09036bcb182b_story.html

That was last year. That was during  an election year. Obama felt that he had show his neo-conservative opponents that he's not a "soft, namby-pamby pacifist who apologizes for America."

Well, last month, Assad used chemical weapons on his opponents.

http://www.latimes.com/world/middleeast/la-fg-syria-poison-gas-20130822,0,2731889.story 


Now, Obama is in a tough position. He said the US would take action if Assad used chemical weapons!  But the US population is tired of our military intervening in other countries affairs! 
As Obama said last year, we got nation building to do at home!

We still don't know what Obama would actually do! He might send warplanes to Syria.

But if he ever send ground troops to Syria, that's it  ---- the American public would turn against him big time! 

 We're getting closer to a turning point in American history.

Obama will be the last president in a long-time to even promise military intervention against a country that didn't attack us. 


 The American  People no longer have faith in having the US troops go in and intervene in other countries affairs.  The American public reaction to chaos in other countries is now "screw it, that's their problem" and "getting involved will just make it worse"


It will probably stay that way for decades.


-------

Check out a 2011 blog post on this topic titled "Defend America 1st"
http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2011/07/defend-america-1st.html 

Embrace the shy side and the hyper side

(note: the following was a section from last year's blog post. But I think this issue deserve its own blog post, so I cut, paste edit from an earlier blog post and put it here)




Last year, I came across this article, and it was about something I really wanted to address.


http://www.salon.com/2012/10/09/must_i_drink_to_socialize/

Basically, it was a letter to an advice column that stated "It bothers me that without a drink I'm sort of shy and awkward"

I'm sure that's what many have been thinking, and why many chose to drink alcoholic beverages.

Here is my response to that

I say EMBRACE THE SHY SIDE OF YOU!

Yeah, I know, hard to do that, if your family and peers have been stigmatizing your "shyness" for decades.

But the reason humans develop shyness is TO KEEP US OUT OF TROUBLE!

That's right, being reluctant to do something can save your life!

Just look at all the people damaged by "doing it to fit in". Many end up being substance addicts, dead early or in jail.

So EMBRACE YOUR SHY SIDE and (beep) anyone who doesn't like it!

Sometimes, it's better to be introverted than extroverted.



I learned that the hard way and I wrote a blog post on it last year

http://pablowegesend.blogspot.com/2012/09/myself-2-decades-ago.html

For one thing, I started middle school with same crazy sense of humor, saying inappropriate things as I did back in elementary school. WRONG MOVE!

Little did I understand the same humor that worked in elementary school did NOT work in middle school.  All it did was earn a few enemies.


I might've gotten away with my earlier silliness if I was one of the tough guys.

I wasn't!


After a while, I just learned to shut up in class, especially if you don't have any friends in that class.

Ironically, that got people who just me asking "why are you so quiet?"

But as the quote goes -- "It's better to be quiet and be thought as a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

 I also want to say this:

Being "shy" in certain situations is a basic survival skill!


Sometimes, it's better to keep your mouth shut, and better to just listen, learn and soak in all things you are observing!



I also want to say this to all the parents who are over-worrying about this nonsense of "omg, my child is so quiet, I want him to make friends"



It is way more important to know which peers to avoid than to try be friends with everyone!



When you enter a new school, it is more important to observe than to try to fit in!



One of the ways I avoided trouble in high school that I observed my peers before even attempting to hang out with them.


Whereas I know this one guy who wanted to fit in with a clique thought they would just embrace him if he entered in uninvited! After all, they embraced the same music and fashion. But they didn't respect him! He didn't see the warning signs before joining them.  He no longer hangs out with them.  


Those who are introverted are less likely to end up hanging out the wrong crowd.


The extroverted, because they always want to be social, many times end up in situations in which their friends are doing the wrong thing (ie. drugs, vandalism, bullying, etc!)


And then what? You already know!



That's right, if you got an introverted child ---- EMBRACE THAT!



Of course, I'm NOT always introverted.



In class, I was usually the one asking questions and making comments on the class topic. Still am!


And by my senior year in high school, I was the life of the party. I sang during talent shows, yelled during  pep rallies, and the school events, I was hyper!  



That surprised some peers who thought I was "quiet" and "non-social" in some of my classes in previous years!


But I know when to be "shy" and when to be hyper! 



But more importantly,  I can enjoy a party/event/game WITHOUT drinking alcoholic beverages!


It's called "party responsibly"


Another important life skill!

Over-reactions to Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke

I usually reserve my commentary on the current music scene until the end of the year, when I do my usual "year in review" blog posts.

However, there are 2 artists who have experienced over-reactions from the public lately.

They are Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke.

Miley Cyrus had transitioned from being a star of a children's TV show to a young adult sex symbol.

Robin Thicke had some minor hits in the past, but he had his first mega-hit with "Blurred Lines" this year, with Pharell and T.I.


But first, we'll talk Miley

1) Miley Cyrus

Yeah, I know, she performed at the MTV awards last night! There are complaints.

People still can't let go of the fact that she's no longer  the innocent childhood star of "Hannah Montana".

Seriously,  when most of were 20 years old, nobody expected us to be the same person we were when we were 12 years old! But that's what happens to stars of children's shows ALL THE TIME!

Most of us were little lovable tweens at 12 years old who grow up to become 20 year-olds who did a lot of freak-dancing at the clubs after midnight!

But most of aren't followed around by paparazzi, so our transition has been much smoother. 

Miley Cyrus had her "Can't Be Tamed" song 2 years ago, but people still weren't ready to let "Hannah Montana" move on!

When this year's mega-summer hit "We Can't Stop" came out, I was thinking "FINALLY people no longer expect her to be the same person she was when 12 years old!"

But because her performance at the MTV awards last night was so explicit, the backlash came back with a vengance.

Seriously people, it was just a show!  Cyrus will continue to evolve, like most musicians do!

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It isn't just the sexuality that got an over-reaction. The race card has been pulled out too! To some people, having a European-American singer singing African-American style music will always be "exploitation"

http://www.vulture.com/2013/08/jody-rosen-miley-cyrus-vmas-minstrel.html

Cyrus has spent a lot of time recently toying with racial imagery. We’ve seen Cyrus twerking her way through the video for her big hit “We Can’t Stop,” professing her love for “hood music,” and claiming spiritual affinity with Lil’ Kim. Last night, as Cyrus stalked the stage, mugging and twerking, and paused to spank and simulate analingus upon the ass of a thickly set African-American backup dancer, her act tipped over into what we may as well just call racism: a minstrel show routine whose ghoulishness was heightened by Cyrus’s madcap charisma, and by the dark beauty of “We Can’t Stop” — by a good distance, the most powerful pop hit of 2013.

A doctoral dissertation could (and will) be written on the racial, class, and gender dynamics of Cyrus’s shtick. I’ll make just one historical note. For white performers, minstrelsy has always been a means to an end: a shortcut to self-actualization. The archetypal example is in The Jazz Singer (1927), in which Al Jolson’s immigrant striver puts on the blackface mask to cast off his immigrant Jewish patrimony and remake himself as an all-American pop star.

Look at what was highlighted in red:  Miley Cyrus being accussed of "racism" for imitating Lil Kim (as well as Nicki Minaj)! Other comments have claimed that Miley Cyrus is mocking "black culture" with her Lil Kim imitations. Those are heavy accussations and ridiculous assertions!

Look, I may have Latin American ancestry , but I don't have a problem with non-Latin artists like Rob Thomas, Diddy,Wyclef or 98 Degrees making songs with Latin themes!   

I also thought it was cool when Dr Dre, Snoop Doog, Ice Cube, Nate Dogg, Masta Ace and a whole bunch other African-American  rappers used lowriders (which started as a Chicano trend) in their videos back in the 1990's!

But even though people want to be silly with their race cards, most people aren't buying it!

LilBoyBlue

White people pony up more than 50% of the revenue grossed by black entertainment - not to make fun of it or mock it - but because it's FUN and sometimes SEXY and often INCREDIBLE.  

Then, when they try to take part, it's racism?

Saying a white girl shouldn't twerk because it's an act that belongs to a particular race of people (1) is more demeaning to that group of people (come on, it's shaking one's ass. Black America is better than being the owners of ass-shaking) and (2) more racist toward the person trying to have fun. It's suggesting she should stick to white people activities/dancing/music - whatever those are.

Now, twerking on TV, strictly for profit - I'll concede there may be some exploitation there. But it's not hateful, nor suggesting some type of superiority - two legitimate qualities of racism.

Ask yourself this: two girls kissing in a club, exploiting and mimicking lesbian behavior just to excite guys: immature fun or homophobia?

I doubt anyone would describe that as homophobic. And twerking isn't racism.

Twerk, Miley Miley, twerk!

dinamarvell

Everybody's talking about Miley so mission accomplished as far as she's concerned. I don't think her performance was entertaining or tasteful, but I fail to see racism. Go to any suburban high school prom, and you'll see white kids twerking. If Miley had used all white back up dancers, she'd be accused of appropriating black culture without giving African-Amercians a chance for employment and exposure. Love it or hate it, twerking is certainly derived from black culture, but like rock and roll, jazz, blues and countless lesser examples, it's crossed to the mainstream.

juicifruit89

False. if Miley would've used all White (or a mixed group) of twerkers, she would've received less backlash on that aspect of her performance.

popmom

Saying a white girl can't twerk is like saying a black girl can't be a ballerina.Or sing country. It's just not fair. I don't think it's "appropriation of a culture" if it's based on product that is out there being sold. Once you market it to the world, you have put it in the pop blender and it's fair game. Lots and lots of money has been made by hip-hop being sold to the masses. It is now part of the culture of all the kids who grew up listening to it. It's the soundtrack of their childhoods, and in the tradition of pop music, they will use it it and morph it into their own thing. That's just how that goes.

2) Robin Thicke

and of course, Robin Thicke was on stage with Miley Cyrus at last night's award shows.

Since Robin Thicke has been doing R&B for a little while longer, he had less race cards thrown at him then were thrown at Miley Cyrus who came from a country music father, and Disney pop career.

But Robin Thicke had experience another type of over-reaction over his hit "Blurred Lines".

Thicke, Pharell, and T.I. were wearing suit  in their video, but the women were nearly naked (in one version) and fully naked (in another version). This led a big series of whining.  But you know what?  That video was made to entertain straight men! If the LGBT and straight women can have their entertainment, why not straight men?

There were parody videos with the reverse situation : fully clothed women and (nearly or fully) naked men!  Those parody videos are a better tactic than whining on feminist blogs!

And the other over-reaction to "Blurred Lines" was over the following lines from the song
 http://www.metrolyrics.com/blurred-lines-lyrics-robin-thicke.html

And that's why I'm gon' take a good girl
I know you want it
I know you want it
I know you want it
You're a good girl
Can't let it get passed me
You're far from plastic
Talk about gettin blasted
I hate these blurred lines
I know you want it
I know you want it
I know you want it
But you're a good girl
The way you grab me
Must wanna get nasty
Go ahead, get at me

What does that sound like to you?

What it sounds like it "hey baby, don't be shy, let's just have some fun"


However, the radical feminists have a different idea.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/06/17/blurred-lines-robin-thicke-s-summer-anthem-is-kind-of-rapey.html

The nudity might be fine if the song was called, “Let’s All Have Some Fun,” but it’s called “Blurred Lines,” and the subject itself is enough to make some female music fans uncomfortable. The song is about how a girl really wants crazy wild sex but doesn’t say it—positing that age-old problem where men think no means yes into a catchy, hummable song.

“Good girl, I know you want it,” sings Thicke, who has all of his clothes on, as one of the near-naked models dances and pouts next to him. “Talk about getting blasted, I hate these blurred lines, I know you want it, but you’re a good girl, the way you grab me, must want to get nasty.”

Not surprisingly the combination of the lyrics and the video’s nudity has irked some female music fans.

“Has anyone heard Robin Thicke’s new rape song?” Lisa Huyne wrote in a post on her blog, Feminist in L.A. “Basically, the majority of the song (creepily named ‘Blurred Lines’) has the R&B singer murmuring ‘I know you want it’ over and over into a girl’s ear. Call me a cynic, but that phrase does not exactly encompass the notion of consent in sexual activity … Seriously, this song is disgusting—though admittedly very catchy.”

Look at the part highlighted in red: Robin Thicke is accused of promoting rape! That's a heavy accusation to be making!


Look, sometimes people let their real life trauma get in the way of making sense.



So, someone who might've heard "I know you want it" a few minutes before getting raped might have bad memories flashing back when there's a song with "I know you want it" even though that song was NEVER about forcing anyone into sexual intercourse! 


It's just a party song saying  "hey baby, don't be shy, let's just have some fun"  It didn't specifically state that "fun" would be sex right now! It could easily just meant "let's freak dance together"

 Also, T.I. was accussed of saying "let me break that ass in two". WRONG! Here's what he really said!

 One thing I ask you
Let me be the one you back that ass into

in another words, it's about freak dancing, not sexual assault!

And most people (male, female, straight, LGBT, whatevers) know that!  

It that's why the song is a mega-hit!

Freedom of Expression

Freedom of expression means you can express whatever thoughts you want and the government can't arrest you for it!

But some people think there should be execptions to the rule. They think the government should protect their feelings from getting hurt!  Hell No!

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Earlier this month, a rodeo clown was wearing a Barack Obama mask!

AP Photo/Jameson Hsieh

The rodeo clown

 

 

 

People have been wearing masks of presidents for years!

 

 

Most of us have seen clips of bank robbers wearing masks of Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon.

 

 

In heavy metal band Ministry's video "NWO", there was a guy with George Bush Sr's mask. Not only that, the same guy was dancing in a sexual manner.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI2nfB0TDGc

 

 

But somehow, some people think Obama should be immune from the same type of mockery that other presidents have received.

 

 

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/aug/14/naacp-calls-doj-secret-service-investigate-rodeo-c/

 

 

The Missouri chapter of the NAACP appealed for the U.S. Department of Justice and the Secret Service to launch an investigation and open a federal case against the rodeo clown who donned a mask of President Obama’s face and mocked with the crowd: Do you want to see a bull run down Mr. Obama?

Notice what I wrote in red: someone wants a FEDERAL investigation over a rodeo clown!

I think the federal government has more important things to worry about!

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I know some people have mentioned that the rodeo crowd reminded them of mistrel shows that were once popular, where actors painted their face black, and act in skits that were degrading to those of African ancestry!

I understand such concerns about inappropriate racist humor!

But federal investigations are not the answer!

The answer is to use your words (and other forms of expression) against those minstrel shows!

The answer is using blogs, podcasts, skits, plays, songs, comics, documentaries, flyers, brochures and other forms of expression against those you oppose!

 

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It also remind me of whenever some comic artist, film-maker, comedian, etc make inflammatory "entertainment" mocking Islam. There are demands for the government of wherever that artist/director/etc came from to "do something about it".

 

Just one example, back in 2005, a Danish newspaper published a bunch of comics making fun of the Islamic faith.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jyllands-Posten_Muhammad_cartoons_controversy

 

 

Of course, Muslims have every right to be offended by such inflammatory artwork.

 

 

However, government officials from 11 Muslim-majority countries (Turkey, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Pakistan, Egypt, Indonesia, Algeria, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Libya, Morocco, and Palestine) demanded the Danish government to censor those comics.

 

From the letter

http://www.rogerbuch.dk/jpabrev.pdf

 

We deplore these statements and publications and urge Your Excellency’s government to take all those responsible to task under law of the land in the interest of inter-faith harmony, better integration and Denmark's overall relations with the Muslim world.

—Letter from 11 ambassadors

 

Look at the words written in red: Those govenment ambassadors think the Danish government should protect their feelings from being hurt!

 

That was the same reaction when an American film-maker made a film mocking Mohammed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Innocence_of_Muslims

 

 

Look, the US is mostly Christian, yet we didn't arrest the guy who put a cross in a jar of urine or the guy who made an image of the Virgin Mary  with elephant dung. Nor did we arrest Marrolyn Manson or Bill Maher who made insults against Christianity. And they shouldn't be arrested!

 

The atheists aren't protected from getting their feelings hurt either. Remember that  Jerry Falwell blamed atheists (as well as feminists and gays) for making America vulnerable to the 9/11 attacks. He didn't get arrested or investigated either! And he shouldn't!

 

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Here, we dont' believe in using the government to protect our feelings! 

 

We answer back with words, art, blogs,  flyers, songs, whatevers!

 

 

In this internet age, anyone can get their own blog to respond against anyone who hurts their feelings! (and you don't even need your own computer, you can use the computers at the public library FOR FREE!)

 

Or do what the rappers do, make songs to answer back your critics!

 

 

So yeah, don't be a censor, use your Freedom of Expression!